Whatever Next?

by Angharad ap Gwilym

(A Gaby fanfic based upon the characters created by Maddy Bell)

Part 6

“Your father is coming around to the idea,” said Jenny, sitting once again on Drew's bed. “He will insist on some conditions, so if you want to go, you'll have to agree to them.”

Drew was lying with his back to her, clutching bunny, as he lay in a foetal position. “ ‘kay,” he said very quietly, he still felt upset about the whole business and wished he had died. If he had met Meadows and been killed it would all be over now, bar the shouting. Instead he had to endure the misery for some time, perhaps a long time. He suddenly thought, Maybe to the end of my life! Could it go on like this for ever? He gave an involuntary shudder.

Jenny felt his movement and asked if he felt cold. If he did, it wasn't a physical thing, it was inside him, deep inside he felt like a freezer, it was so cold. “So you need to speak to Ally and Bernie and Rhod, I suggest you phone them when you calm down a bit.”

What? his brain flashed up, what was she prattling on about, and what has it got to do with the rest of the gang? He realised he hadn't been listening to her, so occupied with his own internal dialogue, he had missed what his mother had said.

“Then there's Maddy and Carol to ask, and I think Jules wants to go as well. I'm not happy about it, but I think she'll explode if we try to stop her.”

Jenny gabbled on but Drew seemed unable to listen, his own thoughts were dominating his communication channels and he needed to clear them first. He pretended to be asleep while the voices inside his head chattered on and his mother did the same, he tried to reach some form of oblivion. He began to do what he did when he couldn't sleep, to imagine a favourite ride and fill in as much detail as he could.

He remembered being out past Cuckney but not much else. He awoke feeling cold and stiff and it was quiet. He rolled over on to his back and he was alone. He sighed and started to think about his problems again.

“What did she say?” asked Dave.

“Nothing much, she fell asleep while I was talking to her.”

“That's a great help,” Dave moved his arms in frustration, throwing them up towards his shoulders.

“Sorry darling, she's probably exhausted, it's been a very tiring day for everyone.” She hugged her husband and kissed his cheek, “Thank you for allowing her to do what she wants.”

“I'm far from happy about it, but I do have loads to do with the house. What are you going to do?”

“I haven't decided yet, I need to talk with George and the rest of the team.”

“I suppose you could carry on racing, if that's what you both want. Gaby and you, I mean.”

“Dave Bond, you are a wonderful man,” she said hugging him tightly and kissing him again.

“Well, let's face it, Jules is gonna be drooling over her young man, I'm busy with the house and we're gonna need all the pennies you can raise from Germany.”

Jenny hugged and kissed him again, this was more the sympathetic and supportive man she had married. She knew she was demanding, she always had been and he tolerated or pandered to her. She knew how lucky she was in all sorts of ways and first and foremost amongst her ‘blessings' was Dave. He was her rock and she loved him dearly.

“I'd better go and see if Gaby is awake,” Jenny said as she broke the embrace with Dave and headed towards Maddy's bedroom.

Drew was laying on the bed staring at the ceiling, immersed in his own troubles. He didn't hear his mother enter the room until she touched his leg, whereupon he screeched and jumped off the bed.

“I'm sorry sweetheart, I thought you saw me come in.”

Catching his breath, he gasped and said, “Mummy, you frightened me for a moment.”

Jenny offered him a hug which he took. She thought back a year or so, he wouldn't have jumped like that then, was it the stress of becoming Gaby more officially that made him jumpy, or his fear of Meadows? Surely he wasn't frightened here, amongst the family? Maybe he was. Things were not going to be easy for sometime, but how difficult and for how long remained to be seen.

Drew felt his racing heart calm down to more normal activity, the adrenalin was switched off and he felt more relaxed. He hugged his mother, wondering how long she would be around. Part of him wanted her around full time, another part wanted her to defend her titles. He didn't know why, pride in her as his mother, national pride, envy? He truly didn't know, but he did suspect he wouldn't give up something as precious as a world title, easily.

The way his body was developing, he could have difficulty competing at national or international level as a boy or man. But then, if he competed as female, that would bring it's own problems dealing with officialdom and the publicity. There was some Canadian girl, who'd been a boy and who competed internationally, she'd faced some flack from other riders from what Drew could recall. He thought it was downhilling, rather than road racing, which in itself was a sport for those with strong kamikaze tendencies. He felt quite sick as he thought of belting down a hillside on a rough track, skidding past trees and bunny hopping over ditches and bumps. It wasn't for him, too unnecessarily risk laden. Road and track was dangerous enough, with occasionally riders being killed while training by drivers who claimed not to have seen them. Coming off a bike at speeds in excess thirty miles an hour means serious injury is likely, possibly death, so track racing is also potentially dangerous too.

“What are you thinking about?” asked Jenny, because Drew was so quiet.

“Erm, nothin' much.” He paused then thought he'd better say something, “I was thinkin' about my rides if I move.”

“I'm sure there's a road club somewhere down there, Matt will know.”

“Yeah, ‘spect so.” He paused again, “Will it make any difference that I'd be riding as a girl?”

“I'm not sure Gabs, depends on who you're racing I suppose. If it's against a mixed field, I don't see why it should. I'll try and speak to Caroline some time and ask her advice.”

“Thanks Mum,” he hugged her tightly.

“I suspect any club will grab you with both hands when they see what you can do.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“They'll already know what you're capable of from the races you've had there, so I'm sure if we make enquiries through Matt, they'll be pleased to have you however temporary the membership will be.”

“Yeah, ‘spose so.”

“Gaby, you don't sound too excited about all this, you kept on about wanting to go, is there something you're not telling me?” Probably loads , thought Jenny, Teenagers, who'd have ‘em?

“Nah, nothin' much, just a bit worried about a new school an' bike club an' thin's generally.”

“Well you'll have Harry to train with; I'm hoping he'll help to keep an eye on you.”

“Muuuuuuum, I feel like his unpaid baby sitter now.”

“Gabs, that's a bit unfair. He likes you a great deal and I know he'll help to make you feel welcome down there.”

Oh yeah, thought Drew, he'll make me welcome all right, too bloody welcome!

“Anyway girl, get yourself smartened up, we're meeting the others at the King's Arms in half an hour, so do a good job, eh?”

Jenny went off to sort out her own toilet, and Drew stood holding bunny feeling a little bemused. “Well, Bunny old thing, looks like you'll be going home soon.”

Drew eventually chose a skirt and top and after a bit of eye makeup and lip gloss, he went downstairs where Dave and Jenny were waiting for Juliette. “Where's Jules?” he asked.

Dave looked at his watch and then back at Drew, “You tell me,” he said, “You're the new girl on the block and you work faster than she does.”

“Sometimes,” cautioned Drew blushing, “Shall I go and find her?”

“Better ‘ad,” said Dave and motioned Drew off towards the stairs.

Drew knocked on the door then opened it, he heard voices. “Yeah, what d'you want?” she held the mobile she was using to her chest.

“Dad is doing his crunch waiting for you, hurry up!” he gave her a snotty look and went back down. Jules arrived downstairs a few moments later.

They all piled into the car and in a little over ten minutes were approaching the Kings Arms Hotel. As they parked, Drew recognised the Peters' car, the occupants were obviously already within the restaurant.

As they walked across the car park, Drew reflected upon how comfortable he felt in skirts, whereas a year ago, he'd have been terrified. How times change! he mused.

“Hiya Gabs,” called Maddy and rushed to embrace her cousin, “Are you okay?” she asked more quietly.

“Yeah, I'll be okay,” whispered Drew back to her, “You coming back south with me?”

“I have a choice?” said Maddy accusingly.

“Course y'do,” said Drew a little surprised. He expected difficulties with Carol or his grandmother, but not Mad. Suddenly his plans were looking less concrete and it worried him. He wasn't a great planner, his strength was adaptability and to have an outline plan to work towards but go with whatever happened in between. So far it had worked in life as well as in his bike races. If and when the unexpected happened, learn from it and don't let it catch you twice.

“We'll talk later,” hissed Maddy as they sat down at the table.

They made their choices from the menu which, while not the most exciting cuisine, did offer more exotic foods than the cottage pie Drew opted for, and the others did make full use of it.

Drew was quite reserved during the meal, eating it daintily, more by dint of lost appetite than being ladylike. He left about a quarter of his meal, which Jenny noticed but decided that he'd had enough questioning for one day, so she said nothing. It did concern her and she suspected he was worrying about something. She decided she would try and discover what it was later.

“What was the outcome of the family meeting?” asked Carol.

“We've sort of come to a decision about a couple of things, which we thought we share with you when we go back, if that's okay?” replied Dave.

Maddy caught Drew's eye and poked out her tongue at him. Normally, that would cause some form of reaction, tonight it didn't. Maddy began to wonder what was going on inside Drew's head. Normally she could read him like a book, but since he'd been ‘doing' Gaby fulltime, she found it harder and harder. Gaby is becoming the real person here and my Drewbie is disappearing, how do I feel about that? Uhmmm, not sure, we need to talk. I don't particularly want to go back to Dorset, but I can't let her go on her own. Oh poo, this gets messier by the day. Is this about school or is it about that looney? We need to talk and what's in it for me?”

“Anyone for pud? Gabs, Mad, John?” asked Dave, but there were no takers. He puzzled, Why isn't Gaby having a sweet, they have several of her favourites? I don't think she ate all her main course either, is she sickening for something? “Want some ice cream Gaby?”

Drew shook his head, eating was not something he fancied at all. Jenny stood up and announced she was going to the loo, did Gaby want to come as well? Drew didn't, but the way he was asked he thought he'd better. Maddy was going to go, but decided it might be better to wait.

“You feeling all right Gaby?” asked Jenny, “You look very tired.”

“Yeah, I'm okay, just a bit tired.”

Jenny offered him a hug, which he accepted and then began sobbing again. Rather than press him, she decided just to hold him. Another diner came into the loo and saw the mother daughter embrace and asked, “Everything all right?”

“It's fine thanks, she's on….you know,” said Jenny with a knowing look and the other woman nodded and rolled her eyes. They waited until the intruder had left.

“You okay now?” asked Jenny.

“Yeah,” sighed Drew, “It's all been a bit much, that's all. If I go to this new school, what about uniforms?”

“I don't know Gaby, why, is it bothering you?”

“Will I have to wear a skirt?”

“I don't know, I'll try and find out some things before you start, so we can minimise the problem. Does it bother you wearing a skirt?” said Jenny being well aware he was wearing one as they hugged and looked comfortable in it.

“Sometimes,” he said and hugged her tighter.

“Want to know a secret?” said Jenny whispering in his ear.

“ ‘kay,” he said back quietly.

“Your dad says I can defend my titles. It isn't certain yet, but…you know.”

“I'm glad Mum, I'm really glad.” He hugged her tightly again.

They repaired his makeup as best they could and went back to the table. It was obvious from his red eyes he'd been crying and Maddy threw some inquiring looks at Drew which he decided to ignore. He was tired of all this mess, it would have been so much easier if he'd died.

The journey back to the Peters' house was passed in silence, at least in the Bond's car. Drew was nearly asleep when they parked up, Jules had been listening to her personal stereo and while Dave was eaten up with curiosity about what had happened in the toilet, he decided he'd wait to find out.

Back at the house, a larger clan gathering was agreed to decide what next from the first meeting. Jenny and Carol produced cups of tea and Drew sat quietly in the corner and dozed.

“Gaby wants to go back to Dorset. We've agreed to this in principle but in practice it needs to be discussed with the rest of you. I feel it needs at least two adults to go with her. Jules obviously wants to go too, but we'd like to ask Maddy if she might go as well?”

“Which two adults?” asked John, thinking of his work.

“We thought Carol and Mum, might go in the beginning and the rest of us as when we can.”

“How long is all this likely to take?” asked Josie.

“I don't know,” said Dave shrugging his shoulders.

“Is this because of the school problem, or the Meadows affair?” asked Josie trying to work things out in her own mind.

“Both,” said Jenny; “Gaby seems very concerned about attending school here and has asked to go back south. As she is adamant about it, we felt we had to agree to it, with some conditions.”

“Of course,” nodded Josie.

“I don't know,” sighed Carol, “I'm not sure I want to go again, away from John and my home.”

“I understand,” said Jenny, “it's a big commitment. I have to go back to Germany whatever happens, to talk with them about my contract and stuff.”

“We need the money Jenny gets in sponsorship, to redo the house properly. The insurance covers the big things, but there's a lot of personal property that won't be covered and we'd like to make a few small changes to the rebuild. So I'd like to let her race again, but we need your help and I know we'll never be able to repay the debt.” Dave felt very uncomfortable laying his cards on the table, yet he felt he'd get more help from his extended family by doing so, than by any other method. It was quite a gamble.

“What would happen if they stayed here?” asked John, “Surely, we can resolve the Gaby and school thing, after all there are laws against discrimination and bullying?”

“On paper yes, in practice it's impossible to stop it. Were not talking about sensible adults but packs of hyenas, called teenagers. Sooner or later it would get out, if it hasn't already, and Gaby's life would be a torment with possible violence.” Jenny blushed as she said this, despite her best intentions as a teacher, she knew at student level, it was a total jungle.

“Well you know better than I do,” accepted John, “What about Meadows, or whatever that maniac is called? Can't we protect the children here better than two hundred miles away?”

“I don't know,” admitted Jenny, “Gaby seemed to think the police in Dorset knew him better than anyone, and therefore stood a better chance of catching him.

“They didn't do much of a job, did they?” said John sarcastically, “Maybe our local bunch could do better.”

“They haven't so far, assuming he's actually up here,” suggested Dave.

“Have they linked him to the fire?” asked John.

“Not really,” said Dave, knowing that they hadn't ruled him out either. “All we know is that it started just inside the front door and it looked like an accelerant had been used.”

Jules blushing very deeply said,” Dad, is an accelerant like, like spirit ‘n' stuff.”

“Yes, anything that's easily flammable, like petrol and spirit based fluids, why?”

“We had a delivery of paint stripper and white spirit, the day we went down to see Drew, I mean Gaby.”

“What are you trying to say, Juliette?”

“Well remember you were gonna, like, redecorate Gaby's bedroom for her while she was away…”

“I'm well aware of that, so?”

“Well the guy from the DIY place brought it round just before you phoned and asked me to pack for you, ‘n' I left behind the door. I'm sorry Daddy,” she burst into tears and rushed over to hug him.

“It's okay Jules, it's okay, but we will have to tell the police and insurance companies about it.”

“Oops!” offered John, thinking it could prejudice a payout for incorrect storage of flammables. The money from Jenny was going to be more necessary. “Could it have gone up by itself?” he asked after a pause.

“I honestly haven't a clue,” admitted Dave, “I suppose it could.”

“So we don't even know if this Meadows guy is here or not. For all we know he could be in South America by now.”

Dave said nothing but shrugged his shoulders, he didn't have any answers.

Drew was roused from his doze by his mobile phone peeping to indicate a text message. He took it out of his little bag, while the others were still immersed in their discussions.

He read the text: Hi, heard about the fire, was in the paper. Anything we can do, the olds send their luv, H. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. PS would luv 2 talk 2 U.

He wondered how he could tell Harry that he, Drew, wanted to return but the rest of them were complicating the issue.

While he was absorbed by the text message, wondering if he should reply to it, the discussion had gone on apace. Suddenly, his father was calling him. “Gaby, your Uncle John was asking you a question.”

“I'm sorry,” said Drew blushing, “I was thinking about something else, could you say it again?”

“Course,” said John feeling a little irked by the child, after all it was because of her that all this was happening, “I wanted to ask if you thought the local school would ever allow you to integrate as a girl?”

“You mean would they accept me eventually?” asked Drew, feeling his blood pressure and heart rate rising, just thinking about this issue.

“Before or after one of them kills me?”

“Come off it Gaby, they'll all be falling in love with you; it's not as if you don't make a convincing and very attractive girl.”

“Did you hear about Jason Bissett?”

“No, who's he?” asked John.

“His family moved away.”

“I fail to see what this has to do with your case,” protested John.

“Jason was a top soccer player, always in the school team.”

“I'm still waiting to see what all this means, Gaby.”

“After seeing the school counsellor, he told one or two of his friends he thought he was gay.” John looked at Drew as he was talking, now he had a horrible feeling he knew where this was going. “It got out, some of the boys started calling him names, fag, poof, queer, shirt-lifter, arse-bandit, and lots more even worse. Then one day after a soccer game, one of them accused him of coming on to him. They beat him unconscious, he was in a coma for three weeks.”

“Was nothing ever done about it?” asked John his face registering his discomfort in talking about violence and homosexuality, two of his least favourite subjects.

“I heard about this,” said Jenny, “some of the boys were cautioned but no charges were ever made. All the perpetrators backed each other up, and even some witnesses not involved agreed with them.”

“I know Jason, Mum, he's not the sort to do any such thing, he'd be far too shy,” said Drew, feeling angry. Once again no one was listening to him, they all preferred to stick with their own preconceptions.

“I'm sure you do, Gaby, but I'm telling you what the official investigation discovered. The boy had made overtures to one of the other boys on several occasions. It seems he made some overtures in the showers, and…”

“That is total crap, Mum, why won't anyone listen to me?” Drew stormed out of the room and up the stairs.

Maddy made stealthily for the door and slipped up the stairs shortly afterwards.

Jules, who had her own agenda was forced to participate in defence of her sister, “It's right Mum, what Gabs said, the kid was set up just ‘cos, they like knew he was different. Everybody in the school knew about it except the staff and then the cops.”

“But that is all rumours Juliette, and we all know how wrong they can be.”

“It wasn't just rumours Mum, I heard girls talking who were going out with some of the boys who did it. I know what they said was true, it was deliberate not a rumour. They had threatened to kill him earlier, they nearly got away with it. I heard he was like brain damaged after the attack.”

“Yet more rumours, Juliette.”

“Geez Mum, no wonder Gaby wants to leave here, she is terrified she'll get the same and how can you lot protect her, you don't even listen to her?” Jules left on that dramatic note and went off to text more love messages to John.

Meanwhile, Drew was curled up on the bed with Maddy sat alongside him. stroking his hair and neck. He didn't want her to talk but he knew she would, he also didn't want her to stop stroking him, it was so relaxing.

“Do you really think running away is gonna solve anythin'?” asked Maddy.

“Dunno,” replied Drew from a million miles away, he hadn't really heard the question, he simply responded to the tone which he perceived as inter-rogative.

“Why d'you want me to come, keep Harry off you, is it?”

“What?” asked Drew distantly.

“Gabs, please stay awake and listen.” She stopped stroking his hair and made him sit up. “Now, tell me why you want me to come with you?”

“Why d'you think?” retorted Drew, answering a question with one of his own.

“As your image consultant?” said Maddy flippantly.

“Yeah, that'll do.”

“Okay then.”

“Well I tried,” said Drew, sinking down the bed. Then stopped and said, “What! You'll come?”

“Do I have a choice Gaby Bond?”

“Course,” he paused, then smirked and added, “not.”

Maddy sat alongside him and said, “Shift over big bum, give a lady some room.”

Drew roared with laughter and they hugged each other.

“All we gotta do next is get my mum and Auntie Josie to come too,” sighed Maddy.

“Do you think they will?”

“Not if my dad has anythin' to do with it,” sighed Maddy again.

Angharad ap Gwilym 15.04.07 © 2007
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