Chapter *6.30*


“So like you've got some extra bits?”

I thought I'd said that already.

“I just said.”

“That is just weird!”

I knew it was a mistake but I had to tell someone.

“Its not like I've got two heads you know.”

“So you could get up the duff?”

“Er yeah, in theory but its not exactly likely, not without divine intervention.”

Bern was clearly going over this new information before saying more but further musing was disrupted by the arrival of the Express.


“Hi Gaby, not seen you for a while.”

“Er hi Myleen, did you meet Bernie before?”

“We weren't introduced.”

“Bern this is Myleen, Myleen this is Bernie my friend from England.”

“Welcome to the Ahrtal Bernie, don't let this little minx lead you astray.”


“Only kidding Gab.” Myleen chuckled.

“Geez you're easy to wind up.” Bern added.

I guess I am.

“Everything okay?” Dad enquired when we got home.

“Yes thanks Uncle Dave, I'll get to see the baby next time.”

“See the baby? Oh you're having a scan.”

“The midwife is Anna's mum.” I dropped in to the conversation.

“I knew Frau Pilsen worked in healthcare, so she's a midwife eh?”


“Anyone fancy eating out tonight, say Italian?”

We ended up in Remagen, in Trattoria Alfredo just off the main square; we've been before and quite liked the place. The attraction for me was that I was unlikely to see anyone from school here, well not unless I'm really unlucky!


“Oh hi guys.”

I swivelled about and sure enough Kat had just come in the door.

“What are you doing here?”

“And its nice to see you too Miss Bond.”

“Sorry Kat, er this is Bernie, you know from England.”

“Hi Bernie, nice to meet you, I'm Kat by the way.”

“Hi Kat, your Dad with you?” Dad enquired.

“No, I'm staying over with a girlfriend in town and I got the job of collecting our food.”

“Whilst I think about it, are you free to help with the team two weeks Saturday?” Dad asked.

“I think so, I'll confirm with you when I get home tomorrow Herr Bond.”

“Eine Hawaiian und eine Pollo?”

“That's me.”

Kat darted off to the counter to collect her take out.

“Night everyone!”

“Bye Kat.”

“Night Kat.”

I was saying?

The rest of our meal went peacefully enough, I had Tortellini, Bern went for bog standard Spag bol and Dad had Cannelloni. There's one thing with pasta, it fills you up good and proper!


“So what're you up to Drew?” Bern enquired from my door.

“Making Dad's birthday prezzie.”

“What're you making?”

“I'm trying to make a model of Stonehenge but I'm not doing right well.”

“Lets see?”

Bern scooted down beside me.

“Doesn't look very Stonehengey, what is that stuff you're using?”

“It's supposed to be for modelling rocks on model railways.”

“Well I don't think it'll work for what you want, you need some sort of clay, make the rocks then stick them together.”

“Er you wouldn't like give us a hand?”

“What's it worth?”

“Gott! You're as bad as Jules!”

“I was only kidding, course I'll help, we can go to the Art store after school tomorrow.

“Thanks Bern, I was on the verge of giving up.”

“So what're we doing tomorrow?” Brid asked at Friday lunchtime.

“Well duh! The Spa.” Pia mentioned.

“I forgot about that.”

I wish I could.

“Remember to bring your cozzies.” Anna instructed.


“So like what's this Spa place like? What'll we do?” Bern enquired.

“Its sort of like a gym but without all the exercise machines.” I suggested.

“There's like a sauna and Jacuzzi's and a swimming pool.” Steff pointed out.

“And you can get like all these special treatments.” Pia enthused.

“We'll have to pay for them P.” Connie noted.

“I thought it was free?” Nena queried.

“Only for the normal stuff.” Steff told her.

“Ah well, I was hoping to try the hot mud.” Nena sighed.

I stayed quiet, last time I did get the works – which of course is why we're going again tomorrow, my ‘makeup' isn't showing much sign of fading and its been nearly three weeks now.

“What's that you're reading?” I enquired seeing Bern engrossed in something.

“The free paper.”

“Anything good in it?”

“Not a lot really.”

“‘Bout par for the course.”

“There is a bit about Thesing's.


“Looks like one of those journo ads, cute uniforms!”


I grabbed the paper off her to be faced with my worst nightmare, not just one but two full colour photo's showing me and Con in those ridiculous maid outfits.

“Oh shit!”

“Aw, I think you look sweet.” Bern giggled.

“We'll be a laughing stock.”

“Not much you can do about it now.”

“Guess not,” I sighed, “you gonna give me a hand with the er stones?”

“I'll be up in a few minutes, there's something I need to do first.”



I'd decided to make Dad's model to the same scale as the castle I got him for Christmas and I've spent quite a while and no little effort drawing it all out and so on. I've even downloaded a load of pictures for guidance but that model rock stuff was pants.

I opened the packet of modelling clay and started kneading a small lump of the grey material. I was soon engrossed in the job and I nearly bit my tongue at the cough from the doorway.

“Geez Bern, I didn't hear you there.”

“You were quite wrapped up in that.” She noted perching on my bed.

“Why are you in your dressing gown?”



“I was trying on my swimsuit.”

“Right. And?”

“Well look.”

She stood up and opened the housecoat.


“What am I looking for?”

Now I've seen Bern in a cozzie loads of times and this week with a lot less on and as far as I could see there was nothing to see.

“Dreww! I can't go tomorrow, I look horrendous.”

“Where exactly?”

I really couldn't see anything wrong.

“My stomach, its huge.”

“Coulda fooled me.”

“Look.” She turned sideways and okay she wasn't quite as trim below the waist as I recall but not what I'd call fat.

“Oh come on Bern, that's hardly fat is it, you shoulda seen me in that pregnancy thing, I was huge!”

“Oh my god! It's the baby, its showing!”

“You okay up there?” Dad called up.

“Yeah, don't come up.” I replied in a half panic.

“Alright, supper's at ten.”


“Sorry Drew, I sort of flipped a bit.”


“I can't go tomorrow, everyone will see, they'll all know.”

“Don't be so daft, they already do know and anyone who doesn't well they aren't important.”

“I dunno.” She pulled her dressing gown back on.

“It'll be fine,” I soothed, “we'll worry about that tomorrow, if I can do it you can. I mean I've got to wear a swimsuit and I'm a boy, if anyone is gonna attract attention it'll be me not a very slightly pregnant woman. Now are you helping with this or what?”

With a sigh she joined me at Stonehenge central and we set to on our 4mm scale model of a pile of stones 400 kilometres away in Wiltshire. Bern's a dab hand at this stuff and by supper time we'd made all the stones, we just need to bake them now – preferably when Dad's not around!

Maddy Bell 10.02.09 © 2009

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