This work is the property of the author, and the author retains full copyright, in relation to printed material, whether on paper or electronically. Any adaptation of the whole or part of the material for broadcast by radio, TV, or for stage plays or film, is the right of the author unless negotiated through legal contract. Permission is granted for it to be copied and read by individuals, and for no other purpose. Any commercial use by anyone other than the author is strictly prohibited, and may only be posted to free sites with the express permission of the author. If you enjoyed it, then please Email me and tell me. If you hated it, Email me and lie.

This work is fictitious, and any similarities to any persons, alive or dead, are purely coincidental.

I have based the tragic incident in the first chapter on a real event, and I salute those public servants and volunteers who worked so hard to manage the event, from every angle. My heart goes out to those directly and indirectly involved in the whole horrible affair, and I hope that I can, in some small way, pay homage to those who sought to bring relief and help.

I dedicate this work to the police officers, fire fighters, paramedics, doctors and nurses and all the other professionals and volunteers who give of themselves on a daily basis for the sake of others.

Mention is made of persons in public life only for the purposes of realism and for that reason alone. Certain licence is taken in respect of medical procedures, terms and conditions, and the author does not claim to be the fount of all knowledge.

The author accepts the right of the individual to hold his/her (or whatever) own political, religious and social views, and there is no intention to deliberately offend anyone. If you wish to take offence, that is your problem.

This is only a story, and it contains adult material, which includes sex and intimate descriptive details pertaining to genitalia. If this is likely to offend, then don't read it.

I felt simple relief when they'd gone. I opened the bag that Dad had brought and pulled out a small bag. Inside were some alien artefacts - Cosmetics. I pulled a sort of whirly brush on a stalk out of a tube of blue stuff and guessed it was for eyelashes. There was lip-gloss, eye shadow and all manner of weird tubs, pencils and tubes.

I found a little paper covered cardboard tube and opened it. I stared at it for ages before it dawned on me what it might be. I went bright red and put it away quickly. It was as if I had never handled a tampon before.

I was definitely confused, as I had an awareness of life and yet no memory of how I obtained such knowledge or awareness. Without thinking, I inserted a CD into the small player and listened to some music.

I stopped it almost immediately and changed the CD. After trying all the selection, I decided that my taste in music was crap. It had lots of throbbing bass rhythm and an unintelligible alien language as lyrics. I put it away again. I may not know who I was, but I knew what I didn't like!

My ribs still felt as if an elephant had stepped on me, but my headache had gone. I only realised it was there when I knocked the wound accidentally.

Surprisingly, I found it easy and, before I knew what had happened, I had finished it.

Then I felt a little panic. It was a cryptic crossword. I had managed to solve all the clues and still I didn't even know who I was. They told me I was Jennifer Adams. My mother was dead and I had met people who said they were my father and grandparents. Still, I felt like it was surreal and I was simply along for a ride.

“That's a good sign. Last time I saw you, you were unconscious. You look much better, I must say.”

“Okay. I only know it's there when I bang it by mistake. I keep forgetting. The bandage is hot, is there any chance I can take it off?”

“That's looking really neat. If we put a clean dressing on, you can leave off the bandage until bedtime. Before you go to sleep we'll put on a lighter covering, just to protect the wound, okay?”

I dug out a mirror from my bag and looked at my head. They had shaved the area around the wound and left the long hair everywhere else. It looked silly now. I said as much.

“There's not a lot anyone can do about that, I'm afraid. You'll just have to wait until it grows out again,” she said. I found out she was called Sarah and was a student nurse in her final year.

“One minute you solve a cryptic crossword and then you say you can't remember how to apply makeup.”

“I can't help it. It's just the way it happened. I didn't want to lose my memory!” I said, and felt emotions well up again.

She stayed and showed me what each little tub and tube was for. As I watched in the little hand mirror, she applied a little make up for me. It was like a whole, new world. Heck, it was a whole, new world and I began to feel that somehow, for some unknown reason, I was privileged to be blessed with being allowed to have something special.

She allowed me to cast off the rather nasty hospital gown and wear my own nightdress. It was nothing slinky, just a cotton one with characters from South Park all over it. I stared at Kenny and Cartman, and wondered how I knew their names, when I still didn't really know who I was.

Sarah brought me some more magazines, including a crossword book. Some of which had been partially completed by someone else. The tea-lady gave me some tea and a piece of fruitcake, so then I read for a while. I looked through the cards again, in the hope that something would click in my mind. It didn't, so I arranged them neatly along the windowsill next to the bed.

The doctors came round again before supper. There were three of them; one, who was a little older, was probably more senior. I didn't recognise them, but they seemed surprised to see me sitting up doing crosswords.

“Howard tells me you still don't remember much before the crash, is that right?”

“Well to be honest, we didn't expect you to pull through, so for me to be sitting here talking to you is a miracle. In my experience, this type of amnesia is temporary and you will find most of your memories will come flooding back in time. The only bit that you might not get back is of around the actual incident.”

“It feels frustrating, not knowing, I mean. I feel as if I am a stranger and even with people who tell me that they are my family. It's not a very pleasant feeling,” I said.

“I'm sure it isn't. I've asked Doctor Phillips to come and have a chat with you tomorrow. This is his field,” The man said.

“As it happens, yes. He specialises in major brain trauma cases and so he is very good at helping people remember things.”

The doctors left. I was give a light supper of a sandwich and some fruit. I ate it, but didn't feel that hungry. I had just finished when I saw my father coming down the ward. There was a younger man with him, as he got closer I saw he was more a boy really, about sixteen or so. He was quite tall, with curly brown hair, swept back and gelled. He looked as if he fancied himself. Although I thought he was quite good looking, it was the fact he obviously knew it that didn't endear him to me instantly. I hoped this wasn't my boyfriend!

“Hi Princess,” Dad said, kissing me. “You're looking even better than earlier.”

“Your Gran is taking things badly, as expected. Reg is stoic, but I know he is deeply upset as well. It gave them a real boost seeing you.”

“It's all right sweetie. I brought Mike Wallis from the orchestra, just in case you needed a memory jolt. Strike a chord?”

I stared at the young man. He grinned at me, but had an uneasy expression in the eyes.

“If it's any consolation, Mike, she didn't even recognise me!” Dad said, with a sad smile.

“I looked in a mirror and it was as if I've never seen me before in my life!” I admitted. “I have absolutely no memory of before waking up in hospital. I know how to do crosswords, I even remember the names of the South Park characters, but I can't remember anything about me or my life!”

“Nothing. I get funny sort of fleeting memories without any substance. But they seem very transient and elusive, never hanging about long enough to focus on properly.”

They both bombarded me with questions about these funny ghosts of memories and I did my best to answer them all.

“You, you're using words and phraseology far more advanced than you used to.”

“Am I?” I had a feeling of danger here. I couldn't explain it, but it was as if I was an impostor whose real identity was about to be revealed.

They drifted off the subject of my memory and chatted about anything other than me, my Mum, the crash or death. I could see Dad was struggling to keep a brave face up and wondered if he'd had an opportunity to have a good cry yet.

Two more people arrived, a man and a woman. I stared at them in the hope that a spark of recognition would suddenly enlighten me as to their identities. Mike stood up.

I said hello to Mike's parents. It seemed odd, as they so obviously knew me well. Mr Wallis gave me a box of glazed fruits and Mrs Wallis, Gina, put some flowers in a vase she obtained from one of the nurses.

They didn't stay long, as my condition made it hard to have a conversation. They left after half an hour, taking Mike with them.

After they'd gone, two nurses went to the old lady opposite me and pulled the curtain around her bed. A doctor and another nurse arrived, and there was a bit of coming and going for a while. Then a porter arrived, they put her on a trolley and pushed her out of the ward. It was quite a sobering experience.

I took Dad's hand. It seemed so odd, as he was still a stranger to me, but I had to pretend to be his daughter, for his sake.

He looked at me and very slowly his face seemed to crumple. The tears started and just fell without any restraint. It was as if a tap had been turn on. He just put his head on my bed and cried. I rested my hand on his head and waited for him to finish.

One of the nurses came past, saw us and smiled at me. She mouthed the question, ‘ARE YOU ALRIGHT?'

It took a while, as he had all that grief and stress to release. Not that this was the end of it, but he needed to get rid of this lot first. I felt detached, still, as if I was this spectator, allowed to view the world from a ringside seat. It was rather like one of these virtual reality computer games and I almost felt that if I could work out how to switch it off, I'd return to normal.

The questions just went on and on, with no answers I felt frustrated. With the weeping man I didn't know, mourning the mother I couldn't remember, I found my tears of frustration joined his and we made a right pair.

It must have done him some good, as he looked a little more cheerful once he had regained control and dried his eyes.

“Don't be silly, you've more reasons than I to feel dreadful, why shouldn't you express yourself?”

He stayed for a little longer and then told me he had to get back to see my brother Richard and his own parents. I tried to picture my brother, but failed.

“I will now. I wasn't going to before because I was told there wasn't that much hope you'd survive. My whole world came crashing down after one phone call and then the moment I saw you sitting here, looking so alive and pretty - it brought me some sunshine again!”

“I'll be back tomorrow. Ricky is still out of school, so I'll bring him in. Do you feel up to seeing Gramps and Granny?” he asked.

“They'll probably want to see me, so bring them if you feel they'd like to come,” I said and he looked at me with a strange expression.

“You. It's as if you've suddenly become someone else. You sound the same, you look the same, but you seem so much older and wiser. It's hard to explain.”

“Ah, that's what happens when you get biffed on the head and can't remember bugger all!” I said. His shocked expression informed me I'd said something I shouldn't have.

“Sorry, slipped out,” I said and grinned. I saw in his eyes that he would forgive me anything right now and my heart gave a little lurch. It was so tough knowing that he loved me so completely and I really didn't know him.

He left with a smile on his face and for that I was grateful. I had another trip to the loo, under the careful eye of a student nurse, once again marvelling at my ‘new' body. Everything was new, but with no memory, I suppose that's what you get.

They gave me a painkiller so I could sleep and I slipped off without difficulty.