16. The Final Tango - 3.

I returned to the police department and went through what I had discovered with June. I think she was impressed I had managed to acquire extra details from victims who had already been interviewed. She was also a little embarrassed.

We went over the road to a small diner and had some lunch together. We watched as the Lieutenant drove off in his car.

“So, where does he go for lunch everyday?”

June shrugged.

“As long as it's far away from me, who gives a shit!”

“He's a class one asshole, that's for sure!” I said.

“Yeah, but you're lucky, you can go back to Oregon when you feel like it!”

“Maybe.”

“What do you mean?”

“I'm thinking of moving east. My fiancé is here and I guess it would make sense to settle here, particularly if I plan to join the FBI.”

“Oh yeah? Cool, but which department would you join?”

“I don't know. If I get rid of Grimble, will you take me on?”

“If you get rid of Grimble, I'll try to make you chief!”

We smiled and ate our lunch.

Later I asked Grant to take me to the centre.

“You don't need to come in, in fact, it's probably best you don't. I think whoever is doing these attacks is watching this centre and is targeting victims from here. So, take a walk and see whether you find anything.”

The Social Centre for Transgendered and Disaffected Minorities was a grand name for a rather insignificant ground floor of an insignificant building. The windows were boarded up and the large front door would be at home on Fort Laramie.

I walked in, my heels making a lot of noise on the bare wooden floor. The lobby was open, with a small office to one side. I walked over and looked into the office. It was empty, but there were two desks, each with a PC on.

“Can I help you?”

I turned and looked at the speaker.

I was very conscious of having been a boy when I was first discovered to be inter-sexed and was in actual fact a girl. I liked looking like a girl, but at the start often wondered whether anyone could tell what I was.

This woman had definitely started life as a genetic male. However, she was now sufficiently confident of her appearance not to worry about it. Her voice was deep, but within an acceptable range for a female, her dress sense and manner was feminine and understated. She had a medium bob style of hair, which was fair with some grey evident. To most people, she was female, but I wasn't most people. Her hands and feet were large, her shoulders were broad, and her face had a hard edge to it, so makeup and hormones notwithstanding, she was still obviously a post-op TS.

“Hi, I'm detective Sherri Brewster, I was hoping to speak with someone in charge.”

“I'm Grace O'Brien, I suppose you could say I'm in charge. I'm the president of the local TG Association. What can I do for you?”

“Firstly, let me explain. I'm not from the local PD, but have been brought in to assist with the attacks on TVs and TSs in the area. The reason I've come, is not just because I'm a wonderful detective, but that I was Inter-sexed so I have first-hand knowledge of various issues of which most other officers are completely unaware.

“I met with Julia earlier, and she agreed to meet me here this evening as I suspect that whoever is carrying out these attacks is targeting people who use this centre, and so he or she must know someone who either is attending the centre, or has at some time used its facilities.”

“Gosh, I'd have never guessed you started out as a boy. You have no idea how welcome it is to see someone like you on the local police department. Our experience with the police up to now has been hardly ideal. One officer in particular has been downright hostile and completely opposed to anything we initiate in the area.”

“I think I can guess who that is, Lieutenant Grimble, right?”

“That's him. You'd have thought after his son went through all his problems, he'd be slightly more sympathetic.”

“His son?”

“Didn't you know? His son was a TS. He took his own life about three years ago. It was very tragic. He came to us for counselling having been referred to us by his doctor. He'd been suffering from depression for some time, and it was discovered he was suffering from gender dysphoria. His family circumstances were very difficult, and although we thought we were making progress, it all proved to much and he gassed himself in his car in the garage at home.”

“So, his dad drove him to suicide?”

“I can't say, detective, the evidence at the inquest was inconclusive, but his father was in denial, that much was quite clear.”

“What about his mother?”

“She left the father about ten years ago. She remarried but died of cancer in Las Vegas a couple of years afterwards. There were no other children.”

“That explains a lot,” I said, thinking of the miserable Lieutenant.

“His attitude is hardly exceptional. I've even had death threats over some of the kids we deal with.”

“Have you had any really bad threats or weird messages in recent times?” I asked.

“About ten a week,” she said with a sad smile.

“That many?”

“Most are kids and fools, but every now and again we get quite scary ones.”

“Do you keep a record?”

“Sure, come into the office.”

I spent an hour with her, and as the time wore on, I grew to admire this up-beat woman who, having faced her personal demons, overthrew them and declared to the world, ‘this is who I am!'

She shared a little about her own story.

The third of six children from a poor but respectable farming family from Iowa, George knew that he was different from the start. The family all helped run the farm, so the little boy did his bit. As time progressed, he gravitated towards the more feminine chores, preferring them to the more muscular based occupations.

Her parents were staunch Presbyterians, so no aberration from the bible was permitted. Believing he was a homosexual, George prayed to be cured, but to no avail. He'd never heard of the term transsexual until one day he came across Christine Jorgensen's story.

It was a moment of true revelation, and he formed an intent that wasn't to be realised for another twenty years.

“I was drafted. The Vietnam War was in full swing and I was in the Marines of all things. Can you imagine the irony of that?” she said, with a deep rich chuckle.

“I served my time, got wounded twice, and even got a purple heart. I came home, found the farm overrun and decaying. My folks had sold up and moved west to California. Using the vets' fund I went to college and got a social science degree. I then became a counsellor for ex-military personnel who couldn't cope with real life again.

“I dressed as a girl at every opportunity and saved up for what I wanted. I even married, but she didn't get on with Grace, so it finished after a year or so. No kids, in a way, I'd have liked kids, but perhaps it is better I never did.

“I did various jobs, some overseas for the Peace Corps. Then, at forty, I took the plunge, and have been as you see me for fifteen years. I only wish I'd done it when I was in my teens. How old were you?”

“Eleven.”

“It shows. How much was male?”

“Very little. I'm fully functioning and fertile.”

“Oh, you lucky girl!”

I smiled.

“I know.”

She pulled one single piece of paper out of the file.

“This is the most disturbing note we ever got. It arrived about a month ago.”

She passed it over.

You are nothing!

You defy reason and the laws of nature!

You are an abomination and will be removed like a cancer from living tissue. You are an insult to God, mankind and nature, and will have to be cut from within!

“How many people have handled this?”

“About three. There was Joan, she opened the mail, Sylvia, who is the secretary and myself.”

I carefully placed the note into a plastic forensic bag. I always carried a few in my shoulder bag for such eventualities.

“I'll need to get elimination prints off all three of you, is that okay?”

I left there much happier. I felt I was making headway, but realised that there was an awful lot further to go. I booked the paper into forensics and returned to the office.

“Detective Brewster - get your butt in here!” The lieutenant didn't look pleased.

Leaving the door open, he immediately raised his voice.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?”

“Sir, if you persist in shouting and swearing at me, I shall take legal advice and report your conduct to the Union. If you wish to moderate you tone and tell me what you are talking about, then I shall endeavour to answer you, but I am neither psychic nor your personal slave that you can bully.”

There was a moment's stunned silence. Everyone in the office gaped at us, eyes riveted on the tableau.

He slammed the door, glaring at me.

“Why did you go to the fags' centre?”

“I went to the Centre for the Transgendered because I have a lead in the investigation.”

“You never go there, it's off limits, do you understand?”

“No, sir, I don't. Are you forbidding me to conduct valid lines of enquiry in this investigation for good reason, or are there other reasons you'd not care to mention?”

He stared at me, speechless with anger.

“If you have valid reasons for me not to conduct any enquiries at any location, then please let me have them in writing. Otherwise, I shall be forced to report your attempts to obstruct this investigation and conclude that you may be somehow involved.”

“You little …..”

“Before you say anything you may regret later, just be aware that I know about your son, and that you helped kill him. You have to live with that, but if you think that I will accept your unacceptable behaviour, then think again. Is that all, lieutenant?”

He was silent, so I turned and walked out. I left his door open; aware he was staring after me. I knew I had just made a dangerous enemy.

On the other hand, the other detectives just joined the Sherri Brewster fan club and embarrassed the hell out of me by applauding. This hardly improved my standing with the Lieutenant.

I returned to the hospital, just to check up on Chrissie. I found Matt visiting, and he grinned sheepishly. There was a young male officer on duty and he waved me through after I showed him my badge.

We sat and chatted, not mentioning the attack at all. Chrissie was eager to get her SRS over with and asked me loads of questions about my experiences. I helped a little, but was keen to point out that I was more than half way there before any surgery was necessary.

“They just tidied me up and made me right,” I told her.

After an hour, I left them and walked out to the parking lot. I just reached my car when the young cop approached me.

“Uh, Detective?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind if I ask a question?”

“No, what?”

He seemed very embarrassed and uneasy. He'd taken his hat off and was running it through his hands like a steering wheel.

“Uhm, it's tough, but did I hear that you used to be a boy?”

“Yeah, but only on the surface. I was a girl inside all along; everyone thought I was a boy. I knew I was a girl underneath, but no one believed me. Why?”

“And you're not embarrassed by it?”

“Why should I be? I'm a girl now. I have a fiancé and can have babies. I'm just happy to be whom and what I am. Why do you ask?”

“This isn't easy. I, ah, I guess I have a similar feeling. I thought it'd go away if I joined the cops, but it's still there.”

“You want to be a girl?” I asked, surprised.

“I always felt like I wasn't right. Like I should have been something else. Only recently I thought it was that I should have been a girl, but when you look like I do, it's not something you can do anything about.”

He was a big guy, six one and broad.

“How long have you been a cop?”

“Three months out of the academy.”

“Are you going back to the station?” I asked.

“Uhm yeah, why?”

“Get in, I'll give you a ride.”

I found out his name was Tom Cheyne and he was a very confused young man. I told him to go see Grace, but then an idea came to me.

“Tom, how do you fancy going undercover?”

“Huh?”

“Undercover, you know, pretending to be someone you're not?”

“Yeah, how?”

“I'm not sure. Just be ready for a really cool assignment, and one you may be ideally suited for.”

“No! Absolutely not!”

“Lieutenant, it makes sense. That way we have someone on the inside, we can stand back and watch. We'll keep constant eyeball on him and make sure nothing happens.”

“No, no one goes into that place. It's off limits.”

“Then I shall take it to the Captain!” I said, getting angry.

“You take one step out of this office, I'll have you on the next plane back to Alaska!”

“Oregon, actually, what were you taking to me, Detective Brewster?” the Captain said, entering the Lieutenant's office.

I explained my plan, and that the Lieutenant seemed to have unfounded objections to any dealings with the Centre based on personal experiences that prejudices this enquiry.

“Just what are your objections Mike?”

“I don't have to give them in the present company,” the lieutenant mumbled.

“Goddamn it!” The Captain was angry now. “Mike, you used to be a good cop, what the hell has happened? We seem to be making progress on this case and this plan could work. Now just what the hell is rattling your cage?”

Mike Grimble's face was a picture of conflicting emotions. Most of them unpleasant and if looks could kill, I'd be dead.

“Mike?”

“I do not believe that any lines of enquiry with this organisation can possibly be of any value.”

“I disagree, sir. I believe that it has everything to do with the job at hand,” I said

“If you can't accept my judgement, then I will have to resign!” Grimble said through clenched teeth.

“It would be a sad day, but leave me your badge and gun and go home!” the Captain said, holding out his hand.

Grimble seemed shocked that his bluff was called, and so readily.

Now he was stuck, his pride was too great to allow him to back down, so he reluctantly handed over his shield and his gun and walked off, glaring at me. There was a stunned silence.

“June, you're acting Lieutenant. Work with Detective Brewster on this one, I want results, okay?”

“Yessir!” said a very surprised and shocked June.

It wasn't possible to set up anything this evening, but I took young Tom to the centre. He was in plain clothes by this time, so I think he felt less conspicuous. I left him chatting to Grace while Julia and I went through the lists of relatives who had been through their various courses. No one seemed to spring out as being potentially dangerous.

Then we went through the list of TSs who had little or no support from friends or relatives. There was a surprising amount in this category, and I realised how fortunate I had been with my loving family around me. I took away a list of eight individuals who faced violent reaction from a family member or friend/partner.

Tom was in deep conversation with Grace when I returned to counselling room.

Both looked up when I entered.

“Am I intruding?” I asked.

“Not at all, come in Sherri. Tommy was just baring his soul.”

“Are you okay?” I asked the man.

He nodded.

“Yeah. I'm surprised at the relief I feel to be able to talk about it openly. It was driving me nuts, I thought I was the only one.”

“We all go through that, don't we Sherri?”

“Sure do. I kept being caught dressing in my sister's clothes by my parents. I was hardly subtle about it, mind you.”

I explained my plan to Grace and Tom. Tom looked a little shocked, but Grace just smiled and nodded.

“It makes some sense. Would you like us to help with the transformation?”

“Yeah, that would be helpful. Do we need to provide anything, like clothes and stuff?”

Grace turned to Tom.

“Do you have any clothes?”

“You mean girl's stuff?”

“Of course.”

“Uh, no. I daren't.”

“Okay. I think we'll be able to do something with some of the stuff we have here.”

“Uh, this is going to be tough for me, afterwards,” Tom said, when we were in the car.

“Why?”

“The other guys, they'll give me a hard time.”

“Not if you get the bust they won't. Look, it stands to reason a girl can't do it. You're the youngest in the department, and although tall, you will make a spectacular girl. It's not like you've volunteered for it and, if the Captain follows my plan, he'll make sure you are selected because of your youth and appearance rather than your inner desire to be a girl. No one will know, unless you choose to tell them.

I dropped him at the station and went home to Peejay with my head buzzing. A lot had happened today, and I hadn't really got a hold of some of it.

We went out for a Pizza and just enjoyed being an ordinary couple for a change. I broached the subject of moving over to this area.

“Cool, I have to admit that moving to Oregon isn't high on my list of good career moves.”

“I'll have to see about all my options. I haven't long to go for my degree, so maybe I'll be best waiting for that,” I said.

“Sherri, wherever you are, I'll be right there too. I've tried to live without you and it doesn't work. So, just make up your mind where we're going to live.”

I smiled.

“I think I'll move east.”

“Great, now I can start looking for a position with a law firm!”

“Peejay?”

“What?”

“Have you thought about the FBI?”

He stared at me for a moment.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. Why not?”

He shrugged.

“I thought about it, some time ago, but discounted it.”

“Why?”

“I don't know. I guess I thought one law enforcement officer in the family was enough.”

“Think about it, honey, we could be at the academy together and then work together afterwards.”

“Maybe one lawyer in the family is enough!” he said with a smile.

Okay, I'll move back, but we'll talk about this later, okay?”

“Sure.”

We arrived back at the flat to find Matt sitting alone in the living room.

“What's up Matt?” Peejay asked.

“Nothing.”

“Come on, you can't fool us, what's the problem?”

“Me. I don't know what to do.”

“About Chrissie?” I asked.

“Yeah. I mean I see a girl and hear a girl, but then my brain keeps reminding me she's a boy underneath. It freaks me out!”

“Does it matter what's on the outside? Isn't what's on the inside of a person more important?”

He looked at me.

“I guess. Look, I like her a lot, but I'm not sure about, you know, the physical side.”

“Matt, Chrissie doesn't even think there is a physical side at the moment. There is the emotional side, and that is her whole being. Feed that and she'll be content. In time, after the necessary physical corrections take place, you'll be surprised at how normal the physical side will be. But, if you don't help her through the emotional side now, there just won't be anything in the future.”

“Yeah, I think I know that.”

He stood up.

“Sherri, what would be the best way for me to treat Chrissie?”

“You already refer to her as ‘her' and ‘she'. Just keep doing that. She hasn't anyone else, so just be there for her, no conditions and no promises. Just go with the flow and see what happens. I think you'll be surprised as to the result.”

“Yeah, maybe you're right. Good night.”

He went off to his room and we heard the door close. Peejay grabbed me, nuzzling my neck. It sent shivers down my spine and a wave of desire hit me.

We just made it to bed, and our lovemaking was particularly passionate that night.

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