"Hi Nena, so Bill worked on you eh?"

"Uh huh, yes I'm with Global for the season" it was Colin, the feeder driver.

"Chris got another job? He's a good lad that one"

"I think so, Julia would know." That's something we'll have to sort out, especially as Jools is dating him, me. Well you know what I mean.

"You've got some odd ones this week" Colin offered taking a draw on his coffee.

"Odd ones?"

"You know strange passengers"

"Oh?"

"That bloke over by the coach, with the carrier bag?"

"Yes, I see him"

"Well that bag is all that he's got, no case or anything"

"No case?"

"I swear" Colin stated. "And the old couple just getting on look a bit strange too."

"Thanks for the warning"

He glanced at his watch, "best be off I suppose"

I don't know why, but I always have a feeling of excitement when I join the coach for a tour. Meeting the people that I'll be with for the next week, most for the first time, a few regulars, except with me as Nena they are all first timers!

We've been here before so you don't want to hear about the journey down to the Channel again really do you. Col was right, it looks like I've copped for all of this weeks weirdo's! Besides the ones that Colin pointed out at Leicester, there's two women with their teenage daughters, the mothers unable to admit they're not teens and dressed to suit. Watch out Den! If I was Chris I'd be nervous too! I suppose the rest of the nearly full bus were pretty average as passengers go, generally older and I recognized a few from previous tours.

The ride down was uneventful, we did our usual Toddington coffee stop, as you might imagine we three 'girls' spent the time there talking about our passengers. Mandy has pulled the short straw, one of her passengers uses a wheelchair, which will make for quite a bit more work for her.

We arrived in Dover almost in convoy, the drivers minibus as usual stood waiting for our arrival, for a third trip I have Den. I guess if I'm going to do most of the German trips we'll be paired for the season.

"Everything okay Colin?"

"A bit of fan belt whine"

"I'll tighten them up later then, passengers okay Nena?"

"No problems on the way down Dennis"

Colin finished getting his stuff together and Den worked on the Tacho.

"Well I'll see you next Sunday then, have a good trip, look after her Den"

"The bus or Nena?"

"Both but especially Nena" Colin winked as he stepped off of Betsy.

"I will, bye Col"

"Bye" I added

Den finished settling in and we were ready to roll. I pulled the mike out and stood up.

"Can you all have your passports ready please"

Well that includes me, it struck me then as I pulled the little booklet out, I was officially Nena Ziegler. No praying that they wouldn't check or thinking of potential excuses. Nope, in fact I wanted them to look, to check it! As we drove up the ramp I looked at the document, how did I come to this? I never looked for it, I mean until a month ago the only female clothing I'd ever worn was a pair of tights in a junior school play! (I was a pageboy).

I was disappointed that we were waved straight through today, we were soon dockside and waiting for the one o'clock sailing. There was a stiff onshore breeze but the sun was out and everyone was in good mood. The couple of smokers on board took the opportunity for a quick fag; I sat on the step with a can of pop. Finally they started to load and I got everyone back on, Den pumped up the suspension and we were off!

"Remember girl, you can ring us anytime" Mand mentioned as we chatted in the drivers lounge.

"I hope I won't need to"

"Well just remember, with those puppies on your chest you are bound to get hit on," Julia advised. Timely advice as it turns out!

Overhearing the last comment Den turned from his conversation with the other drivers.

"I'll be looking out for 'her'"

"It's you we're worried about!" Mand joked

"Give over guys" I stated

Just over an hour later we were out of Calais port and heading for the autoroute. We followed Mand onto the eastbound route while Julia's coach headed south towards their overnight south of Paris. At Dunkirk we turned off ourselves onto the Lille road leaving Mandy's bus to continue towards their own overnight near Dusseldorf.

Did I mention that we are on an overnight? We are due at our destination resort mid morning tomorrow, I'm not sure of the logic other than it saves one hotel bill! Of course we've got plenty of stops scheduled on our seemingly strange route and we've got a couple of films for the passengers later. I hate overnights; you can never get more than a few minutes kip so you are wasted the following day.

At least they've done some repairs on the A25 and we made good time to Lille. I did my usual tea run; this week looks like it might be hard work, not many takers now or on the way down to Dover earlier. We picked up the motorway into Belgium; direction Mons where our first stop of the evening awaits us. The thin squeal of the fan belts announced our arrival at Thieu services.

"I'll have a quick look at the belts while we're here"

"How long then?"

"Forty five, the timings are quite generous"

"How's it going?" I asked passing Den a cup of tea

"Just about done, I'll have to change number three belt when we get there though"

"Will it be okay till then?" I instinctively held my skirt down as the wind whipped around my legs.

"Should be," he stated tightening the adjustment bolt back up.

The passengers started to drift back shortly afterwards, looks like we've got some 'lates', you know the ones who are always first in the meal queues but invariably 'don't hear' time instructions. There they are, no rush in them! It was the couple Colin had mentioned, he was wearing a raincoat and she was toting a shopping bag. I gave Den a look, he just shook his head.

"Are you waiting for us dear?" the old bint enquired

'Only five minutes!'

"Not really, everyone else was back a bit early"

Looks like we'll have to make some allowances this week. Den's mechanics seemed to have worked, the scream was gone and once more we were on our way. I sorted the DVD player out and set a harmless film, with that babe Gwyneth Paltrow in, some thing about an airhostess entitled 'View from the Top'. The passengers settled down and I resumed my seat and got out my book. We've got a couple of hours through the Belgian countryside while the film runs so I slipped my shoes off and propped my now painted toes on the dash.

The evening moved on, we passed Namur then our route headed for Luxembourg. We were just into Germany when the film finished, so I did a quick tea run aware that our meal stop wasn't too far off. In fact it was heading towards ten when we got to the services at Saarbrucken for our long stop, two hours.

Den and I joined the punters in the restaurant for a late dinner; by the time we returned to Betsy it was dark and getting a bit chilly. Den took the opportunity to catch forty winks and I settled down with my book again. Even the laggards were back on the bus in good time, there is only so much you can find to do in a German service station this time on a Saturday night!

Next stop Strasbourg! I put another film on, 'Bend it Like Beckham', knowing that most of the passengers would be asleep well before it's conclusion, me too quite likely. The autobahn was pretty quiet now as we passed the lights of Saarbrucken, as they passed behind we turned off to cut a corner through Sarreguemines.

We joined the Autoroute de L'est back in France and I dozed off.

"Chris!"

I stirred, had someone called me

"Bugger. Nena, wake up"

"Huh? What's up?"

"Not sure, we seem to be losing power"

"The belts?" I know nothing about engines!

"Could have something to do with it"

"What do we do then?"

"Can you look in the service book there and ring the help line, I'll keep going for now"

I got through to International Rescue and acted as intermediary as we trundled onward.

"Where are we?"

"Coming up to Saverne"

I relayed the information and got the instruction.

"He says to pull in to the services, he'll have someone out as soon as he can"

Not the best start to the week, I hope it's nothing too serious. Of course the early and unscheduled stop gained some interest from the passengers so I had to explain that we were just getting some professional advice. It was nearly two AM when the Setra service van pulled up; Den and I went to find out the crack.

The guy was good even if his English wasn't. Unfortunately the news wasn't good either, it wasn't too serious but not a roadside repair, worse still he didn't want us driving it any further.

Half an hour later and things were sorted, a tow truck was on it's way from the service center in Strasbourg and a replacement bus was being organized by International Rescue. When I rang Russell to tell him, I could tell that unavoidable as it was, to him it just spelled more expense.

Obviously we had to tell the passengers but I was loath to wake anyone up so I just made my way down the bus advising the few still conscious of what was going off. Sleep seemed like a good option, it could be hours before we were on the move again after all. I've had a couple of on tour breakdowns previously, we lost two days in Italy last year, luckily we were in resort then though.

I awoke to the sound of voices outside and a lot of clanging. Checking my watch I realised I'd managed a whole ninety minutes of sleep and the first signs of dawn were appearing in the eastern skies. I grabbed my jacket and joined Den and the tow truck crew outside.

"I was just about to wake you, these guys want to get hitched and rolling as soon as possible. If the other coach isn't here by four thirty we'll have to move the passengers into the services to wait."

"Great" I could already imagine the moaning and complaints. "I'd best get people awake then, what about cases?"

"Best transfer them in case I don't get down later"

I spent the next twenty minutes organizing my charges, there was no sign of the coach so after a quick bit of organization with the people in the services, the Global passengers and their luggage made their way inside.

"The mechanic reckons it'll take about six hours to fix once we get to the repair shop"

"So when should we expect you in Todtmoos?"

"It'll be at least midday before I get away, maybe four? I'll ring to let you know"

"Lets hope it's what he thinks"

"Yeah. Take care Chris, you're on your own now"

"Its Nena now remember, I'll get you for that! I'll see you later."

I watched with some vague misgivings as Betsy was towed off, I hope this relief coach hurries up!

It wasn't that much later, well just after five when I spotted the empty bus come in. I wasn't the only one; there was a murmur from the passengers as the news went round. He'd actually made good time having driven up from Freiburg where he was a night mechanic with SBG, the local bus operator. Our new steed was one of their Airport express buses, actually an older version of Betsy. I managed to extract that much before he disappeared.

Our new driver, Freddie, left me to organize the luggage and passengers while he got his mandatory break. Luckily a couple of the male passengers decided to take charge of the luggage, not that I couldn't but I was hardly dressed for scrambling in coach lockers! One of the perks of my new persona I guess.

With an ever-lightening sky we pulled back onto the motorway best part of five hours after we pulled off. I was starting to feel a bit grubby by now; I'd been on the go for nearing twenty-four hours. Originally we were to stop at Strasbourg then at Freiburg for breakfast but we were now missing the first of those.

"So Nena, you do this all the time?" Freddie asked (his accent was pretty strong so I've translated for you)

"Er yes, for about five years"

"You are German? You must be with that name"

"Uh huh" I allowed, trying to be non committal

"You have a boyfriend?" was he just making conversation?

"Not at the moment"

The conversation moved on to other things and we were soon negotiating the streets of Strasbourg en route for the Rhine Bridge over to Kehl and Germany. Sun light was now streaming into the coach and most of the passengers were awake as we passed into Germany. We soon joined the southbound autobahn; my stomach gave an involuntary grumble in expectation of breakfast.

Sunday morning traffic was light on the two lane road, the sun catching the distant hills of the Vosges off to our right and the Black Forest coming down to greet us on the left. We made good time and pulled into Breisgau services for our breakfast stop a bit after nine. Normally we'd have stopped at Mahlberg then given the punters some time in Freiburg afterwards but that would have to go by the board today.

I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable as Freddie watched me over the cafeteria table. I could feel his eyes weighing me up; he smiled a toothy grin through his cigarette smoke when I looked up.

"You come to Freiburg this week?"

"Not sure, maybe"

"Maybe we meet up eh?"

Was he coming on to me?

"I er don't think I'll have time"

"Maybe your day off?" he wasn't getting the hint.

"I don't get one this week"

"Ah shame. We could have had some fun eh? You, me, some beers"

"I guess I'll just have to take a rain check. I'll see you outside"

I collected my bag and headed for the ladies. The ladies, I can't believe I'm doing this - again, and that that letch was coming onto me! Gross! I was surprised, the passengers were in fine fettle despite our overnight trauma and even our late couple were at the bus when I got to it. It seemed strange not seeing Betsy there, instead this blue machine with a plane on the side waited. Strangest for me was that I wasn't riding shotgun; Freddie could actually see up the road, I wasn't his lookout!

Our temporary chauffeur seemed unfazed by my brush off and we were soon tonking down towards Basel. Again this was not normally our route, Den would have taken us across the Schwarzwald to Todtmoos but Freddie just wanted to get there quickly. We turned east past Lörrach before we reached the Swiss border, finally leaving the motorway at Säckingen.

The last thirty kilometers took us north into the rolling hills and forest of the southern Schwarzwald. We finally pulled up at the hotel shortly before eleven, only about an hour later than planned. By now I just wanted to hit the sack for a bit, I went through the booking in procedure on automatic!

"Maybe I'll see you in the week eh" Freddie mentioned as he prepared to depart.

Not if I have anything to do with it!

"Possibly, thanks Freddie"

"Bye Nena"

I watched him drive off then turned my thoughts to Den. I hope everything is going okay; I'm not sure what happens if I've not got a vehicle for tomorrow. I retired to my room and after pulling the blind stripped my now quite whiffy outfit off. I looked at myself in the mirror, how did I get to this? Breasts and a very realistic faux vagina now defined me. Where is Chris? Who am I? Officially I'm now Nena, do I really want this? I extracted my PJ's, slipped them on and in exhaustion collapsed into bed.

"Brring Brring! Brring Brring! Brring Brring!"

I grabbed my phone and through sleep encrusted eyes checked the clock, one o'clock.

"'Ello"

"Nena?"

"Uh huh. Whozat?"

"Dennis"

"Oh hi" I sat up, "where are you?"

"Just about to leave the garage, it took a bit longer to do than we thought. When did you get there, I take it you are there?"

"Yeah, I'm in bed. Just before eleven"

"You didn't do bad then"

"Apart from the lecherous driver, he kept coming on to me all the way down"

"Can't say as I blame him"

"Den!"

"Well whatever you think you make a pretty good looking woman, you've got to expect some male attention."

"I suppose so. Anyway, when will you get here?"

"About four I hope, I'll get something to eat on the way down, yeah about four"

"Take care then, I'll see you later"

"Later Nena"

I hung up and assessed my surroundings. Well I certainly felt a lot better after my sleep, I really ought to get up otherwise I won't sleep tonight. I hit the shower, hmmm that was nice. I could feel my hidden equipment but not see it, talk about weird, something like the ghost sensation amputees have I suppose, except I wasn't actually missing anything!

Putting my PJ's back on I did my unpacking. Where did this lot come from? Over the last few weeks I seem to have accumulated so much stuff, dresses, skirts, sun tops, loads of underwear, shoes, sandals. And by experience I'd probably need most of it this week too! I selected an outfit for the afternoon then toddled out for a walk.

The village isn't much more than one main street with a few shops, a few hotels, there's no railway and an infrequent bus service. Despite its lacks it's a popular resort and I've been several times before. I had a coffee before heading back to the hotel and was just coming out of the travel agency when I spotted Betsy coming up the pedestrian zone to the hotel. I waved at Den who waved back and hopped on when he stopped before going on to the 'Schwarzwalder Hof'.

Maddy Bell 06.06.04

© 2004

Pictures of Nena have been generated using Ania's 'Cherie' Fkiss doll on Angy-Chan's template and are Copyright 2004. They are used with permission, if you'd like to see more go to www.acharsi.prv.pl

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