A costume for Max wasn't the only outfit that occupied my evening, I needed one myself. I spent an hour scouring the comics and going through what was in my closet to no avail. Hmm maybe the Internet, Ding! Ebay ® !
I tried my usual costume finding searches but was sorely disappointed by what came up. If you wanted a poorly made Sailor Moon outfit or a Bleach mask there were plenty but not a great deal else. I widened the search to worldwide, things improved but not a lot. Hmm, lets try some different searches, lets see, Gothic? Lots of black fetish stuff, not quite what I was looking for, Anju is what? Twelve?
Lets try something else, er what do they call it now, oh that's it Lolita, Anna goes on about it, yeah Gothic Lolita. I hit the search button and waited. Bingo! This is more like it, all sorts of frilly, lacy, stuff! I pulled out the latest Chibi Vampire and found a pic of Anju, boy is this stuff fussy. So armed I started scrolling through the couple of dozen pages of outfits and accessories.
Another hour later and I hit the ‘send funds' button to seal the deal. I found a place selling just what I wanted in Hong Kong, they make the stuff to order and made to measure and all for fifty-five Euros! So that's me nearly sorted, I've still got to get some other bits like shoes but at least I've started.
I checked my emails - well you have to don't you? And spotted one from an address I wasn't familiar with. That usually means its spam but the title 'Wales isn't so bad' piqued my interest. I decided to take a chance and hit open.
Greetings from not so sunny Wales! Bet you wondered what had happened to me, sorry I never answered your emails but my life has been well weird since we spoke last. But I think its all settled down now.
I suppose I ought to bring you up to date on stuff here, Ally told me about B and all that. Where do I start? The beginning I guess.
When I left Warsop to come live with Gran, as you know it was Mfanwy that came so I had to go to a shrink every week. I was living as M full time of course but they wanted to make sure it was the right thing - I mean, after they cut off your willy there's no going back is there! So anyway I was going to therapy and meeting with other TG kids once a month, things were going sparkling.
In the summer holidays Dad took us to Spain, which was well kool, but I was missing you guys. Ally came over to visit for a week, but you already know that. I guess that was about when I stopped writing you, it was nothing you said or did, it was me - you were doing all sorts of stuff and I was stuck in a dead pit village. I never seemed to fit in school, I was always the outsider - they would start rattling away in Welsh whenever I was near and you know how good I am at languages - not!
So anyway to cut a long and miserable story short, after one particularly bad day instead of going home I just started walking, I hadn't got a destination or much money even, I just wanted out. A few days later I found myself in the Sally Army hostel in Bristol, broke and broken. I guess the police were looking for me, Gran said half the village scoured the hills and tips looking for me, anyway the Warden at the hostel suggested I ring Mum to let her know I was ok.
Well I did then I took off again, I ended up in Manchester of all places. Thing is I'd kinda given up trying to look like Mfanwy, I even shaved my hair off, I actually felt better after that. I was living ruff, nicking food and just dossing about until I got caught trying to nick a sarnie in Woolworth's. To cut to the chase, they found Mum and I went back home to Warsop with her, as me, Rhod.
So anyway, I've been like seeing this shrink and I've realised that the whole Mfanwy thing wasn't about me wanting to be a girl but about wanting to please Mum and maybe Gran. That doesn't mean I don't like dressing up still, I do, its part of me, but being Rhod is part of me too. It's confusing I know.
Anyhow, Woody has said I can go back to WC so I'll be rejoining the gang, what I wont be doing is rejoining the Foresters! Mad say's you're coming over in the summer, it'll just like old times eh.
Catch ya later
Geez! Well that's a turn up for the books I never thought I'd see Rhod again and now its Em who seems to have disappeared. It makes my trials and tribulations seem positively non-events. I'll have to send a reply of course but I need to get my head around everything first. What's next?
Just to inform you that we will need your attendance at the formal opening of the new Dernau fitness circuit as detailed below. The committee will supply suitable attire for the event.
It went on to list the date and times of my expected appearance, which a quick check of my calendar proved to be free. Bum, no getting out of it, I just hope that I don't end up wearing another hokey dress. Mind you, fitness circuit sounds like some exercise thing, have to ask the others if they know what it is.
I hope your weather is better than ours; we had to cancel Guide camp because the site was flooded. Mad says she'll see if I can go to London with her instead, Ally's going and her mum, a kind of girls weekend. Looking forward to seeing Bern when she gets back
Hmm, wouldn't've minded going to London. I quickly typed a quick reply to Helen, somehow I managed to include Sunday's race but missed the Gardetanz. We usually exchange mail at least weekly so usually it's just a short message. Lest you think everyone back home is forgotten, as I don't mention them that's far from the truth. Ally and Mad, well Helen too of course, keep me up to date with things Warsop side.
Mum generally rings Aunt Carol and Gran every week and of course the rents often talk to Bern's rents too. Dad runs interference with British Cycling of course, it's a bit weird when you get the Comic nearly a week after it comes out! Now where was I? Oh right, Rhod. Hmm, wonder if Bern knows any of this?
“So he's not this transgendered thing then?” Bern stated.
“He did make quite a good girl though.”
“Yeah.” I agreed.
“Not as good as you though.”
“I do have a kinda built in advantage.” I sighed.
“Yeah well it's not your fault that I'm as much girl as boy, inside and out.”
“I know, but,” she shrugged, “you know?”
“Yeah.” I allowed, I did indeed.
“So what are you gonna reply?”
“I dunno, I'm not sure how I feel, well a bit p'ed that its taken him so long to contact us and I bet the others knew ages ago, after all Warsop is hardly the biggest place is it.”
“True.” Bern stated.
I took another swig of Zero® and contemplated my nails for a bit. Its strange how things work out I guess, there's me, what the term, that's it, Intersexed but wishing I was just an ordinary bloke. Then there's Rhod who thought he wanted to be a girl but turns out he really just likes wearing the clothes.
“We're a right bunch aren't we?” I chortled.
"So?" Max demanded after cornering me as I left the bike shed.
"Er sorry Gaby, its just that you know its a bit kinda embarrassing."
You don't know the half of it!
"You got the measurements?"
"Here." he slipped me a piece of paper.
"Okay, I'm gonna need some money up front."
"Well there's shoes, socks."
"How much?" he interrupted.
"Tomorrow okay, I don't have that with me."
I thought he'd baulk at that so he took me by surprise.
"Er sure." I allowed.
"You won't make it too, you know, girly will you?"
"Trust me, you won't be laughed at."
It had of course crossed my mind to get him into some uber frilly outfit but I wouldn't have liked it done to me - well Mad has pulled it on me, more than once!
"Where's Gab?" Steff's voice enquired.
"Schtum!" Max put his finger to his lips.
"Coming!" I called out, "I dropped my bag."
Max made his escape while I headed out to intercept Steff and the others.
"You alright?" Con asked.
"We thought you were talking with someone." Anna supplied.
"You must be hearing things."
I'm not sure they believed me but no one pursued the matter.
"How are you doing Bernie?" Gloria Pilsen asked her youngest charge.
"Okay Gloria, it's been a bit active this week."
"A lot." Bern sighed.
"Well that's good, maybe you have a footballer in there!"
"How about you Gaby? Annafrid tells me you had a busy weekend."
"Tell me about it, I'm knackered still." I admitted.
"Well I suppose we'd best get started." Gloria suggested, "we seem to be a bit light on numbers this week."
Looking about that would be an understatement, apart from me and Bern tonight's Antenatal class has only attracted three other expectant mothers and I guess fathers. Its a bit weird really, I mean I must admit that I wasn't that keen to start off but over the weeks I've actually come to enjoy these low impact exercise sessions. Of course Bern does extra sessions at home, Jules often partners her on those sessions.
"And rest. Okay everyone, we'll finish there for this week."
I wish my training sessions went as quickly as an hour of antenatal classes!
"I'm gonna miss coming here when you go home." I mentioned to Bern as we waited for the Ahrtal Express to go home.
"Yeah, I suppose I'll have to find someone else as a partner too."
"I think commuting might be a bit extreme even for me!" I joked, "I'm sure one of the girls will go with."
"Maybe I'll ask Helen."
"So what were you talking to Max about this morning?"
"Max? This morning?"
"Don't try denying it Drew Bond, we all know you were talking to him, Pia saw him creeping out the back of the shed."
"Its a secret."
"Ooh, do I detect some romance?"
"Give over! In his dreams!" shitza.
"Promise you won't say anything?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
"You're not a Guide." I noted.
"Stop prevaricating and get on and spit it out."
I took a breath, "he asked me to help him with his costume for the dance."
"Is that all? I thought it was going to be some juicy goss."
"You won't tell anyone will you?"
"Its not that newsworthy, loads of guys are getting help."
The train chose that moment to arrive, happily truncating the conversation.
to be continued....
Maddy Bell 08.10.09 © 2009