Tanya
TANGO GOLF - COP WITH A DIFFERENCE
Chapter Ten

Copyright 2004 Tanya J. Allan


This work is fictitious, and any similarities to any persons, alive or dead, are purely coincidental. Mention is made of persons in public life only for the purposes of realism, and for that reason alone. Certain licence is taken in respect of medical procedures, terms and conditions, and the author does not claim to be the fount of all knowledge. The author accepts the right of the individual to hold his/her (or whatever) own political, religious and social views, and there is no intention to deliberately offend anyone. If you wish to take offence, that is your problem.

This is only a story, and it contains adult material, which includes sex and intimate descriptive details pertaining to genitalia. If this is likely to offend, then don't read it.

Unfortunately no politicians were injured or killed in the writing of this story, and no one else was either.

If you enjoyed it, then please Email me and tell me. If you hated it, Email me and lie. I will always welcome contact.

tanya_jaya@yahoo.co.uk

The legal stuff.
This work is the property of the author, and the author retains full copyright, in relation to printed material, whether on paper or electronically. Any adaptation of the whole or part of the material for broadcast by radio, TV, or for stage plays or film, is the right of the author unless negotiated through legal contract. Permission is granted for it to be copied and read by individuals, and for no other purpose. Any commercial use by anyone other than the author is strictly prohibited, and may only be posted to free sites with the express permission of the author.



10.

Peejay met my plane at Baltimore. He was waiting by the baggage carousel and I launched myself into his arms. It was so good to see him again.

It was about 3pm, and he had a beaten up VW, which rattled its way across to where his house was. It was a tall town house in a quiet neighbourhood. The leaves on the trees were all turning brown, and there was a coolness in the air.

He parked the car outside and carried my bag for me. He had an enormous grin on his face, and I think it was mirrored by the one on mine.

The house had four big bedrooms, two bathrooms, a huge living room and a kitchen/diner. There was a basement, which was the boys' playroom, and they had a bar and a pool table as well as a games console plugged into an old TV.

His room was at the back of the house, and he took me straight up.

"The guys are in lectures at the moment, so we have the place to ourselves," he said, the smile broadening.

After we had made love, we lay cuddled together in his bed.

"It is so good having you here," he said.

"Mmmm," I said, snuggling up to him.

"So, how did you like being a detective?" he asked.

"It was okay. I didn't think I'd like it, but it was pretty interesting."

"Are you going to take the job?"

"Yes. The Lieutenant, John, has booked me into the course at the academy next month, and then I'll pick up my gold shield."

"So no more gun battles?"

"I hope not."

"So do I."

We lay there a while. I just loved feeling our naked bodies touching. He gently massaged my back, and had I been a cat, I'd have purred.

"So how long are you here?"

"I've taken two weeks off."

"Cool. The guys are a bit scared at meeting you," he said.

"Of me?"

"Yeah, they seem to have this picture of a female Robocop."

I laughed.

"I wonder who gave them that idea?"

He chuckled.

"You are up to something," I observed, and his laugh got worse.

"You know your black leather stuff?" he asked.

I had a black leather skirt, with matching waistcoat and long coat. He liked the boots that had 4" heels and came up to my knees.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Did you bring them all?"

"Why?"

"Did you?" he asked, with a sneaky grin.

"As it happens, yes, I did."

"Great."

"Peejay. Why?"

"It is just that Matt keeps going on about a character in one of his books. She is a blonde secret agent who always dresses in black leather. You'll have to see his walls. He has all these posters of blonde girls all dressed in black leather."

"Who is Matt?"

"He is just one of the guys I share this house with. He is a good buddy. But he was going on and on at me about dating a cop. So I told him you'd joined this special department, and worked in plain clothes."

"So?"

"Could you wear your leather gear tonight. We've asked a few people over for a kind of welcome to Baltimore party for you, and I thought I'd get him back."

"How?"

"Well, he spends most of the time in the basement on the computer game. So you could sort of wander in there, looking hot, and just turn his libido into jello."

I smiled.

"Little things for little minds," I muttered, and he grinned at me.

We went and had a shower together, which took a real long time. Then, exhausted, but cleaner, we returned to the bedroom.

To please him, I dressed in my black bra and panties, with stockings and garter belt. Then I wore a black silk top, with a low cut that displayed my cleavage. I put on my tight leather skirt, which had a slit up the back so I could walk, and my black leather waistcoat. It was too hot for my coat.

I tugged on my boots, and then put on my make up, making it as exotic as I could. I brushed my hair out, and saw Peejay was watching me.

"I'd almost forgotten how truly beautiful you are," he said.

I smiled, and he came and put his arms around me.

"To think we almost lost each other."

"We didn't though."

"No, thank God."

"Hey, have you thought about where we are going to end up?"

"Not yet. Once I get qualified, then I shall start looking. Why have you any ideas?"

"I don't really care. I just want to be with you."

We hugged and kissed for a while, and I heard some noises from down stairs.

"The guys are back," he said.

"You've mussed up my make up," I said, and set about repairing it.

He was poking about in my shoulder bag, and found my Glock.

"Shit Sherri. You've brought your gun?"

"Sure, why not?" I asked.

"How did you get it on the plane?"

"As a cop, I just show the badge and they put it in a special bag in the hold."

"Um, do you have a shoulder holster or anything like that?"

"No, I have a holster which clips onto my belt or skirt."

"Would you wear it? I mean, just for a bit, as a kind of gag."

"Peejay, this isn't a joke. It is a real gun, because I'm a real cop. I'm not into gags, and especially not with guns."

"Okay, I'm not asking you to wave it about, just to wear it and be seen wearing it."

"They know I'm a cop, right?"

"Yeah, the guys do."

"Meaning?"

"Some of the people coming to the party might not."

"Peejay, I am not wearing a gun for the party."

"I don't want you to, Honey. I just want to get Matt. And the way you look, he will piss himself."

I frowned but dug out my holster and slid the Glock into it, and clipped it to my belt at the back. He was watching me.

"What now?"

"Er, handcuffs?"

"No."

"Aw, Honey."

"No, for starters, I didn't bring them. And secondly, even if I had, do you think I'd let them loose amongst a bunch of students?"

He put both hands up in mock surrender.

"Okay, I give up. Just come down when you are ready, oh, and wear your shades," he said, and combed his hair and walked out.

"Damn," I said. He could be such a fool. I realised that by joining the air force, and then the police, I had missed out of this student type stage. I was quite glad really.

I looked at my reflection, and smiled. I looked pretty good. I followed Peejay, and went down stairs.

Peejay was in the kitchen, helping sort out the beer and glasses. I walked in and the two guys with him stopped what they were dong and stared at me.

"Hi guys," I said.

"Oh. Guys, this is my girl, Sherri. Honey, the tall gormless one is Harry and the other one is Rod," Peejay introduced us.

"Hi Sherri." said Rod, Harry just stared at me.

"Does he speak?" I asked and Peejay hit him.

Harry started and went red.

"Sorry, hi Sherri. You look, um, you look very nice."

"Thanks Harry," I said, and gave him a big smile, and he went even redder.

"Um, Peejay, had Matt seen Sherri yet?" Rod asked.

"No, why?" he asked, all innocently.

"No reason," he said.

I turned and walked out to the living room, and the guys could see my gun.

"Fuck, hey Peejay. She's got a fuckin' gun, man!" Harry 'whispered'.

I just smiled, and had a look round the house.

"What's in the basement?" I shouted to Peejay.

"Just Matt, and some games and stuff," he shouted back.

"Can I take a look?" I said, and this caused a stampede, as the three of them tried to get down the stairs first.

A fair-haired boy, who looked a bit like Melanie's old boyfriend Tim, was playing a computer game. He was slouched in an old sofa, and hardly looked up as we all came in.

"Hi guys," he said, not taking his eyes off the screen.

I had now got my shades on, and walked over to the bar in the corner, and was surprised. Considering this was a house shared by four male students, it was remarkably clean and tidy.

"This place is very nice," I said, and walked behind the TV.

I was conscious of the three others laughing, and so I looked round. Matt was staring at me, looking pale, and his mouth hung open. His computer games handset fell forgotten from his fingers, and I swear he started to drool.

"Hi, you must be Matt. I'm Sherri."

He vaguely nodded, and stared at my boots and then at the gun on my hip.

"Are you okay?" I asked, and again he nodded vacantly.

I frowned and sniffed the air.

"Can you smell something?" I asked, and they were all at it - sniffing and frowning.

"No, what?" asked Peejay, frowning at me.

"Cannabis," I said and looked straight at Matt.

"Have you been smoking a joint?" I asked, quite abruptly.

The colour drained from his face, and he just sat there shaking his head, and moving his lips. But no sound could be heard.

I walked right up to him, and put my hands onto his collar, and pulled him up so our noses were inches away from each other.

"Are you sure?" I said.

He shook his head, frowned and then nodded, vigorously. I took my shades off, and stared at him.

"Peejay says you like leather. So, how do you like my outfit?"

His lips moved again.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to better than that, or I'll just have to take you downtown."

"You l-l-l-look amazing," he stammered.

I smiled, and released him, letting him flop back into the sofa.

"Why thank you. Now, one more thing. I want to see your room. NOW."

He swallowed and saw his friends creased up with laughter. He frowned and looked back at me. I was not smiling any more.

"Now?"

"Now."

I held out a hand, and pulled him to his feet. I followed him upstairs, and into his room.

Sure enough, the walls were festooned with ladies clad in different styles of leather. All with boots.

I nodded.

"Okay, now I've seen it, what have you got to say about it?"

"I'm sorry?" he asked, tentatively.

I looked at him.

"Not you Matt. You!" I said turning to Peejay.

"Me?"

"Why don't you have a picture of me on your wall?"

It was too late, he was lying down laughing so much, I thought he would have an accident any moment.

I turned back to Matt who looked as if he was shell-shocked.

"I'm sorry Matt, but these SOBs thought it would be funny to play on your predilection for leather. So Peejay set you up."

"Are you really a cop?" he asked, his voice shaking slightly.

Flipped open my wallet and showed him my badge.

"Yup, I sure am."

"Um, was that news report true, the one about the two guys?"

"The two guys I shot. Yeah, it was true."

"Um, could you really smell cannabis?"

"This is a student house, isn't it?" I asked.

"Um, yeah."

"Then I could," I said, and walked out.


I lost the gun. I locked it away in our room, and Peejay locked the door. I was taking no chances tonight.

I contemplated changing into something a little more comfortable, but was shouted down by the guys. They told me that they liked my look so much; particularly as the other female law student types would not even come close to me.

I sent Peejay out to do some shopping, and then spent some time in the kitchen making some homemade Pizza, and Matt came in and put a huge pan of hotdogs on, and then chopped up about twelve onions and started frying them.

He kept giving me really odd glances, and in the end I laughed and told him to relax.

"Look, I don't dress like this often, and Peejay wanted to see your reaction, so you can stop reacting. Okay?"

"I'm sorry, but I've never seen anyone so amazing," he said, and then went very red indeed.

Harry came in with a red-haired girl he told me was called Rhona. They were obviously going out together, as she was put to work making salad. Matt wandered off to sort out plates and cutlery.

"You're Pete's fiancée?" she asked.

"Yeah, for my sins."

"I love the outfit. I wondered why Matt was drooling."

I smiled.

"Are you in law school too?" I asked.

"Yes, same year as the guys."

"I'm doing a BA in Criminal Law." I admitted.

"I thought you were a cop?"

"I am. I am studying part time. I can't afford to take time off work, and besides, I love my job too much."

"Do you want to be a lawyer?"

"I don't think so. But I figure that if I have a degree then my options will increase." I said.

"I have an Uncle who is in the FBI. They only recruit graduates these days."

"Well, that's one option." I said.

Peejay returned and dumped a box on the table. He grabbed me and gave me a kiss. Then he noticed Rhona.

"Hi Rhona, how're you?" he said.

"Okay, Sherri has been telling me about her studies."

"Yeah, she's doing well. I went with her to summer school, and she has a sharp brain. I pity any lawyer who tries to take her on in the witness box."

I took out the Pizza bases and started to put on the toppings, and stuck them back into the oven.

There was no real start time, as people started drifting in from that moment. I was in the kitchen, and gradually the party seemed to be just happening around me. Before I knew it there were about fifteen people in there, and the noise level was getting very loud.

Peejay handed me a Miller Lite, and stayed with me, one arm casually around my waist, in a rather proprietary manner.

"What's the matter, feeling insecure?" I whispered.

"No, I am just so honoured and proud of you, I just like being seen with you," he whispered back, and nuzzled my neck.

It sent shivers down my spine, and I hit him.

"Don't start that. It is way too early to go upstairs and screw," I said, and he laughed.

The timer buzzed at me, and I took the pizzas out of the oven, and cleared some space on the table. The guys cut it into portions and we put them on plates and took them into the dining room. I was amazed, as there must have been nearly one hundred people in the house. They were everywhere, and even up the stairs.

"We have no where near enough food," I shouted to Peejay.

He shrugged.

"They aren't here for the food."

I relaxed, and just went with the flow. It was actually a good party, and I found myself talking to loads of people. One person caught my eye, as at first I thought he was a girl. He had quite long auburn hair, and was quite slender and effeminate.

He was dressed in casual jeans and a sweater, but all his movements were restrained and rather feminine. It was weird, because it was as if I could identify something in him that I had once been, and I felt sorry for him. It was stupid, as I didn't know him, and he might be completely content as he was, and unaware as to his appearance, but I doubted it somehow.

I went over to him, as he was sitting on the stairs, talking to Matt. They were discussing the merits of various computer games.

Matt went red as I approached, and I grinned at him.

"Hi, er, this is Sherri, she's Pete's cop. I mean she's a cop and Pete's fiancée. Sherri, this is Chris," Mat said, going even redder.

I shook Chris's hand, and found that he even shook hands like a girl.

"Hi Chris. Another law student too?"

He smiled, and I found it disconcerting, as he really was too pretty to be a boy.

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"Afraid? Why, isn't it what you want to do?" I asked.

He blushed, and flicked his hair from his face.

"It's my Dad's idea really. He is senior partner in a prestigious law firm, and I have to fulfil a family tradition."

Matt mumbled something about getting another drink, and wandered off. I took his place next to Chris on the stairs. I noticed he was looking at my clothes, and not in the same way as most of the guys had.

"That's a shame. It is a real bummer when parents try to make you into something you obviously aren't," I said, and he looked at me sharply.

I smiled.

"Like, I was a boy for my first eleven years. But it was never going to work, and voila!" I said, and lifted my hands up to indicate my female form.

Chris frowned and looked closely at me.

"Oh, I was actually female all along, I just had to have some extra skin and stuff removed. But I do know what it is like being one thing, and knowing that deep down I was something else."

He laughed, a little nervously.

"Am I that obvious?" he asked.

"I don't know about anyone else. But as soon as I saw you, I saw a girl," I said.

He looked down at his hands.

"I have never told anyone, but some people seem to guess. I don't know what to do. There are a few gay guys who always hit on me, and I'm not into that," he said, and I sensed there was one very confused and unhappy guy/girl here. He was almost in tears.

We chatted for ages, I told him about my life, and how it had been so wonderfully changed since the operation. He shared some of his feelings, and I was aware he was afraid of releasing too much. I was, after all, a complete stranger.

I made a decision.

Come on, come with me," I said, standing up and holding my hand out to him. He looked up, a frown on his face.

"Why?"

"It is time for Christine to make her entrance to the world."

He shook his head.

"I couldn't, not here."

"Okay, you tell me one person here who doesn't either know or hasn't guessed you are a transsexual?"

At the use of that word he stared at me, and blushed again.

"Aren't you?" I asked, and he looked at his hands and nodded.

"So, live a little, and be yourself," I said, and held my hand out.

He took it and I pulled him to his feet. He was remarkably light.

I went and unlocked our bedroom door, and pulled him inside, locking the door again.

"You are so pretty, you should never have been born a male," I said.

We were about the same height, except I was bigger in the chest and hips.

"Have you ever dressed?" I asked.

"As a girl?"

"Of course."

He went red, and nodded.

"A few times, in my room."

"And, did you like it?"

He nodded.

"I felt guilty. My dad will kill me if he finds out."

"Well, your Dad hasn't been asked to the party, so strip off, we are going to make you look hot."

He took his clothes off, and I handed him some of my underwear. He slipped on a bra and panties, he knew how to tuck himself away, and I smiled as he seemed totally un-phased by my presence.

He put on some pantyhose, and I noted with interest that he had no leg hair to speak of.

"Do you shave or wax?" I asked, and he went red and nodded.

"I started shaving, but it grows back twice as strong, so I wax now."

I found a smart skirt and a tight top, and he looked very nice in them. I filled the bra with rolled up pantyhose, and he slipped on a pair of my shoes with two inch heels.

I brushed his hair out, and started on his makeup. I laid some foundation, and then accentuated his cheekbones, and then went to work on his lovely eyes. He had the most incredible eyelashes, and I was almost jealous.

I finished it off with some lip-gloss over the lipstick, and shaped and varnished his fingernails.

"Stand up."

The 'girl' stood.

She looked wonderful, very slim hips, but not excessively so, a narrow waist and a proportionate bust. Her arms were long and slender, and her hands graceful and pretty. Her legs were amazing, and the skirt was long enough to cover everything, and short enough to be sexy.

"Okay, look in the mirror, Chrissy. There is no doubt that you should have been a girl." I said, and she went and looked.

Her hands flew to her mouth, and she grinned at her reflection.

There was no sign of the boy there now, as she was 100% feminine.

"Oh my God. Is that me?"

"Yup. Do you like it?"

"Its wonderful. But I can't go down stairs like this."

"Why not?"

"Because..."

"That isn't a reason."

"I just can't."

"Stick close to me. You'll be fine." I said, opening the door.

"Sherri. I can't," she said, sounding panic stricken.

"Yes you can, I'll be with you all the way. It is time you were who you feel you should be."

I held my hand out, and she took it. I say 'she' for there was no doubt that this was a girl, in her heart, mind and soul. The physical side just needed a little improvement.

She took my hand, and we went out onto the landing, and slowly went down stairs again. No one gave us a second glance to begin with, and we simply sat on the stairs and chatted about life in college.

Matt came back.

"Oh, I was wondering where you two got to," he said, and sat down below us. Then he very slowly turned and stared at Chrissy.

I held her hand tightly, as I sensed she was about to bolt for the bedroom.

"Chrissy just needed to freshen up," I said.

Matt stared at Chrissy, his mouth open, and no words forthcoming.

"Matt, has anyone told you, it is rude to stare at a girl?" I said.

Matt shook his head slightly, and looked at me.

"She's, um, I mean, she, er, Chris, shit, Sherri, she looks hot."

I smiled, and squeezed Chrissy's hand.

"Matt, you should really tell her yourself."

Matt looked at Chrissy, and was frowning.

"Chris, I mean, Chrissy. You look really nice. I never knew," he said.

Chrissy smiled, very sweetly and shyly. She also shrugged.

"I don't think anyone knows. Except Sherri, she knew at once."

I stood up and Chrissy looked at me in fear.

"I'm going to find Peejay, you two behave, and I'll be back soon."

I left them and Matt moved up to sit beside Chrissy.

I eventually found Peejay talking to some guys next to the bar.

"Hi, Sherri," he said, and I knew he had had a couple too many. I helped myself to another Miller Lite, and he draped an arm around my shoulders.

We talked about probable cause for a while, and then Harry came over.

"Who's the babe talking to Matt on the stairs?" he asked.

This caused several to go take a look and return. No one recognised Chris, and there was some mutterings and Peejay was frowning.

"Remember Chris?" I said.

He nodded.

"Chris is really a Chrissy. So be nice, for me?"

The light bulb went on, and he grinned.

"Really?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Cool," he said, and wandered out.

P>

I followed. "Hi Chrissy. Shit, you look good tonight girl," he said, and just walked past into the other room. I stared at Chrissy. She was bright red, and had the largest grin on her face.

Someone had put on the music, and a few couples were trying to dance. Peejay dragged me out for a dance, and it was nice although somewhat crowded.

We had been dancing for about ten minutes, when Peejay nudged me, and pointed with his head. I tuned round and saw Matt and Chrissy dancing.

I smiled.

"I always wondered about Matt," Peejay shouted into my ear.

"Why?"

He shrugged.

The music changed to a slow track, and we stayed and smooched. I was amazed to see Matt and Chrissy still there. They made no attempt to kiss, but they were just holding each other quite close. They looked a perfect couple.

Chrissy met my eyes and smiled. She looked relaxed and most happy.

Judging by everyone's reaction, no one was surprised or shocked by Chrissy's revelation, and for the most part, I think everyone was relieved that she had finally come out of the closet.

I overheard two girls talking, and one said, "Finally. I am amazed it has taken her so long."

As the evening progressed, I saw Chrissy talking to several people, and everyone was supportive and encouraging. Matt was never far away, and he seemed to be frowning a lot.

I was coming back down from the bathroom, a little later, and Matt cornered me.

"Sherri. Can I have a word?" he asked, looking confused.

"Sure. I guess it is about Chrissy. Right?"

He nodded.

"It is weird, as I don't see her as a boy dressed up."

"She isn't. She is a girl, but her body is living a lie."

"Can that happen?"

"Often. It was almost the same for me, but my body was female in the end."

"Am I gay?" he asked.

"I don't know, are you?"

He shook his head.

"I don't think so. But although I know what Chrissy is, I still like her."

"Then tell her, and go with the flow. She is going to need all the friends she can. Because I have a feeling she will drop out of law school, and tell Daddy that she wants an operation."

Matt stared at me, and nodded slowly.

"She needs you, Matt," I told him.

The party progressed, and Peejay drank too much, so I put him to bed. Gradually the revellers left, or passed out behind the furniture, and I saw Matt and Chrissy disappear to Matt's room. I smiled, as I was certain they would not try anything, but they were becoming more than friends.

At 5am I crashed out next to a snoring Peejay, and was asleep almost immediately.


We arose at around noon, and spent the day tidying up. Matt appeared, with Chrissy, who was still wearing my clothes.

She came over to me, a little embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I will wash your stuff and return it later," she said.

"Okay. Say, why don't we leave the clearing up to the men and go and do some shopping for you?"

She smiled, and looked unsure.

I repaired her makeup, and she looked fine. I put on some jeans and a pullover, and my favourite cowboy boots. I wore my leather coat, and slung my shoulder bag over my shoulder. I loaned her another sweater and my short leather jacket.

We borrowed Peejay's car and drove to the nearest mall.

We had a great afternoon.

First stop was the lingerie shop, and we selected an assortment of under garments, that were sensibly sexy. I bought her a pair of silicone breast forms, and her shape was immediately enhanced. She bought makeup and tops, skirts and dresses, pantyhose, shoes and stockings. She blew a month's allowance in a couple of hours.

I persuaded her to have her ears pierced, and bought her a pair of pretty onyx studs.

We sat having a coffee, and she was wearing a denim dress that she had fancied in the last shop. My clothes were in a carrier, and she promised to wash them and return them.

I watched as she casually stirred her coffee.

"So, where are you going with this?" I asked.

She smiled, and looked about her.

Then she looked at me.

"For the first time in my life, that's twenty two years, I am who I want to be," she said, and then glanced at her crotch.

"Almost," she added. "I guess, I am going to take it as far as I can."

I nodded, a little guilty that I had caused her to come out.

She seemed to read my mind.

"It isn't your fault. I have you to thank. I should have eventually done it, but not until further down the line, and probably caused more hurt."

"Will you tell your parents?"

She nodded.

"Mom already knows. We had a long chat years ago. She caught me dressing in her clothes. I think she is aware how deep it goes, but is in denial. Dad will kill me."

"What about college?"

She shrugged.

"I never wanted to be a lawyer. Now, even less."

"What do you want to do?"

She shrugged again.

"I don't know. I guess I never really thought about it."

"I still think you could be a good lawyer. But concentrate on human rights issues. For example, for the trans-gendered and their fights for equality and a fair deal."

She frowned, as if she had never considered this aspect.

"I mean, you have a year to go. What a waste if you jack it in now."

"I guess," she said.

We sat quietly for a while.

"What should I do?" she asked me.

"One, go see a doctor, and make a start on becoming the person you want to be. It isn't easy, so go on the Internet to see the best way forward. Two, tell your parents, and see what happens with them.

"Three, tell the college that you consider yourself female, and ask to be treated as such. By law they have to respect this, and it helps with a doctor's letter of intent and clinical diagnosis."

"What do I do about my housemates?"

"What about them?"

"How do I tell them?"

"I should just turn up, and I think they'll guess quite quickly."

She smiled, and almost laughed.

"Look, Chrissy. The road is a long and difficult one. You don't have to go down it if you don't want to. You can go see a shrink, and he or she might analyse the shit out of you."

She shook her head, and smiled.

"No, I want to be a girl. So I am prepared for whatever it takes."

We went back to the car, and I drove her to her house.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" I asked.

"Could you?"

"Sure."

We went in, and there was the sound of a sound system thumping away in one of the ground floor rooms. As we shut the door a big guy in a football shirt came out. He took one look at Chrissy and his jaw dropped.

"Fuck. Hey Chris, you look better as a babe. I'd heard about the party, and didn't believe it," he said, with a grin. He looked at me.

"Hi, I'm Sherri. Pete's fiancée."

He nodded.

"I'm Gary. I have to admit this isn't exactly a surprise, as we all knew she was a little effeminate. But we never thought she would be quite so hot."

Chrissy smiled and blushed.

"How the hell are you going to break it to the old man?" Gary asked. At that moment another man appeared. He was slightly shorter than Gary, but still a jock.

"Hey, Chris. We heard about the party. That took some balls, man," he said, and then realised what he said, and all four of us laughed at his unwitting joke.

"Chris is going to be living as a girl from now on. Is that going to be a problem for you guys?" I asked.

They both shook their heads.

"It beats him dressing in secret anymore." Gary said with a grin.

"You knew?" Chrissy asked, shocked.

"Sure, not a lot goes on without everyone knowing," he said, and grinned as if it didn't matter.

"Okay, I'd better go. Are you okay, Chrissy?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded.

"I'll come by with your clothes later."

"Fine. If you ever need a chat, then give me a call."

She came over to me and gave me a hug.

"Thanks for everything. You've been wonderful."

"I didn't do much. If the girl hadn't been there all the time, nothing would have happened."

I left her renewing acquaintances with her housemates.


I found the house was almost back to normal. Couple of nasty stains in the carpet would need professional attention, but otherwise it was pretty good.

"Where's Chrissy?" asked Matt.

"She and I went shopping. She is now allowing her housemates time to get used to living with a girl. She'll be round later with my clothes. Why, do you miss her already?" I asked, and poor Matt went very red.

"I was worried about her."

"She's fine. Just give her time and space. She is going to need a lot of help over the next few months."

"Is she going to quit law school?"

I shook my head.

"I don't think so. I tried to persuade her to stay on. We'll see."

"I hope she stays on," he said, and wandered off to his room.

"Shit, who'd have thought it?" Peejay said.

"Life is curious," I said.

"Sure is. Look at me, I fancied a girly-boy for a while."

I hugged him.

"I'm a girly-girl now," I said.

"Hmm, sometimes I wonder," he said, and I tickled him.

"So what are we gonna do for two weeks?" I asked, and he got that look in his eye again.

"Apart from that?"

"I got a few plans. We are going up to the parents next weekend."

"I haven't seen them for ages. How are they?"

"Good. Dad is a full bird Colonel now, and heads up a legal department within the Air Force. I don't know exactly what he does."

"Are you going to join the Air Force, then?"

"No, I don't think my wife would let me. Too disruptive on our kids' education," he teased.

"How true. She must be a very sensible woman." I teased back.

"She is more than that. She is a veritable goddess."

I giggled at that, and kissed him.


Sure enough, Chrissy came round at seven with my clothes, freshly laundered and ironed. She stayed a while, sitting next to Matt on the settee with bad springs.

Matt was strange in her company. On the one hand he was obviously attracted to her, and on the other he was curious as to her gender confusion. In short, he was fascinated about her.

Chrissy wanted to make an appointment to see a doctor as soon as possible, and asked me if I would go with her. The guys were all in classes, so I agreed. She stayed for a couple of hours, and Harry cooked waffles for everyone for supper.

Peejay and I went to bed quite early, as we were quite tired. We just held each other for ages. I still had the occasional flash-back to the shooting incident, and it was nice having him there. I was able to talk to him and knew that he wasn't connected in any way, so it made it easier.

I was worried that the whole incident had changed me, and he simply kissed me and told me I was just as strange as always.

The weeks passed too quickly. Peejay and I spent as much time as possible together. When he was in class, I did a little shopping, and just had some time to myself. In all the recent years, I had not had time just to mooch about and reflect.

I found I didn't like it much.

The problem was simple. My mind harked back to all my memories, some good, but mostly bad. I lived through the shootings several times, and it bothered me. I thought I was through with that, and yet I kept seeing the second man's head through the back of the cruiser, with the glass in his hair and his sweat.

Fortunately, Peejay was out of class for much of the time, and we spent some of the time studying together, as I had brought my work with me.

Matt bothered me.

Every time I saw him, he seemed embarrassed and awkward. Until one day we were both in the kitchen, and I just asked him what was bothering him.

He went red.

"Nothing."

"Crap! You don't fool me that easily," I said.

He sat down, and looked at his hands that were clasped on the table in front of him.

"I guess I'm confused, and don't know who to turn to," he said.

I sat opposite him.

"Go on."

"Well, it started with Chrissy. I mean, we've been friends for, like, two years, right? I never had a clue he was, you know, underneath, and that."

"Go on."

"Well, we've been spending some time together, and I find I'm attracted to her, him, whatever. Now last Saturday he went and told his parents. I went with him, as he was scared and needed support, as you said. His mom was fine, well not fine, but she understood. His dad, though, man, that was something else!"

He looked at me, and I could see that the episode had deeply affected him.

"He swore and shouted at Chris, and it was as if Chris didn't matter, it was just him, and his reputation. He couldn't care what Chris was going through, he was more worried what they would say at the country club, and whether he would lose clients because of the scandal.

"I dared venture an opinion, and he even shouted at me. Chris simply went and packed and walked out with me. His mom was crying and his Dad shouted, 'I have no son!' as we left. Chris turned round and told him that in a year or so he'd only have a daughter.

"Sherri, what the hell do we do? Chris can't afford to drop out, and he can't afford the SRS procedure."

"I don't really know. It seems that his mom is the only contact he has left, and should keep in contact with her at all costs. Whether dad keeps this up is irrelevant, but as for money, I suggest that you both hang in here, and get qualified. The SRS can wait. What is a couple of years in the scheme of things. The transition can start without the expensive bit, but Chris must see a doctor, and get everything done properly.

"There are loads of support groups out there, all you have to do is find one," I said.

"I guess. I just think it is so unfair. Chris didn't ask for this, did he?"

"No. This shit comes for nothing, and unbidden!"

He was quiet for a moment.

"Sherri, am I gay?"

I looked at him.

"Why?"

"Because I know I feel something for Chris."

"Chris the girl or the boy?"

"Just Chris. Well, the girl, I guess. She is a girl, isn't she?"

"Underneath it all, oh yes. And you know, the most important thing to her right now is that you keep believing it too!"

He sort of smiled.

"Man life sucks!" he said.

I just smiled.

"Yeah, but when it gets better, it sure is great!"

"Does it get better?" said a voice at the door. It was Chris. She was dressed in a skirt and top, with a fluffy pullover and a coat. She had boots on, and I could see that Matt had a hand in buying them. She looked very pretty and feminine.

"Hi Chris, how much did you hear?" I asked.

"Most of it. You are right, I called my mother, and she is going to give me enough money to finish school. Dad has cooled down and regrets his outburst, but is too proud to call and apologise. I have made an appointment to see a doctor, and everything has started. I went to the college secretary this morning, and told them I shall be living as a girl from now on," she said, and smiled.

"That was an interesting conversation, as she didn't know I was a boy to start with. She didn't know where to look, and was so embarrassed I almost burst out laughing."

Chris sat down next to Matt at the kitchen table.

She looked at him.

"Well, am I a girl or a boy?"

Matt went red.

"Hell, you look, behave and sound like a girl, so I guess you must be a girl!"

"And?"

Mat looked a little sheepish.

"I'm sorry for talking about you behind your back. Its just I'm feeling confused about this!"

"And I'm not?"

Mat smiled.

"I guess," he said.

"What Chris is after, Matt, is what you feel about her," I said, realising that this was going to go round in circles.

Matt gaped at me, and then at Chris. He went redder still and suddenly decided that his thumbnail was required close inspection.

"I, uh, I guess, uh, I guess I like her," he stammered.

"Like?" I asked.

"Okay, I feel attracted to her. To you, Chris. No big deal. I like you and I want to be there for you. If things go further, heck, I don't know."

I felt sorry for them. We had been brought up in a society where everyone has to fit into categories. There was male and female, black and white, old and young, rich and poor. If you found yourself outside the box that was designed for you by your parents, your school, your friends or society as a whole, then you were a freak.

I know, because for the first eleven years of my life I was a freak. I was supposed to fit in the box marked boy, and I knew I didn't belong, but as hard as I tried to escape, everyone thought they were doing me a favour by pushing me back in.

I left them alone and found Peejay coming in the front door.

I took him into the living room and told him what was going on.

Matt and Chris came out, hand in hand, and said they were going for a walk. Peejay and I went out for dinner and took in a movie. I only had two days left.

The following day I went with Chris to the doctor. The woman was obviously well used to gender problems, and she was kindness personified. She spent ten minutes chatting generally and put Chris at ease, and then gently probed her with questions. It was a long session, and Chris looked at me for encouragement many times. I kept quiet, as this was her chance to really get to the heart of her problem and get something done.

I went out as she gave Chris a thorough physical examination.

In the end then doctor asked me to come back in. Then she looked at me and smiled.

"You are a good friend to come with Chris. Judging by what she tells me, you have prepared her very thoroughly. Just how do you know so much, anyway?"

"I spent the first eleven years of my life as a boy. I was inter-sexed, and with minor corrective surgery, I have been a normal girl since I was twelve."

She smiled again.

"Well, Chris isn't inter-sexed, as you know. She is visibly effeminate, and is a classic case of gender Dysphoria. We have agreed that she is to start a course of androgens and oestrogen. She tells me she is living full time as a girl, and has the college's approval. I have booked her in for psychiatric evaluation, and if all goes well, in twelve months, we shall be looking at SRS."

She looked at Chris.

"This is a long and hard road you are choosing. A lot of tough decisions have to be made on the way. You understand this, don't you?"

Chris nodded and smiled.

"Oh yes, but it will be worth it."

"I hope so, because Peejay and I want you as a bridesmaid." I said, and to my surprise, she burst into tears.


Leaving Baltimore was really tough. Peejay promised to come and spend '96 Christmas with me, as I was working. I told him again that he should be with his family. He told me, again, that I was his family.

I compromised, and agreed to come back and stay with his folks over New Years. A heck of a lot of our money was going on airfares.




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