I drove carefully, as I didn't want to have to produce my licence to a police officer while dressed as a girl, with a boy's licence. I parked near the shop, and went and opened up. I was still en-femme, and I just checked the mail, and took my bag to the back, intending to change.

The shop bell went, and I swore.

I went out and two men were standing there.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Yes love, is the man who was working here last evening, in?"

Shit! What could I say?

"Not today, he's tied up. Is there anything wrong?"

"It is something only he could help us with," said the taller one. The other one said something to him.

"Well, maybe. He did a job for a colleague of our last night. We just wanted to know whether he saved anything of that job on the computer."

My heart raced, these were to do with the man and his short bit of film - the one that I took a CD copy.

"Okay, what time was it, yesterday?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, after three, I think," said the tall one, looking at his colleague who nodded.

"Okay. Lets have a look," I said, and opened up the PC files. The men were standing behind me.

"He did a film to still job, and he has erased all records. This shows a job at about four o'clock, and the made no copies, oh yes he did, he made a floppy with Winzip, obviously the picture was too big for a straight save. The copy was given to the client, who paid cash. He invoiced the man, but he didn't take it.

"He sent all items to the recycle bin, and it is empty. No other copies were made," I said.

The men looked at me suspiciously.

"Could he have made a copy but the computer wouldn't show it?"

"It is possible, but unlikely. We get hundreds of jobs in every week, and if we kept copies of everything, we'd run out of storage room very fast. Have you any idea how much drive space graphic files take up?" I asked.

"When is he due in?"

"I don't know. He only fills in occasionally, he is a college kid, and comes when we are short," I said, my heart thumping.

"What is his name?"

"Joe, something. I don't know his last name. He is just one of the many nerdy school kids who like to help out."

"Do you work here full time?"

I smiled, and tried to look like a dumb blonde.

"No, I'm another geek who helps out."

"So, no copies, and nothing on the computer?"

"No, but if it is important, I will see if I can get him to call you."

"No it isn't important, as long as you are sure."

"I am as sure as I can be. But I do think it highly unlikely."

"Thank you Miss. If he calls in, could you just make sure that no copies exist. If any do, give me a call on this mobile number."

I looked at the card.

Global Technics Ltd. Based in Hounslow, near Heathrow Airport.

"Okay. Is there anything else?" I asked.

"No, thanks for your help, love."

Then they were gone.

I breathed a sigh of relief, and went and made myself a coffee. I sat and read the emails, and processed the few orders, which had come in over night.

I switched on the TV and watched the news.

I saw another murder had been reported. Some bloke was found shot near a petrol station in Headington. Then they produced a photograph, and I almost died. It was the customer who came in for the print.

They said his name was William Henderson, and he was a civil servant. It was not known what the motive was.

I didn't know the facts, but I knew why he was killed, and I was positive it was because of the man in the film, someone called George Lambert.

I quickly ran an Internet search and found several, but one was now a junior Home Office minister for industry. I got his picture up, and froze, there was little doubt, it was the same man. Looking older and respectable, but still the same man.

"Shit!" I said.

Two more customers came in, and it was lunchtime before I realised that I had been dressed as a girl all morning.

I shrugged, if the cap fits, wear it.

I shut the shop for an hour and went over to the sandwich bar and bought some lunch, I thought that if I could I would hand in my assignment before Friday.

I was weeks ahead of everyone else, so I was now free until next term. I had a thought, I could bugger off to Europe for Jezzy, and that way would be out of harms way for several weeks.

I was walking back to the shop when my mobile went.

"Hi?" I said.

"Josie? It's Paul."

My heart had a little flutter as soon as I recognised his voice.

"Hi, thanks for remembering me."

"Are you free for lunch?"

I experienced feelings that were completely alien to me, and found myself grinning like a fool. I stared at the bag in my hand, containing a crusty baguette with coronation chicken.

"Yeah, if you like," I said.

"How about the Three Feathers, in ten minutes?"

I smiled as it was literally two minutes away from the shop.

"Where are you now?" I asked.

"Outside a shop saying closed for lunch."

I walked back, and saw him standing there.

"How about fifteen seconds?" I said.

"Where are you?"

"Standing behind you."

He turned round and saw me still dressed as a girl.

He put the phone away, and walked over to me.

"Hi," he said, and kissed my cheek.

"Hi yourself."

He looked at my baguette.

"If I got one too, we could eat it in the shop and save the cost of the drink."

I smiled.

"I'll put the kettle on, the sandwich shop is just down there on the left."

I went back in and found I was shaking like a girl on her first date. Well, I was, sort of.

I put the kettle on, and he was back by the time it boiled.

We chatted for a while about the business, and then he surprised the hell out of me.

"I've missed you," he said, and I was rendered speechless.

"You look wonderful. Why don't you always dress like a girl?"

"I'd love to, but it would kill my parents."

"Well, you look the part. You really are very attractive."

I blushed, as I was unused to such comments.

"Have you made an appointment with the doctor yet?"

"No. Too chicken." I admitted.

He came over and took my hand.

"Look, I've been through it. It may have been the other way, but I know what you are feeling, and you need to see the doctor.! Believe me, this has to be done properly."

I was silent. He picked up my mobile and keyed through to the names. He found 'doctor', and rang it. I opened my mouth, and he put his hand up.

"Hello, I'd like to make an appointment for....?"

"Joe Fortune, I'm with Dr Simpson," I said.

"J. Fortune, for Dr Simpson."

"In an hour, a cancellation, that'll be fine, thanks."

He hung up.

"There!"

"Bastard," I said, and he smiled.

"Do you mean that?"

"No, yes, hell, I don't know. Maybe."

The shop phone went. It was Martin.

"Hi Martin, how's it going?"

"Brilliant. Stewart is here."

"Yeah, he said he would try to get up."

"Look, he's taken loads of orders, and will be back to the shop tomorrow, will you be in?"

"I was going to be, why?"

"I was going to say, as he will be there, you can take the rest of the week off. Unless you fancy coming up here?"

I didn't.

"No, look that's great, I need more time for my assignment, so I'll take a break," I said.

"Okay, how's business?"

"Very quiet, I have processed all the orders so far, and I've had a couple off the street."

"Great. Look I'll be back on Monday, will you be in?"

"Ah, maybe not. I've got a chance of going on a little break."

"You lucky dog you, anyone I know?"

I looked at Paul.

"I very much doubt it," I said, and hung up.

We ate lunch, and I had to open up at two.

I took a couple of calls, and dealt with some orders on the site. I called Jezzy.

"Jezzy, it's me. Can you pop round?"

"Not right now, why?"

"I might do that job of yours."

"I'll be round in ten."

Paul was looking at me.

"Little break?"

"My sister wants me to take on her travel rep's job for a few weeks, so she can bugger off to the Caribbean with a new boyfriend."

"As a girl?"

I nodded.

"That's a bit complicated, isn't it?"

"Well, I want to fuck off out of the country for a bit, let the heat die down. This way I will be able to vanish."

"Heat?"

I explained everything to him, and he looked worried.

"Call the police, tell them."

"I don't know, if it is a Minister involved, whom do I trust?"

"You've a point, where is the CD?"

I held it up.

"I still think you should tell the police. But if you don't want to, then send it to a solicitor, and ask them to forward it to the police in the event of you not contacting them in, say, six weeks time. And make a copy and put it in a safe deposit box in a bank."

"What do you think it means?"

"If a man has died, and it implicates George Lambert, then it stinks. Somehow the photograph proves he was up to no good. But what?"

I put it in the PC and we watched it. The only other feature was a cottage.

"Where is that?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"Maybe it is the scene of a crime, and he was filmed coming away from it," I suggested facetiously.

He looked at me.

"That's it. That has got to be it."

We looked at it again, and I managed to just zoom in on a parked car in the distance. All I could see were the first three letters on the number plate, FUD.

"Its an Oxfordshire plate," I said.

"How do you know that?"

"I'm a geek, I know such crappy things. UD was always used by the Oxford licensing authority."

"Josie, tell the police!"

"Okay, I will tomorrow." I said.

I made another copy, and typed up a letter to the family solicitor. I put one in a Jiffy bag with the letter, and the other into my bag. Then Jezzy arrived.

She took one look at me, and her jaw hit the floor. I may have been wearing jeans, but what with my nail varnish, makeup, and 36C chest, I was looking more like her than she was!

"Shit! Look at you. Joe, what the fuck are you doing?" she said, and then saw Paul.

"Hi Jezzy, this is my friend Paul. Paul, my dumb twin, Jessica."

Paul pretended to play stupid.

He frowned.

"Jo? You said your name was Josie?"

"Oh, it is, I just tease her and call her Jo!" said Jezzy, looking really concerned at me.

Paul grinned and Jezzy realised she was having her leg pulled.

"So, what is going on?" she asked.

"I'll do that job for you, but I'll need that passport and other ID. I can't go as me. And you have to tell me what will be expected of me." I said.

"Well, you could have my Barclaycard, I don't use it much, but please don't put too much on it. I'll pop back later with the passport and all the paperwork, where will you be?"

I looked at Paul, and he nodded.

"She will be at my place," he said, and Jezzy looked astounded, both at the word 'she', and the fact that I was going to be staying with Paul.

He wrote down the address for her, and she rushed out again, telling me that I was the greatest, and she would be there by eight.

"You, doctor, now," Paul said.

"I'll change."

"No, it will make more of an impact like this."

"I can't, the doctor is a friend of the family."

"Oh, and I suppose telling him is different to showing him?"

"What about my voice?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, you sound more female than I do."

"Yeah, that wouldn't be hard!" I teased, and he tried to tickle me.

Twenty minutes later we walked into the surgery. Paul was not letting me chicken out. I was still a girl. I had shut the shop up, and lowered the shutters down, as I wasn't going back tonight.

"J. Fortune for Doctor Simpson." I said.

"Take a seat, dear." The lady said without looking up, and simply ticking me off the list.

We sat, and I was physically shaking.

"You'll be fine."

"Shut up!"

"J. Fortune?"

I stood.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Paul asked.

I shook my head, and went to the doctor's door. I swallowed and went in. The doctor was typing on his PC.

"Young Joe, what can I do........" He looked up, frowned and then looked at the notes on his desk.

"There has been a mistake, Jessica, I'm so sorry, the receptionist said it was a male who called. I have the wrong name on my list."

"Its me, Doctor, I am, no, was, hell, I suppose I still am Joe."

Robin Simpson knew me quite well; after all, he had been my doctor all my life.

He sat back, and looked me up and down.

"Well! This explains a few things, but I hope you will enlighten me?"

Twenty minutes later, after explaining things to him and an examination, I was dressed and sitting in the chair again.

"What can I say, Jo, or Josie, is it?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

"You have been very irresponsible with the pills. How did you come by them?"

"I'd rather not say. Have I done harm?"

"Probably, but I don't know how much, why did you come to me now?"

"My friend made me?"

"So, someone else knows?"

"Jessica, and my friend."

"Well, your friend has probably saved your life. Is she with you?"

"He is, he's outside in the waiting room."

His eyebrows shot up.

"Oh, Josie, this is getting complicated."

"No more than the rest of my life," I said, sighing.

"I suppose so, but those pills stop now, okay?"

"Only if you start me on the proper stuff," I said, obstinately.

He smiled, but with little humour.

"The pills you have been taking have certainly arrested your male development, so much so, I doubt whether you could ever revert. You do seem to be developing a feminine shape. Are you sure this is the road you want to travel?"

I nodded.

"Oh yes."

"Then, as you are eighteen, I have to take you seriously. I will refer you to a psychiatrist who will assess you through the process, and her final assessment will determine the course we follow. Do you understand?"

I nodded, and he looked at me closely.

"You really look very like your sister. It is quite uncanny. Look, on a personal note, and this is me talking, not your doctor, I think you are probably doing the right thing, as you are far too beautiful and feminine to be a boy. I think you probably always have, but I would have been out of line to mention it."

I looked at him sharply and smiled.

"As I said, this explains a few things. What about your parents?"

"Don't!" I said, reeling inside.

"They have to be told."

"I can't."

"I think your mother has guessed."

I looked at him and frowned.

"Mum? Never!"

"Don't judge a book by its covers. Your Mum may not be an academic, but she knows her children."

"You reckon?"

He nodded.

"Your father won't have a clue, but if I know him as well as I think I do, he won't mind too much, as long as you are honest."

"He'll kill me."

Dr Simpson smiled.

"No, he loves you, he may not like it, but he will accept it."

"How do I tell them?"

"That's up to you, but if you walk in looking like that, it may be a bit of a shock, but at least they will be able to see things more clearly."

The whole thing got too much, and I felt the tears build up. He handed me a tissue, and left me alone for a minute. I felt a strong arm on my shoulders, and looked up to find Paul there. The doctor had fetched him.

I lost it then, and sobbed my heart out into his shoulder. He just held me as I cried.

The doctor came back, and Paul held my hand.

"Everyone needs someone, and I am so pleased Josie has someone," the doctor said to Paul. This made me smile.

He then wrote a prescription for my hormones.

"Look, Josie. The pills you have been taken have done a good job, in that you have chemically castrated yourself. Do you ever experience an erection?"

I shook my head, as I was embarrassed now.

"I used to, occasionally and partially. But not recently and I haven't ejaculated in ages."

"I think we will have to remove the testicles. They have shrunk to a fraction of their original size and I suppose they are surplus to requirements, and there is a possibility they could become cancerous."

Paul looked at me with that 'I told you so' expression.

"When?"

He looked at his watch. "It is a short job, and I could do it this evening under a local. Can you pop back at five?"

"That soon?" I asked, surprised.

"As I said, if I don't you could regret it, and it is just a quick snip and a couple of stitches."

I looked at Paul.

He looked at the doctor.

"We'll be back at five," he said.

"Good. Then that gives you time to go to the chemist, and grab a cup of tea. Really, in your current condition, this is no worse than a vasectomy."

I immediately started worrying about the stitches.

"Um, doctor, these stitches, do they need taking out?"

"No, they self-dissolve in a few days! Just no rugby," he said, laughing at his little joke.

We left and Paul drove me to the nearest chemist. I handed over the prescription, and we popped into a small café for a tea while we waited.

"Thanks for coming with me, you didn't have to," I said.

"I did, you'd have never gone through with it."

I laughed.

"I suppose so. Paul, you only met me yesterday, why are you doing this?"

He took my hand.

"Look, Josie, I don't know where we are going with this, but for some reason our paths crossed, and you met a need of mine last night. You make me feel like the man I have always wanted to be, and you need me. I want you to be the girl that you so obviously are, and if we have a future as a couple, then fine, but if not, we can at least be there for each other for a while.

"I have no expectations and make no demands of you. I find I have strong feelings for you, and I want you to be happy. I know I can help you through this time, and as I said, you make me feel good about myself," he said.

He made me want to cry again, and I kissed him.

"Thanks, I do need you, and I have feelings for you too. I think I have been so wrapped up in myself for so long, I am not very good at sharing feelings, so please forgive me."

"Tell me about it. I know exactly what you are going through," he said.

I collected my medication, and we had a walk in the park.

I felt completely at ease with my arm looped through his, and I realised that I had been living as a girl in public for the longest period in my life, and I loved it. It came naturally.

We chatted about all kinds of things, and he steered the conversation to my parents.

"You will have to tell them," he said.

"I know," I said, rather crossly.

He chuckled.

"After the surgery tonight."

"No way!" I said, shocked.

"Why not? It will be out the way, and you can he honest and open."

"Oh God! Paul, I can't," I wailed.

"Okay, we will talk about it later. Time to go."

An hour later, I was still numb between the legs. It was six o'clock, and the doctor had been right, as it had only taken him a few minutes. It actually took him longer to sew me up than to remove what was left of my testicles.

They were both shrivelled up and useless.

I had watched, fascinated, as he did it, and he explained it all for me as he went through it.

I had no feelings of attachment or loss as he removed them; rather, I felt this was one step towards my goal.

"Look, I can just do something for you, as a temporary cosmetic thing, if you like?" the doctor asked.

"What?"

"Well, if I tuck your small penis back here, and fold over the skin of the empty sac like this, and stitch here, here and here. It gives the appearance of female genitalia. It looks like a vaginal opening, and would pass cursory glance. You can wear normal clothes, go swimming and all that sort of stuff. You obviously can't have sex, and you must wash thoroughly. You will have to pee sitting down, obviously."

"I have been for the last year, anyway."

He did what he showed me, and it looked brilliant.

I grinned at him, and he tidied up and told me to get dressed. I took a denim skirt out of my bag, as the jeans were too damn tight in the crotch.

He sat there and looked at my legs.

"I find it hard to believe you are a boy," he said.

"I'm not, really, now am I?"

"No, I suppose you aren't. Look, Josie, you really must tell your parents. If you want me to be there when you do, I may be able to help explain things to them."

"Thanks, but I must try and do this myself. I have been putting it off for so long, but I don't think I can put it off any longer."

"Well, you know my number if you or they need to talk."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"You know, and this is me talking again, not your doctor, I actually thought you might be having such difficulties some time ago, but couldn't broach the subject, for obvious reasons. I really believe you are doing the right thing, and I know you certainly look like a very pretty girl. If you do now, then you should get through this with fewer problems than most. I must warn you, the path you have chosen is not an easy one, as you will have a very tough time ahead, physically, mentally and emotionally. You are very lucky to have a boyfriend who seems to understand."

"Yes, I know, and he really does understand. He's great."

I left the office and found Paul in the waiting room.

He laughed as I walked over to him.

"What?"

"You're walking like John Wayne in a skirt."

I hit him and he laughed.

"Sorted?" he asked.

"Yes, one step closer."

He took my hand, and we left the medical centre.

"You drive," I said, and gave him the Mini keys. He opened the passenger door and I got in, gingerly. I was still numb, but it was beginning to wear off.

"Where to?" he asked.

"I suppose I have to tell the folks."

He looked at me.

"Are you sure?"

"I can't hide the truth any more, can I?"

"Not really. Do you want me to come in with you?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

He drove in silence for a while.

"You ought to repair your make up, you've been crying," he suggested.

"Oh fuck, I forgot. I'm sort of new at this shit," I said, and he chuckled!

I looked at him, and nothing in his appearance and demeanour suggested he had ever been anything other than a male. I told him, and he smiled.

"Thanks, I always need to hear that," he said.

I put the interior light on, and repaired my makeup. I put on a little more than usual, as I think I thought it would help. God, I was screwed up.

He pulled up into the driveway.

"My God, what a house. Your parents must be pretty damn well off, then?"

"Maybe, I think it has been in the family a while. Dad is a senior lecturer at the University, he's not really into material things, but we are reasonably well off, I suppose."

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm fucking not. I can't do this, Paul."

"Yes you can."

"I can't."

"I did it, and they didn't take it well, I knew they wouldn't, and I still did it. It is positive only in that once done, you never need worry about it any more."

"Fuck!" I said.

"Josie, you have to do it."

"I know. Fuck it."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. "Paul?"

"What?"

"Can you come in with me? I really don't think I can do it by myself."

"If you want me to."

"I want!"

He got out of the car, and it started to snow.

He opened my door, and I got out, and shivered.

"How are your bits?" he asked.

"Tender. The feeling is coming back." I said.

I stared at the front door.

Paul was just waiting for me.

"Okay, lets get this over with," I said and went for the door. I felt physically sick. I opened the door, and we went in.

"Joe, is that you?" said my mother from the kitchen.

"Yes, Mum. Its me, and a friend," I said.

She came out wiping her hands on her apron. She looked at me and went very pale.

"Oh, dear God, Joe?" she asked, her voice breaking.

"Yes, Mum. Look, this is Paul. I need to explain a few things."

"Joe, why are you dressed like your sister?"

"Is Dad home?"

"Yes, he is in his study," she said, looking at Paul for help.

"Then I think I need to speak to you both," I said.

"Oh Joe, you look like a pretty girl," she said.

"I know. That's what I must talk to you about."

She was on the verge of tears, and so was I. I was about to crack up, and Paul took my hand.

"You are doing fine. Hang in there, you can break down afterwards," he said to me.

"I'll get your father," she said.

I went into the drawing room, and stood by the window, watching the snow fall onto the lawn.

"Good God, Joseph, what the hell is this?" father asked, as he came into the room. Mum was behind him, wringing her hands in worry.

"Mr and Mrs Fortune. My name is Paul Gardner, I am a friend of Josie's, and this is something which needs to be explained, and I would ask you to be very understanding so she can tell you."

"She? Josie? Joseph, what is this?"

"Dad, please just shut up and let me explain. Look, this isn't about you, or anything that you have done or not done. I am one of those people born into the wrong body. I have known since I was four that I should have been a girl like Jessica. Well, I can't live a lie any more, and I am going to have to live as the person I have always known I should have been.

"I know this is tough for you to understand, but it is even tougher for me to actually experience. Honestly, I have tried to be a son to you, and I can't do it any longer. If you never want to see me again, I will understand, but I am telling you that you are going to have another daughter, and that I still love you.

"I would love to go through this with your love and support, but I do understand that you may be ashamed of me, and want nothing to do with me. This is the hardest thing I have done in my life, so I need to tell you the truth.

"I have been living part of the time as a girl, and have been on medication to arrest any male development. I have seen Doctor Simpson and he's prescribed hormone treatment for to so I can develop fully as a woman. I anticipate further surgery to make me as near a woman as they can make me."

I paused for breath.

My dad was just standing there, whisky glass in hand. The grandfather clock's tick sounded very loud in the corner.

"You said - further surgery?" Dad said, his voice unnaturally quiet.

"Yes, I have already had cosmetic surgery on my genitalia. I was castrated, and the appearance of a vagina was created," I said, sounding very apologetic, my voice was on the edge of breaking.

Dad walked over to the drinks cabinet, and poured himself another whisky.

He turned and faced me.

"What do we call you? I would feel somewhat foolish calling you Joseph," he asked, not unkindly.

"Josie. It is short for Josephine."

He nodded and took a large mouthful of whisky. He looked at Paul.

"I'm sorry, young man, my manners have evaporated, whisky?"

"No thank you, sir."

He nodded.

"This is a rum do," he said, and looked at my mother who was sitting on the sofa with tears sliding down her cheeks. I was almost there as well.

Dad went and sat next to his wife, and put his arm around her shoulders.

He looked up at me.

"Come here girl," he said, and I ran over and soon he was cuddling the two of us, both with tears streaming down our faces.

Paul turned to go.

"Young man, don't go. If my daughter wanted you to be here, then you'd better stay."

Paul smiled and sat in the easy chair, looking as if he was about to cry too.

I don't know how long we sat there, but eventually Dad broke the spell.

"Well, I have been prepared for the announcement that you were gay for a long time. I suppose this is better," he said, and I was taken over by the giggles.

"I think I have always known," Mum muttered. "I just hoped you'd grow out of it."

"I think, I'd like that whisky, if that is all right," Paul said.

Dad got up and went to the cabinet.

"Anyone else?"

I shook my head, and Mum moved across and put her arm around me. She looked at my breasts.

"Are they, um, you?"

"Some, but not all. Soon it should be," I said.

Dad handed Paul his glass, and turned and looked at me.

"You look a damned site better as a girl as you did as a boy," he said, and I smiled weakly.

"Thanks, I think."

"So, there is no way back?"

I shook my head.

"Even if there was, I wouldn't go."

He nodded.

"Its funny, as one reads about these things, but never appreciates that it could happen in one's own family," Dad said.

I just looked guilty.

We sat in silence for a moment. The clock was making the only sound.

"This is all very hard for you. Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Dad asked.

I looked at Paul, and he smiled.

"I didn't want to hurt you. I thought I could deal with it, but it just took over too quickly."

"You are a fool, Josie. If you ever thought we would disown you, or stop loving you, then you don't know us very well. We might find it hard to come to terms with, but looking at you, there is no doubt that we have another daughter, so welcome to our family, Josephine."

I burst into tears again, and gave them both a hug.

"Does your sister know?" Mother said.

"Yes, she has known for years. I think she has known since we were very young, but certainly since she caught me dressing in her clothes when I was about twelve."

"Oh. How difficult this must be for you."

Dad looked at Paul.

"So, young man. I am sorry, I have forgotten your name?"

"Paul Gardner, sir."

"Where do you fit in to this, Paul?" "Josie and I are friends. She needed moral support, and I gave it to her. She helped me, and that's what friends do."

"Thank you for being there for her. I can appreciate that this must have seemed like a very tough thing to do."

"For some, the reaction can be very hostile and negative, so I understand," Paul said, looking at me. Tears were in his eyes, and my heart went out to him. I left my mother and went over to him and gave him a hug.

"Have we enough for dinner?" Dad asked.

"Yes, I think so," mother said.

"Good, then, Paul you will stay, won't you?"

"Thank you, but I should get my car. It is by the shop."

"I'll drive you to get it," I said.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking at my groin.

I nodded.

"I'm fine, and it will give them a chance to talk about me behind my back,!" I said, and Dad smiled.

We went out and I drove back to the shop.

"Your parents were lovely. You are so lucky."

"I know, and my heart went out to you, knowing how your family behaved."

"How do you feel now?"

"So much better, thanks for making me do it," I said.

"No problem. It was a privilege to be part of it."

We arrived back and he collected his car. I called Jezzy and told her to meet us at home. She was intending to drop in anyway.

I arrived home, and found Dad had withdrawn to his study, and mum was in the kitchen. I went and helped her, and she kept giving me little looks.

"Mum, are you okay with this, or do you want me to change?" I asked, aware that my appearance was probably the cause.

"No dear. I just can't believe someone as pretty as you could ever have been that little boy. I feel so guilty for dressing you in the same clothes as your sister when you were babies."

"It isn't that, it is something I was born with. It isn't anything you did, or didn't do," I said.

Paul helped and explained it a little more scientifically, although I didn't think Mum would be able to understand it.

Jessica arrived and walked in, and stopped dead when she saw me in a skirt and make up.

"Oh-my-God! You told them?"

"Yes, I told them."

"Where's Daddy?"

"In his study."

She came over to me and hugged me.

"It must have been so hard for you."

"It was, but it's out now," I said.

"I'll go check on Dad. How did he take it?"

"Quite well, considering," I said, and she went out again.

Dinner was remarkably normal, with all things considered. Dad was acting as if nothing had happened; yet he never failed to refer to me as Josie or use the female pronouns. Mum was a little unsure, and kept staring at me.

Jezzy was great, and was so relaxed that it made things even easier, and Paul was just lovely.

After dinner, I helped clear up, and it was as if I had always been a girl. Dad asked me to go to his study, and we had a serious chat about what was going to happen regarding the surgery, and how it would affect my education and such like.

"This young man, Paul. He is a good deal older than you?"

"He is twenty seven next birthday."

"So, why is he interested in someone like you, is he gay?"

"No Dad, he likes girls, but he likes me, and so we are just good friends. He has had some experience of my sort of problems, and is able to help."

"Well, I am grateful for that. Just find it odd he, um, ah, he, ah..."

"He goes for a girl with a dick?" I interrupted.

"Josie, that is crude and unnecessary," he said, frowning with embarrassment.

"But it is what you wanted to say," I insisted.

He smiled.

"Yes, I suppose it is!"

"Well, he is not interested in my dick, particularly as I may as well not have one. You can't see it anyway."

He frowned, and I felt so sorry for him.

"Look Dad, the best way to deal with this, is to let it just flow over you. I don't know what is in the future, but I promise to do nothing to embarrass you and the family. I want to live a normal life as a girl. The only thing I won't be able to do is have a baby."

He looked at me.

"A normal life?"

"As possible."

He nodded.

"Do you need money, for the operation, or whatever?"

"I don't know. Perhaps you could speak to Dr Simpson. If it is done privately, then it may be quicker. I can't see the national health being that eager to foot the bills."

"I will. He might answer some questions I have. So, you have really made your choice?"

I nodded.

"Yes Dad. There is no turning back now."

"What about your A levels?"

I shrugged.

"I don't see a problem. I can do most of it by assignment and in the workshop. I can dress suitably ambiguously so as not to draw attention to myself. As long as the college principal is aware, I should be able to finish the one last term. Not even that, as I should be finished the exams by the end of May, beginning of June."

He nodded.

"I had visions of you coming here, to Oxford."

"I know Dad, and I may still. We'll have to see how things pan out."

"What are you going to do over the next few weeks?"

"I have an offer of a break. So I will be out of your hair for a while."

"Anything to do with Paul?"

"No. He has his job. This is something else."

"What does he do?"

"He is a travel journalist. He writes books and features on all kinds of travel related matters."

Dad kissed the top of my head.

"All right. Just be careful."

I smiled and left him alone.

Jezzy and Paul were getting on well in the dining room. The way they spoke, I guessed that Paul had confided in her about her past. Jezzy was so cool about it and she thought it was really sweet. Mum was in front of the TV, and Jezzy pulled out a wad of papers.

Two hours later, having received a crash course as to how to be a holiday rep, she gave me a holdall.

"Right, in there is my ski stuff, my uniforms. The posh one is the one with the skirt, blouse and jacket, and my less formal one with tee shirt and jumper. Your passport, and company ID, and here is my Barclaycard. If you over spend, I will go ballistic."

"Jezzy, get stuffed! If I do this favour for you, you accept your lumps with grace."

We adjourned to my room, and I showed them both my real wardrobe. I actually had about the same amount of clothes as my sister, and she was utterly amazed.

She looked through them, and was staggered that our tastes were so similar.

They persuaded me to try on the Lynx Ski Holidays uniforms, and we had a hoot. They actually fitted well, apart from a shortfall in the boob department. That was the only part that we did not match.

Paul was quiet, and eventually he told me he'd better go.

"Stay if you want?" I said.

He looked at me, and then at my sister.

"I think it best that I go. Your Dad is concerned enough about me."

"Dad and mum are in bed. Stay, don't worry about it," said Jezzy.

I could tell he was tempted, but in the end, he kissed me and said he was going.

"I have to get up early, I have to be in London for eight."

Jessica left at the same time.

I was sad to see him go, but I was also very tender in the nether regions, and so it was perhaps for the best.

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