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Change to Live Part 1

Chapter 1

Ever woken up and wondered where you are, perhaps at home or on your hol's, particularly after a few jars? I guess most people have at some time but you usually quickly get your head sorted. Just sometimes though, a shake of the head fails to bring you back to reality and you really don't know where you're at or why. Well this little tale brought me to just such a point not so long ago.

Perhaps I'd better start at the beginning, or was it the end? I guess this all started several years ago on a miserable Sunday when I was between jobs. I was a bit depressed and my then current girlfriend, Sarah was away with some friends for the weekend. I was bored and moreover skint, even the bus fare to the pub was beyond my means! So I started mooching around our small house looking for something to occupy myself, after a while I found myself in the bedroom and piqued by curiosity started in on Sarah's closet.

Now myself, I've never been a particularly classy dresser, just fashionable enough to not standout in a crowd but Sarah liked to vamp it up a bit, stiletto's, revealing tops, short skirts, that was my Sarah! So as I moved along the rail there was that leather mini-dress that so enchanted me that first night and next to it the crocheted dress she wore to my graduation last summer. Each of the outfits brought back a memory of a party or 'night in' that generally cheered me up no end.

I moved from the closet to the chest of drawers to be assailed by the aroma of violets, which I always associated with Sarah. Neat stacks of panties, bras and other underwear filled each draw and while checking out how the push-up bit worked on a particularly lacy bra I realised that something was tenting my shorts! Natural enough I guess with all that silk and lace and my reliving some of those moments of passion that they reminded me of. Well I was lonely, bored and now turned on by Sarah's silkies. "I know," thought I, "lets try some of this on."

Most guys have, I guess, at some time whether intentional or not ended up wearing their partners pants or socks, and more than once in the past a hurried exit from some girls room had resulted in me wearing my girlfriends undies. This however was the first time I had considered intentionally putting any women's clothes. Sarah was much of a size with me, a bit shorter and slimmer but she often borrowed my t-shirts and even jeans so I knew hers should fit me.

To cut a long story short I put some silk panties on with a matching camisole then pulled a pale blue tennis dress on. I posed for a bit in front of the mirror, my erection obvious through the sheer silk and soon I was on the bed bringing myself off. Soon the pants were full of my seed and I lay back to rest, quickly dozing off. I awoke to the sound of the front door banging shut.

"Oh shit, I'd better get out of this stuff and dressed pronto"

Well I managed to get the dress off, but with Sarah on the stairs a quick sweatshirt and jean pull had to suffice to cover the rest. It was a narrow escape and a later trip to the bathroom ended my angst over discovery, a quick rinse of the pants removed most of my evidence and a deposition well down the laundry basket had me breath a sigh of relief. I don't know to this day whether Sarah suspected anything or noticed pants she hadn't worn in the wash. As you might guess I sure didn't bring up the subject.

Although I thought about a couple more times I never repeated the experiment, after all I had Sarah to keep my mind occupied.

Chapter 2

It was sometime later, maybe six months before I ended up in ladies wear again. Sarah's best mate Jules decided that her birthday party was going to be a costume job at 'Jump', the local nightclub. On average one of our group of friends had a themed party about every six weeks so we were all up for a bit of dressing up. The twist this time was that everyone had to suggest a costume but then Jules put them in a hat and we each had to pick one, regardless of suitability. Failure to arrive in the correct costume would result in a forfeit most likely involving nakedness and public places!

I had suggested a fairly safe road sweeper, Sarah proposed Kate bush! Well it came to picking time and everyone thrust hands into the bag and retrieved a slip, we weren't to tell anyone what we had got, I didn't even look at mine till we were walking home.

"Come on what did you get?" my Sarah demanded

I looked at the slip and my face fell

"You first"

"Ok I've got doctor"


"Come on what have you got?"

"Looks like I'll need some of your help, I got Kate Bush"

Well, Sarah just fell about in hysterics.

"You could just take the forfeit"

"Oh yeah, look what happened to Paul last time"

I should explain here, Paul pulled the forfeit and had to run starkers through Sainsbury's.

"You sure? I mean we could swap and no one, oh bugger we can't I already told Jules what I picked"

"Looks like I need to get a leotard then"

I decided to make the most of it, after all while I wouldn't have chosen it, I could have pulled Cleopatra.

So it was that the next weekend I found myself dressed in one of Sarah's unitards with a fussy lace dress on top, strappy sandals and a bubbly wig. My girlfriend had done my face and we agreed that although I wouldn't fool anyone in daylight, I could pass as a girl in the club and as Ms Bush for the party. I have to admit that I did enjoy the evening, I soon lost my reservations and even did a KB karaoke!

When I saw the photo's a couple of weeks later I couldn't believe it was me, while not exactly a Vogue model, I did look quite convincing as a girl if not as Kate! When I mentioned this to Sarah she looked at me oddly for a minute then surprised me.

"I have to admit that I was a bit turned on when you were dressed up"

"Me too to tell the truth"

"Do you fancy doing it again?"

"What? The fancy dress?"

"Well sort of, I mean we could really dress you up"

"As a girl?"

I have to admit at this stage that I was getting a bit hard down below.

"Yeah! Ooh even better, we could get you all dressed up and go to Fi's party and see if anyone guesses who you are."

"I'm not sure about that"

"Oh go on, we can say that you can't go but I'll take my cousin Madeline. Oh please say yes"

"If I agree, what in it for me?"

"You get me"


Well I never said I wouldn't did I!

Chapter 3

Sarah was really taking it seriously. She rang Fi to convey my apologies and get my new alter ego Madeline on the guest list. Then she drew up a list of stuff to organise, we had three weeks to get sorted and as a bonus due to Easter I wouldn't need to sign on either which Sarah insisted might be just as well. That evening Sarah chaired a strategy meeting.

"If this is going to work we have to make everyone really believe in you as a girl. Are you really up for this?"

"Well I don't exactly have a full calendar and I reckon the reward will be worth it"

"Ok, but it needs to be all or nothing!"

"Look, you're in charge, do whatever you think"

"Ok then, until the party you're my cuz Maddie, so starting later you dress like her and only answer to Maddie or Madeline, we'll start your transformation right away and I think we're in with a chance of pulling it off."

"Alright cuz, where do we start?"

"Bathroom!" I won't bore you with all the detail but with not a little fun I took my first steps toward womanhood, assisted by razor and legwax. By late evening Maddie was truly born and when Sarah insisted that Maddie wear one of her chemise to bed I realised just how serious she was on this course. It being Thursday night I would have three days to get to Sarah's first objective, that is at least look passable.

So it was that on Friday I stayed in doors wearing as fate would have it the same tennis dress I had tried on some months before as well as the strappy sandals and a suitably stuffed bra and panty set. At this stage I didn't try to disguise my equipment, Sarah promised a solution tonight! I quite quickly got used to the low heels and bare legs, the 'boobs' took a little longer but by lunch I felt comfortable enough relax some and had a bit of a jig to a few cd's.

Sarah returned from work a little late but with a couple of bags of stuff from M&S and Boots. After a ding (microwave) curry she set about showing me what she had bought.

"Ok, I know you could wear my stuff but I think you need at least your own undies. I've got you a couple of pairs of firm control briefs and a 'build up' bra, there's some control top tights (pantyhose) and a night dress."

She held each item up, the underwear was not so much pretty as functional but the night dress was similar to Sarah's own that I borrowed the previous night with spaghetti straps and lace trim in a pretty butterscotch. Opening the other bag I got the low down on its contents.

"First up we'll dye your hair, as a blonde you're gonna look great. Hair remover specially for your face, basic slap so you can practice, body lotion and lastly some panty pads"

"What do I need those for?"

"You'll see, but first lets turn you into a ravishing blonde!"

"If you insist"

An hour later my normally mousy brown shoulder length hair had become 'Baby Blonde' and Sarah was busy turning it into a more feminine style with a cute fringe. Then she set about my face and in particular my facial hair, the end result being one sore face but with very ladylike brows and the loss of my beard for 'up to a month' or so the packaging reckoned. I already had two piercings in one ear; Sarah deftly gave me matching holes in the other and declared enough for tonight.

Saturday morning I barely recognised myself in the mirror, I was starting to look quite cute. Sarah gave me instructions on how to best hide my lower gear in the control pants and using fillers and a bit of me I realised breasts with a modest cleavage. With the addition of a denim skirt, vest top and Sarah's clumpy Kickers I was ready for my first outing as Madeline, a trip to the solarium.

Sarah explained on the way that although she was planning on giving me an all over tan this first session was going to be laying some groundwork for later. So it was that I found myself being cooked while wearing strappy sandals and a bikini. I also got to wear a couple of rings and a narrow bracelet.

When we got back home, my mentor did my nails, toes first then fixing the falsies on and finally painting them all the current fashion of a slightly trashy red. If this was going to work one thing I needed was a few deportment lessons and so the rest of the day I spent standing, sitting, walking, bending, and in short practising being a girl.

Sunday came around and we spent the day between more deportment and sorting out make up, I would need to be proficient enough to do hair and make up repairs at the party. As you can no doubt guess it started out as fun but soon that changed to chore so that by late afternoon both of us were a bit fraught. I could though manage a passable bit of slap application and I was walking, if not ladylike at least much less like a docker. As Sarah was at work on Monday she organised my programme that evening and got everything ready.

Day three for Madeline was to be more practice, not just make up, hair and moving but getting used to wearing heels and tighter clothing. Not just that but although I was in reasonable shape, Sarah insisted that I do her aerobics programme every day, to sharpen my figure a bit. My 'breasts', Sarah insisted would be sorted today, but as she insisted I stay tucked even for the aerobics, I was feeling a bit bruised down below at the end of the day.

When my girl got home she had obviously been shopping again. This time a pair of court shoes with a three-inch heel and a mystery package. After dinner I was introduced to Molly and Mabel, my new breasts! Sarah explained that the breast forms were designed for women who had lost their own through cancer and as such needed to be pretty realistic. We could use them as cup fillers or, and Sarah seemed overtly keen on this, we could stick them onto my chest using a special adhesive and I would always have them while we going through our charade. Well the promise of much sex that night had me agreeing to the glue and after a shower, Sarah gave Madeline her breasts.

There was no way now that I could leave the house as me without wearing baggy clothing, even then my now 36B chest still seemed to poke its way out. Tuesday and Wednesday went much the same way except for another solarium trip on Wednesday evening again with the bikini and shoes. When we got home I realised what Sarah was up to, naked I clearly now had a tan pattern, only usually seen on the female of the species, strap lines pale breast and panty areas. Well it would convince me!

Another couple of days and I was confident walking in the heels and tight skirts, my jiggling breasts felt more like part of me and the aerobics were doing their job too. I found myself copying Sarah's mannerisms, hair flicking and twirling and though I say so myself I reckon I could pass in a crowd. However I needed to pass close up.

Chapter 4

Saturday and the start of Madeline's second week of existence and Sarah decided we needed to go shopping for what I would wear to the soirée. However we needed to get away from home so that we not inadvertently spotted. I wore the same skirt and top as the previous week but with my heels.

We drove all the way up to Peterborough; we were very unlikely to meet anyone we knew that far from home. Although I knew I looked ok, I still felt like everyone knew I was in drag but Sarah assured me that she and any remotely attractive woman got the 'looks' most of the time. After she told me that I felt more comfortable and my girlfriend picked up on that with some delight.

"Great, you're really acting very natural now"

"I still feel a bit conspicuous"

"Don't worry, we'll have a drink then start looking for your outfit."

"You're the boss for this escapade Sarah"

"Right then Maddie, pub then dress"

I had to forego my usual pint for a more ladylike rum & coke, then another. After the third I was feeling quite relaxed just as Sarah had planned, unbeknown to me she already had ideas about quite what I was going to wear.

I have been clothes shopping with Sarah and other girls quite a few times; well you sometimes have to for some peace, so I knew Sarah's usual game plan. Check out all the stores quickly then go back to agonise over that skirt/dress/shoes/top etc before moving onto the next item that had been spotted.

This time we were shopping for Madeline, me, and so we went on a slightly different tack. As Sarah explained, as I had no wardrobe to start from, we needed to start at the skin and work out. I had been marketed as her country cousin, so I couldn't wear anything too chic, although I still had to look good not trashy. We hit M+S first for my undies; a pretty lace set in lilac, a new control pant that with a bit of needlework would be hidden by the lilac pants. On a sudden whim Sarah added the matching garter belt and a pair of black nylons.

Despite my relaxed state I was a bit concerned at this last but my partner in crime insisted it would help in our deception.

Well rather than bore you with an afternoon of trawling the shops of Peterborough, I will cut to the purchases. We ended up with two outfits and another two pairs of shoes with a matching clutch bag for each. I picked the first set, a two piece in cornflower blue consisting of a sheath dress to mid thigh and a matching jacket. It looked good on and went well with the new ivory courts.

The second outfit was Sarah's choice and I thought a little adventurous for this charade. It was a dress in a very silky, very shiny, purple material. That's doing it an injustice, it had a halter neck, was completely backless to the waist, a revealing slit ran high up the front and the two halves of the top only joined below the navel. It was to say the least revealing, I felt naked when I tried it on! Quietly I thought Sarah had picked it out for herself as it would fit her too but I kept that idea to myself.

Until today at the back of my mind I could always pull out but having made a considerable dent in our savings with these purchases, I decided to throw myself into the character more fully. We stopped to eat on the way

"I thought that if I turned chicken on this caper I could pull out, no harm done. But we've made a financial commitment of not a small amount today and I know that I have to be Madeline for the party, not just act like Madeline but really be Madeline from the inside out"

"That was quite a speech. You do know I still wouldn't force you to do this?"

"I know but I feel more committed after today. Is there anything that we can work on to really make me your country cuz?"

"Well I guess we need to work on your voice for one and we really should work up some sort of history so we don't get tripped up but you've managed to convince everyone today."

"But today's not a party, what about party skills, dancing, smooching god forbid and that sort of stuff."

"I hadn't thought of that, yeah we can work on all that, I guess it's the little things which will could give you away" "Right now that's settled lets get home, Maddie needs her beauty sleep!"

Having missed the solarium on Saturday we had a session on Sunday, afterwards I really did look like I was just back from Spain. We spent the afternoon working up my life story from the infants all the way through school and then college where just like Sarah's boyfriend I did a journalism course (which I wasn't very good at!). I was visiting Sarah prior to going to Canada as an au pair. We kept the detail as close to the truth as possible just changing places and names. It wasn't foolproof but it looked like it might work.

Chapter 5

That second week we stepped up the intensity somewhat so that by Thursday I was confident enough to go out on my own. I hadn't told Sarah but I decided that for myself I really needed to see if I could do it. It was clear by the time I had got to the town centre that I was convincing enough. I'd borrowed Sarah's long denim skirt and a loose jumper and wore Sarah's pink trainers. I spent a couple of hours doing 'girlie' style shopping and returned home a little lighter in the purse but now really convinced that I could do it.

When Sarah got home I just had to show her my purchases.

"I went shopping today"

"As Maddie?"

"How else?"

"What are you hiding, your nose, you've had it pierced!"

"It just seemed like something I would do, but I thought Maddie would have this too."

I lifted my jumper to reveal my now be-ringed navel.

"Uuugh, you didn't get anything else, like a tattoo?"

"Course not, just a few bits of jewellery"

I showed her the neck chain with Madeline engraved on a plate, the thumb ring, bangles and cute rabbit ear studs.

"What do you think?"

"I think for a bloke you think too much like a girl. I demand similar thought on my birthday!"

With that we descended into an evening of debauchery.

The rest of the week and over that last weekend we continued to refine my performance so that on Wednesday with just three days to Fi's party on Saturday night, Sarah declared that I was almost too good.

"I f you were any better you would be too good to be believed. You can fix your hair and makeup, dance, walk, sit, and even eat like a girl. Without looking in your panties no one would suspect a thing. We need to decide which outfit you'll wear, hear me out."

She motioned me to silence.

"I know you prefer the sheath dress but I think we should really leave everyone in no doubt that you are who we are claiming."

"You mean the 'not there' dress?"

"Yes I do. It will do several things, show off that navel ring, reinforce the image of pert titties and your fading strap lines will be on view. They will be a good conversation point, I mean no guy is going to have them after all!"

"I won't say yes until we've tried it although I was starting to come to that idea myself."

I got a huge hug then I started to dress.

Well I would certainly turn a few heads, I looked hot! Sarah had me practice walking and sitting in it and after convincing myself that I could keep my modesty I relaxed enough to enjoy the feel of the skirt on my stockinged legs and the way my unsupported breasts jiggled as I pranced about. I could see from Sarah's eyes that she was delighted too. With that settled we could only wait till Saturday and the party.

To move the plot along Fi's party was a rip roaring success both as a party and for Maddie. No one doubted for one minute that there was any skulduggery afoot, I was quickly accepted into Fi's circle of girlfriends and a good night was had by all. Maddie acted just the same as the other girls, chatting, dancing, flirting with the guys (that was difficult as most of them were mates and copping a snog during the slow dances really tested my resolve).

By the time we left in the early hours Sarah was brimming with pride at the success of her plot. The only thing we hadn't decided before was whether to tell anyone else afterwards.

"I don't think we should tell"

"Why not"

"Well it would mean we couldn't do it again and I kind of enjoyed it"

"But after all this effort don't you even want to tell Fi?"

"If we did that Mad, everyone would know within a week, you know how she can't keep a secret."

"But it seems such a waste if we don't brag of our success."

"I know, but after some of your snogging tonight are you sure you want the guys to know who Maddie really is?"

"Er when you put it that way you might be right."

So we left it at that. I returned to being Mark on Sunday and whilst it had been fun being Maddie for a few weeks it felt good to not pretend anymore.

Maddie didn't disappear altogether, over the next couple of years she visited a few times and no one ever did work out that Mark and Maddie were never anywhere together.

Maddy Bell 22.08.02 © 2002

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