Chapter *11.10*

Lily The Pink

When we returned to the Hotel car park, first order was to rack the bikes in the trailer after which we held our debriefing – in the bus as it had started to rain.

“Right then,” Caro ended the discussion, “ let's take a look at the real thing.”

I'm sure the others did more riding this morning but I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. We drove around the course, Caro giving a running commentary as we went. A couple of times we stopped for a bit more discussion.

“Look up the road, can you see how it bends to the right? If you clip the corner back here you'll have to correct your line about fifty metres further on and possibly again before we set up for the next corner. If we turn in later at a shallower angle it's actually faster as we'll be holding a straighter line for longer. Everyone okay with that?”

“So instead of the best line here we get a better line later?” Laura queried.

“That's it, if we take the corner in isolation the first line would be better but we need to connect the corners so we might need to concede time on a corner to gain valuable seconds on the exit and any following straight.

Okay then, Josh, where we do we head to next?”


And so we proceeded to break up the circuit into small sections connected by sometimes unexpected lines avoiding sharp turns as much as possible to keep a constant flow. It was after four when we pulled into the car park again to find the bedraggled lads waiting for us.

“Wondered where you were?” Steve stated, “Josh lad, give us a hand with the bikes please.”

“He knew where we were.” Caroline muttered to herself. “Anyone need the lav's make use now, we'll be leaving as soon as the trailer's loaded.”


I learnt long ago to take advantage of any stop; you never know when the next chance will be, so I followed the others into the hotel to use the facilities. My shorts were feeling a bit icky so I took a cubicle and after half undressing to get out of my bibs sank onto the seat. I pushed my gear down so I could release my bladder and with a sigh let go.

‘At least they have proper toilet roll.' I mused as the flow dried up, pulling a wad off the roll. For some reason I decided to check my shammy – you often notice gung e from boils and stuff there before you feel them, oh sugar! No boils, oh no but blood nevertheless – not lots but more than enough, shit, the drain must be leaking.

A quick investigation confirmed that as the source, whilst the ‘mones are supposed to stop a full on ovulation the Doc did say this could happen, just what I need. I must've used half a roll of loo roll trying to clean myself up, this could get messy if things keep on, toilet roll won't do much of a job in stemming the flow. Sugar!


“You seen Drew?” Mand's voice enquired from outside the gents.

“Not since lunch.” Jamie replied.

“‘S'funny, he headed for the loo."

“He's no in there now.”

I didn't hear anything else as the door closed with a thud at that point. Bum, bum, bum! Wait a minute, Handy; I'm sure it's in my pocket. I fished in my jersey pockets and yes! One mobile phone. Not a good signal, still it's worth a go, I found Mand on my directory and hit dial.

“Hey , Mand, your phone's been going doo-lally.” Claire advised when she returned to the bus.

“Probably Mum, anyone seen Drew?”

“Thought he went to the loo , ” Sal suggested.”

“He did but no one's seen him since."


Bicycle, bicycle race. Bicycle, bicycle race. A digital rendition stated.

“That's Drew!” Mand stated grabbing her phone from the pocket of her tracky top, “Drew? Where are you?”

“Finally, where were you?”

“Looking for you, where are you?”

“In the lav.”

“You can't be, Jamie's looked.”

“I know, look it's kinda embarrassing, I've er got a situation.”

“Hang on, it's a bit public here.”

I could hear her getting out of the bus and walking a few steps away. ‘Don't go far Amanda, we're off as soon as Drew gets here.' Caro's voice advised before Mand came back on the line.

“You got the shits or something?”

“Erm yeah, the something.”

“Like what?”

“Er, you've not got any towels with you?”

“It's not raining that hard.”

“Geez, not that sort of towel, the sort with wings?” I hinted.


“I thought I was the dumb blonde ; to go in your knickers?”

The penny finally dropped, “ Y ou're on, no hang on you can't be!”

“Keep your voice down, I'll explain later, have you got any or not?”


“Any chance I can borrow one?”

“You can have one but I don't want it back.”

“Ha de har, anytime soon?”

“Give me a minute.”

“Thanks.” I sighed.

“So where is he?” Laura enquired.

“He's er got cramp, can't walk, I'm gonna fetch him.”

“Who's got cramp?” Caroline asked.

“Drew.” Claire supplied.

“Where is he?”

“I'll take you.” Mand stated, grabbing her bag from the seat.

“Drew? You in there?”


“That's me, I'm coming in.”


Well to cut that bit out, I was soon dressed and washing my hands free of the sticky red mess they'd acquired.

“Before we go back out, the truth now , Drew.” Caroline wasn't exactly a happy bunny.

“The Doc said it might happen, nothing to worry about honest, I just wasn't expecting it.” Not strictly true, he actually said I should stop riding for a day or two if it did happen.

“Hmm, well the docs will be checking you out back in Manchester.”


“For now you need to limp back to the bus, everyone thinks you've had cramp.”


The drive back to Lilleshall was not exactly the most comfortable, it was like wearing two pairs of cycling shorts, and despite my attempts to clean myself I was distinctly sticky down there. TMI for sure.

“Those going to the dance need to be here at reception at seven sharp.” Steve instructed.

“Not sure I feel like going.”

“You can't not go, Drew,” Mand whined.

“Watch me.”

“You'll feel better after a shower, er you need another towel?”

“Got some in the room,” I admitted.

“Please, Drew.”

“Okay, see you in the dining room in half an hour then.”


My decent stuff, whilst not dirty was, in typical boy fashion, not exactly pressed having spent most of the week squashed into the bottom of my kit bag. Still it'll have to do, I'm going for a bop not to pick up chicks after all. I was halfway through my liver and bacon casserole before Mand turned up.

“Thought you hadn't got anything to wear?”

“I don't, I borrowed this from Jess.”

‘This' could best be described as a slightly risqué concoction which seemed to be made up of a couple of acres of pink chiffon and not much else.

“You like?”

“It's er interesting.” I allowed, “Jess meeting us here?”

“Yeah, I take it you are changing to go.”

“I have, what's wrong with these?”

“You cannot be serious, don't you have an iron?”

“Not on me, it's only a church hall dance.”

“Only she says, all the locals'll be done up like dogs dinners and you plan on turning up looking like you've been run over by a tractor.”

“ It's clean.” I mentioned in defence.

“If you say so.”


Jess was going for the more mature look, arriving in an LBD that my Mum would wear.

“Hey Lily in pink! That really suits you , Mand.”

“Thanks but look at you.” Mand stated.

“Nice, tres chic,” I offered.

“You cannot be serious, Gab!” Jess gasped spotting me.

“Not you too.”

“Why're you dressed like that, I mean if you are going for the gender bending look you're failing badly, even that scotch lad looks better dressed.”

“I'm not.”

“So what's with the er blokey Miami Vice© look then?”

“They're my best trousers.”

“Pah! You are not going to the dance dressed like that, come on let's get you sorted out.”

“There's no time, it's ten to seven.”

“Geez, you've not even put on any makeup! Mand, get us like ten minutes?”

“No probs.”

“Mand!” I appealed.

“Come on, girl, let's get you glammed up, we're supposed to be celebrating not going on a grunge trip.” She stated half dragging me from the dining room.


Glammed up! For heavens sake. Hang on; we are talking Jess here, Jess who despite obvious appearances insists on calling me Gaby – sugar! She doesn't just call me Gaby, she thinks I am Gaby, that is Gaby the girl, bum, bum, bum! This is not going to end well!

to be continued....

© Maddy Bell 10.05.13

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