I want to thank all the people that have helped me edit and critique this story. They are Angel O'Hare, Stacy Miller, Karen Page, Robi, Paula Dillon and especially Maddy Bell for allowing me to join her universe and giving me permission to write in it.
Based on the story Gaby, Book # 4 - Once Upon A Time In America By Maddy Bell
All Characters portrayed in the story are copywrited to Maddy Bell for her Gaby series found at Maddybell.com
Scene 33
Thursday (cont)
He was walking towards the diner with his head down until he came close to the entrance when he looked up and saw me looking at him. Wow, he had a swollen eye and a swollen lip. He stopped where he was, looked at me with a sorrowful look and mouthed the words ‘I'M SORRY'. He turned and walked away. I was beginning to feel sorry for him, he really didn't deserve to be beat up like that. I was thinking about running after him. He was a nice boy, if he would only give up his bigoted views.
“Em, what's wrong?” Ally asked.
“Ah … nothing Ally, I was just thinking.” Putting a smile on my face as I turned to her.
“Well stop thinking so hard, you're putting yourself out of a right good mood.” She hugged me.
I was starting to really feel bad that Dan got beat up because of me; not that he didn't deserve it; turning those guys on to me.
I looked out the window again, and I saw two people racing towards us on bicycles. When they got closer I saw that it was two girls racing, then it dawned on me, it was Gaby and Diane. Derek was close behind. Diane was shaking her head, talking with Gaby and Derek was pointing to the rear tire on Gaby's bike for some reason, saying something. When they entered the diner they were all laughing. Derek grabbed a couple of seats at the counter and ordered white tea and some coffees from Sandy.
Gaby came walking over to us.
I heard Mad exclaim, “There you are Gab. Good ride?”
“Great, you'd enjoy it Mad,” Gaby said.
Amy asked, “Where'd you get to?”
“Piedmont, Knightly and then up and round to Port Republic.”
“In under two hours?” Sabrina exclaimed.
“Yeah.”
“So you want a drink?” Brit asked.
“Diane is getting me one, thanks.”
“Diane Biggs?” Brit asked.
“Um yea, she's over there with Derek, did you remember my shoes by chance?”
“Here ya go.” I saw Brit hand over the kit bag and her trainers.
“Thanks.”
I saw Maddy whisper something into Gaby's ear and I saw Gaby blush and nod her head. She walked over to the Ladies loo. Gaby was in the loo for quite a while. When she left the loo she looked more herself and I saw her walk over to Diane and Derek.
I heard Derek say, “I thought we'd lost you.”
Gaby replied, “Just doing a quick change.” Tying her trainers.
Diane said, “Sandy? Can we get that tea now, please?”
“Sure Diane, oh hi Gaby, good ride?” Sandy asked.
“Err yes thanks.”
Ally asked, “Em, what movie are we going to see this Saturday.”
Thinking a minute, “You know I'm not sure. I don't even know what's playing. I guess we have to let that up to the guys, won't we?”
“Oh great, you can bet it will be some action flick of some kind.” Ally said sounding disappointed. “Just leave it up to the guys to do that.”
“Well, what can I say, they asked us out remember? Besides, he didn't give me a choice actually. I'm sure if the place has more than one movie screen, maybe we can still get it our way. Don't forget, his mother will be with us, and I'm sure she isn't going to go for anything too violent.”
“Oh right, I forgot about that. So what do you think about getting a date with a boy on Saturday? I never thought you would do it honestly. Are you sure you're not gay?”
“What? Ally, I'm only fourteen and a girl, what's wrong about having an innocent date with a boy?”
“Um, aren't you forgetting something?” giving me that get real look on her face.
“Huh?”
“Em, you are so dense at times. Should I mention Rhod?”
I blanched when she mentioned that. “Ah … oh … ah well, ah …”
“Yea ‘well, ah'. You seem to be forgetting something aren't you? What if he wants something more from you during the movie?”
“What? I can get up and get it for him. That's no big deal.”
“Em! You twit! That's not what I meant. I mean what if.”
“What if what? What are you on about?”
She quieted down and leaned over to me and whispered, “You call yourself a girl? Em, get with the program.”
Looking at her totally confused, she was just looking exasperated and shaking her head at me.
“What?”
“You'll find out on Saturday.”
Now I was totally perplexed. What was she going on about? What would he want on Saturday that has Ally all in a snit? I mean it is just he and I; what's so wrong about that? Girls go out with boys all the time? What's the problem? Girls and gu… oh … um … ah … I'm not quite a girl am I.
“Oh … Ally … you mean the fact that I … and um … he may want something …” Pointing down, “You mean … NAH! No way. His mom is going to be there after all.” Looking at her hard, “I mean … come on Ally … you can't honestly think … nah … it's only an innocent date.” Looking at her harder, and her face still has that stern frustrated look on it. “No … Come on Ally there is no way I'm going to let him make me get pregnant.”
Ally broke at this statement and started to laugh, she started to laugh so hard she got up and ran for the ladies loo. Everyone was looking at me and wondered what I had said to make her crack up like that.
“What did you say to her?” Bernie asked.
I realized what I had said and started to laugh myself. Bernie and the others started to look at me funny. After I caught my breath I said, “Well, Ally and I were talking about our up and coming date this Saturday. Ally was asking me what I was going to do if Roger wanted something from me. I misunderstood what it was she was asking and I told her I would get up and go get it for him. Ally just looked at me with a stern expression. Then it dawned on me what she was asking and I told her that there is no way I'm going to let him make me get pregnant.” I started to laugh again.
The rest of the gang finally got it and they too cracked up laughing. Ally finally got back still chuckling with a huge smile on her face.
I nonchalantly asked her, “Well, did you make it in time?”
She started laughing all over again.
The evening was progressing well, when Amy's mom showed up to collect both Amy and Bernie. “You girls having a good time?”
“Yes we are,” Amy answered.
“Well girls, we need to get going, supper is just about on the table and your dad will be home soon Amy, so let's go,” Amy's mom said.
“Let us get our bill fixed mom, and we'll be right with you.” Amy replied, “Sandy could you give us our check please?”
“Sure Amy, be right back,” Sandy stated.
Sab's mom showed up and Sabrina introduced her to all of us. She was a friendly lady, just like Sab was. I can see where Sab gets her good looks from and her personality.
I told her mom, “Ms. Jones it was great to have gotten to know Sabrina. She is one of my favorite girl friends. We had so much fun together when she was over in Warsop.”
She was happy with that remark and as they were walking out of the shop, I heard her say, “What a great bunch of girls Sabrina, I wish all your friends were like them. Actually I wish all the people in this town would be like them. It is so nice to see people that treat you like a true friend. That Mfanwy, I think her name was, is such a sweet girl. I'm glad I got to meet her. You didn't tell me about her when you got back from England, why?”
“Mom, just drop it please. I just forgot to tell you about her, she wasn't one of the girls we saw a lot of, like the regular hosts at the time. She came over in place of Rhod, who couldn't make it; she's his cousin. She is a real sweet girl though.”
“I can see that.” She turned around, smiled and waved at me, as she walked through the door.
I smiled and waved back. Bernie came over and told Ally and I, “See you tomorrow in school.”
I said, “Don't forget we have an outing tomorrow.”
“Oh right, I'm glad you reminded me. I almost forgot. Is this with our hosts too?”
“I don't think so.”
“Bummer. Oh well, see you tomorrow.”
I watched Amy, Bernie and Amy's mother walk through the door and get into their car and drive off.
Darla's mom showed up and the same introductions were made. Ally gave me a hug, as did Darla.
Ally said, “See you in the morning, Em.”
“Ok Ally, take care Darla, see you both tomorrow.”
After they left, Miss B showed up shortly after. “Hi girls, ready to go Maddy?”
“Sure just a minute, I have to run to the loo.”
“You doing alright, Em? You look better than earlier.”
I smiled at her, “Yes Jessica, I'm glad I came here after school, it was just what I needed to get my mind off what happened.”
“I'm glad to hear that, I was worried about you. If you feel anxious or nervous around groups, please come to me and lets talk about it ok? Don't keep it bottled up. Not talking about it causes bigger problems and can terrorize you for the rest of your life. You went through the same thing all rape victims have gone through. If you think you need to talk with a psychiatrist, I will refer you to one, and the school will pick up the bill. Do you understand what I am saying?”
“Yes Jessica, and I will let you know if I have any problems.”
“Good.”
Maddy showed up, “Jessica, do you think it would be alright if Em came with us?”
“That's up to Em. I would be glad to have her come home with us. I can pick up some quick vegetarian items on the way home and I'm sure we'll have something she'll like. What do you think, Em? Want to come home with us?”
“Let me ask Sandy, to make sure there is nothing going on tonight.” I got up and walked over to the counter where Sandy was. “Sandy, could I have a moment?”
“Sure, what's up?”
“Is there anything going on this evening that I have to be home for?”
“Not that I'm aware of. Why do you ask?”
“Miss Bell asked me if I wanted to join Mad and her for dinner tonight. You think it will be alright?”
“When are you leaving?”
“Right away, if it is alright with you?”
“Maybe that's a good thing, I have at least another hour to work yet, so that may be better for you. How are you going to get home?”
“I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure Jessica will bring me home.”
“Well make sure. I don't see a problem. I know Kevin will be upset, if I come home without you.”
Smiling, “I'll try not to stay out to late, so I can get back in time to play a few games with him.”
“Ok Em; sounds good. Ask Jessica if it is ok for her to bring you home. I'll work a little longer to make up for the time I took off yesterday.”
I walked back to the table and asked Jessica, “Would it be alright if you could drop me off at home, after we're finished tonight?”
“Sure Em, that's not a problem.”
“Cool, then there's no problem coming home with you.”
“Ok, get your things together, then we can leave.”
I grabbed my kit, coat and handbag. I walked back to Sandy and said, “She'll drop me off home, later.”
“Good, then I can put in some extra time here then. I'll call mom and let her know you won't be home for dinner.” Sandy walked around the counter and gave me a hug. “You want me to take your kit bag home and hang out the damp towels?”
“If you would, that would be fantastic. Thanks sis.”
“Ah shucks ma'am, t'was nothing, dear sister of mine.” Giggling.
I said my goodbyes to the other girls, and noticed Diane and Derek leaving, Gaby was still sitting there looking out the window, waving to Diane. So we headed out for Miss B's car.
Maddy was excited I was coming with her to Jessica's for dinner. I get the strangest feeling that she is a bit lonely being with Miss B at times, so I'm making her happy coming over.
She was all bubbly and excited. I do believe she is thinking of me as a true girl, for which, I would love to hug her.
All three of us were chatting about this and that.
Maddy said, “Em, I bought the cutest dress last night. Jessica took me to a dress shop here in town and I saw it and couldn't pass it up. I can't wait to wear it.”
“Great, you need to show it to me later. We went to the mall last night but we didn't have a lot of time to actually look around. We had to get materials for Gaby's dress she was making in Home-Ec. I kind of wish I was in that class, I would love to learn how to sew and make my own clothes.”
“ Did you hear about those boys that tried to hit on Gaby? It was so funny. Gaby didn't know what to do. She got all embarrassed and blew them off saying ‘she wasn't interested'. The boys were a bit disappointed, then they started chatting me up and we had a grand conversation. Gaby was like totally uncomfortable.”
“Well Maddy, Gaby really doesn't want to be a girl from what I understand, so I can understand why she is so shy and embarrassed.” Jessica said.
“I guess. So Em, what have you been up to, otherwise?” Maddy asked.
“Did I tell you I had a date this Saturday?”
“Do tell! Spill, who is it?”
“His name is Roger. He asked me out and I'm a bit uncomfortable with it.”
“Wow you have a date with a boy. What does Ally have to say about all this?”
“I asked him if he would mind if Darla and Ally came with us and he said no. He got his friends Sam and Matt to take them, so we're sort of triple dating. His mom is going to be chaperoning and he's taking us to see a movie. As far as I know, I'm not sure what Ally feels about all of this. She gave me some funny looks, but didn't say anything. She told me before we arrived here that if it happens, it happens, as long as I don't have a problem with it.”
“Wow, that is so wild. You're the new girl to all of this and the first one of us to get a date. Leave it to you Em. So what is he like? Is he tall? Is he polite? What color are his eyes, are they dreamy? Are you excited?”
This threw me, I never really thought of all this. I didn't know how to reply.
“Well … err … yes he is cute, he is … ah … polite. Mrs. Jones said he was a good boy and comes from a good family. Ah … well … ah … he has blue eyes, I guess they are ok, I think. Um … actually I'm a bit shocked he asked me out, to tell you the truth.”
“Why are you surprised? You are a great looking girl, Em. You are a sharp dresser; you have a great sense of humor; very outgoing and very feminine, what guy wouldn't like that? Has he tried to kiss you yet?”
Jessica was grinning, listening to us.
“Well … um … he did today. He kind of took me by surprise.”
“HE DID! Wow you really must of ‘Wowed' him, Em. He must really be in love with you if he did that. Was that your first kiss with a boy?”
At this Jessica really started giggling.
“Well yeah! I don't go around kissing boys.” Sounding indignant.
We arrived at the Foodlion Grocery Store, stopping our discussion.
“Do you girls want to come in with me?”
“Sure,” we both said.
We got some vegetables and soy meat for me, and something for us to drink. We then continued on our journey to Miss B's.
Miss B's home looked sort of like a log cabin with trees surrounding it. It was a really neat looking home, it wasn't super large, but it had two bedrooms, modern loo, living room, small dining room and a good size kitchen. I bet this is a really neat place to be during the summer. I wished it could have been summer, for I would of loved to take a hike through this forest. Miss B explained that the home used to be the family's hunting cabin a long time ago, but they finished it up and made it a year round cabin. It was given to her when she moved down here to teach. She loved it. She said it was just big enough for her.
Miss B had us help her in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. I fixed the salad, while Maddy was preparing the vegetables and Mrs. B was making meat loaf from the soy meat.
Dinner was delicious. We all helped to clean up. We finally got a chance to just sit and chat.
The time just flew; it was time to head home if I was going to be able to play a few games with Kevin.
When I arrived back home I said, “Thank you Jessica for inviting me for dinner. It was wonderful and I had a fab time.” I gave Miss B a hug. “I had a great time with you Mad, thanks for being a great friend and supporting me. If it weren't for you girls, I would never have made it here by myself.”
“Em, you know we are here for you. It was awkward at first, but I see you as a girl now, you are one of us, and I can't see Rhod anymore. I guess Rhod never really was, was he? You have always been Em; you just didn't realize it. I'm glad to know you girl friend.” We hugged each other.
“I had a wonderful time too Em, we need to do this again. I'm enjoying you girls being here. It gives me something to do, instead of being alone in the cabin all the time.”
Saying our goodbyes, Miss B and Maddy headed back home.
I decided to run up to the flat first, to see if Sandy was there. She wasn't, so I just freshened up and then headed for the main house. I noticed Mr. J's car was here. ‘Oh joy' I thought. Sighing, well I might as well go in.
Shortly after I entered the house, Kevin was already heading for the kitchen, I could hear the little elephant stomping as he ran, storming into the kitchen, but slowed down before he ran to me.
I smiled at him, “How are you feeling Kevin? Are you alright? You're not to badly burned are you?”
At this Kevin jumped into my arms and said, “I'm ok Aunty Em.” Putting his arms around my neck and hugging me, “Can we play a few games now?”
“That's why I came over, to play a few games with my boyfriend.” Kevin giggled at that.
I walked into the dining room and noticed Mr. J sitting at the table working on some paper work. He looked up and said, “Good evening Em, have a good time?”
“Ah … yes, I did actually. You?” I was getting nervous talking with him.
“Not bad. Ah …” I could see he was thinking about something, I started to cringe, “Um …” looking up at me, “Oh … never mind. Ah … I see you are carrying Kevin, are you planning on playing a few games with him?” he said sounding cordial.
“Ah … yes, I thought I would, for a bit.” I'm sure I looked like a dear caught in the headlights of a car.
“Well … ah … that's good, that is all he has been able to talk about tonight.” Putting on a weak smile, with a sad look on the rest of his face.
Mrs. J walked into the room, “Hi Em, how are you doing?”
Glad for the distraction, “Not bad.”
“Did you have a good time with Miss Bell this evening?”
“Yes I did actually, she has a lovely home.” Brightening my spirits.
“Yes, she does have an interesting home doesn't she? Are you still hungry? I can get you something to eat if you like?”
“No thank you, I'm stuffed.” I said brightly. “Is Sandy about?”
I could see Mr. J felt bad; he went back to working on his paper work.
“Yes, she is in the bathroom at the moment. Do you need to talk with her?”
“Not really, I was just wondering for I saw her car, but I didn't see her at the flat, is all.”
“She was pretty tired this evening, she didn't come home until about a half hour ago.”
“Oh, I bet she is tired. She works hard at the diner.”
“Yes I know. Well if you are going to play any games with Kevin you better get to it, it's getting late and he will have to go to bed soon.”
“Oh mom!”
“Don't you ‘oh mom' me Kevin, you have to go to bed at a decent hour, so you can grow up big and strong.”
I smiled at Kevin, “Come on sport, the sooner we start, the more games we can play, ok?”
Kevin smiled, “Ok Aunty Em, lets go.”
I carried him to his room and put him down. He ran over and started up his PS2 game. It seemed it has been a while since I played this last.
While playing the games, Sandy walked into the room and she started chatting with me, which caused me to lose concentration and Kevin beat me a couple of times, he was thrilled. I gave the controller to Sandy and her brother beat her too. Kevin was in Heaven, he beat two girls, he was happy.
Mrs. J walked into the room and said, “Ok Kevin, it is time for bed. Clean up your games, and go to the bathroom and wash up.”
“Ah ma! Do I have to? I was beating Sandy and Auntie Em.”
“Hey, do what your mother told you Kevin,” I said. “You don't want me to stop playing games with you now, do you?”
“Ahhhh Aunty Em, That isn't fair!”
“Ah, ah, ah. No back talking or else, you know what you have to do, now scoot,” I said.
“With all you girls, I can't even get a break!”
Sandy said, “You know the rules Kevin, when mom says you have to go to bed, you mind what she says, now off to the bathroom with you. Scoot!” Sandy swatted his little bottom playfully and he ran off giggling.
“Ok sis, you win.” He ended up closing the bathroom door before he would do anything.
“Em, you want a cup of hot chocolate before you head back over?”
“No, not really, I'm a bit tired from all the things that happened today, I want to go over and relax for a bit. Thank you anyway.”
“Your welcome Em. Sorry to hear you're tired, but I guess I can understand why, you don't stand still very long. You are quite the busy young lady. Sandy, how about you?”
“I'll pass mom, I'm a bit bushed myself. It was a long day. You don't mind do you?”
Mrs. J hugged her daughter, “No I don't mind dear, you're a hard worker.”
We walked out of the room and heard Kevin say, “Mom can you get my jammies for me please?”
“Sure dear.”
We walked out to the living room, and Mr. J looked at us and I saw he was going to say something.
“Ah … Sandy, I … ah … I want to … well …” Mr. J coughed, “Ah … um … Goodnight Sandy, Goodnight Em. Thank you Em.”
“Thank you for what?” I was curious, not understanding why he was thanking me.
“Well … for ah … making me open my eyes to things.”
“Ah, … sure you're welcome.” Being confused.
About then Kevin came running out of his room to us.
“Auntie Em, Auntie Em, you aren't leaving yet are you?”
“Yes Kevin, I have some work to do and I am tired and have to get some sleep myself.”
He ran to me and jumped into my arms and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight Auntie Em.”
I hugged him back and said, “Goodnight sweetheart, sleep well, we'll see you tomorrow, alright?”
“Ok Auntie Em.”
I whispered in his ear, “Don't forget your sister.”
He smiled and wiggled out of my arms and ran over to his sister, jumping into her arms, giving her a hug and a kiss, “I love you sis!”
Sandy smiling, “I love you too little bro. You be good for mom, ok?” She kissed him and hugged him tight, as he hugged her back. “You want me to put you to bed?”
“Yes please sis, could you?”
“Sure dear, I'll tuck you in.” She carried him to his room and put him to bed.
“Em, thank you for helping me? I realized a few things today after I thought about what you said. I met with a therapist and she introduced me to some people and I listened to them. I really had no idea. I guess they sort of are like us. I thought they chose to do what they do. I still don't agree with it, but at least I am listening. I guess you were right; I just didn't want to listen to what they had to say. Don't get me wrong, I'm still not comfortable with what they are, but I will listen to them. The Gay guys still give me the willies, but I will listen to them.”
“That is all I could hope for Mr. Jones. I don't necessarily agree with their lifestyle myself, but it is their life, and they are not bothering us, so why should we judge them for who and what they are. Let them be, and just tolerate them. Did you meet any other people?”
“No, she said she would introduce me to some other people in the course of the week.”
“So, who is she going to introduce you to? What type of lifestyles are they?”
“She said she would introduce me to some lesbians, one couple that's ah … she said they were married, or committed to each other, or some such thing. After that, she was going to introduce to me some Transvestites and then some … ah … Transsexuals, she said something about pre-op and post-op, whatever that means.”
I was thinking, ‘you don't know what a pre-op Transsexual is? Open up your eyes and look at your daughter you fool.'
“She said she would allow me to ask them questions and all. After what you told me, I promise I will listen. You aren't a lesbian are you, Em?”
“What?”
“Oh sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. I was just wondering, since you told me you now a lot of gay people and all.”
“What? We don't have problems with Gays, Lesbians, Transvestites and Transsexuals. They are people just like you and me. They want and deserve a life too. Why do you say something that makes me think you finally understand, then ask me a question like that? It is obvious that you still don't understand what these people go through. I'm glad you are finally listening, but would you please truly listen and put yourself in their shoes, to TRY to understand what they go through? You are still missing the point. They are people too Mr. Jones, they deserve the same courtesy you enjoy, when it comes to being able to live and survive. But closed-minded people won't let them; they shun them and make life very hard for them. They beat them up because they are different, without a thought to their feelings. They don't deserve this. They have not attacked or hurt anyone. The so-called religious zealots, or rednecks, I think you call them; they take matters into their own hands and want to destroy anyone that is different from them. They think everyone should think like them. I find these people offensive and not worthy of my time. I truly feel sorry for them.”
“So are you telling me I'm a zealot, or a redneck?”
Looking at him, I think about what I want to say. He really does fit into this category. Will he get mad at me again if I tell him the truth? “That is something you will have to answer. But if the shoe fits, I guess you will have to wear it.”
Mr. J stopped to think. I could see his brain cells cooking. I started to get ready for another series of lectures from him.
“Thank you for being honest Em. Have a good evening. I will see you tomorrow, I'm sure.”
That was not expected. He really threw me off balance when he said that. “Uh … yes … you too Mr. Jones.”
Sandy came back into the living room and she looked at me with questioning eyes, but didn't ask anything.
“Have a good evening Sandy.” Her dad said, going back to reading his newspaper.
“Ah … sure dad. You too.”
“Take care you two, I'll see you both tomorrow.” Mrs. J came over and hugged us.
I smiled at her and said, “You to Mary, have a good evening.”
We turned and left for our flat.
We got comfortable on the couch in front of the fireplace and Sandy turned to me and asked, “Was he being a bit strange to you this evening?”
“Excuse me? What are you talking about?”
“My dad. Did he actually seem cordial to me tonight? Almost … friendly?”
“Ah … could be. He seems to be changing a bit. He is still rough about the edges, but it looks like he is trying to make an effort. He still has a long way to go.”
“Yes, I guess so. I wonder what he really wanted to tell me tonight?”
“I have no clue. That was strange. You think he may be mellowing?”
“I don't know Em, I sure hope so.”
“So do I.”
“Maybe, we may be a family again. It would be nice if dad accepted me for a change.”
“I know what you mean. We can only hope.”
Sighing, “Yes, that is all that I have left, hope.”
I turned to her and pulled her into a hug. “I think things are starting, Sandy. Maybe we can get under his skin and make him see reality.”
“That would be nice.” She was returning my hug. “Thanks sis, I really love you. You have done more in the two weeks you have been here, than what has happened in the past 6 years.”
Breaking our hug. “I need to get ready for bed, do some of my homework and do my journal. So if you'll excuse me, I want to get moving.”
“Sure Em.” She let me go and I headed for my bedroom.
I got ready for bed and pulled out my journal.
Thursday, Day 12
This was a day of confrontations. I was almost beat up today, but the boys stopped when they realized I was not what they thought I was. I feel sorry for Dan, for he has a lot to answer for. I think things will finally settle down and hopefully I can relax and enjoy the rest of my time in America. American people are definitely different and sometimes very arrogant. They have definite thoughts that they are always right about everything. Mr. J scares me; he is a very misguided person. He feels certain things should be only one way and if it doesn't fit that way, then they are perverted or sick. He uses religion as his excuse. I'm not all that religious, but I know right from wrong and to love other people, no matter what lifestyle they choose. For being a religious individual, he seems to be lacking in this department. He truly frightens me.
I got to see Miss Bells house tonight. It is quite lovely. The house looked like a log cabin. It was used as a hunting cottage back in the early days, before it was converted to a year round home.
I really felt bad today. Kevin, Sandy's five year-old brother, came racing into the kitchen this evening, and I was holding a cup of hot chocolate and he ran into me and I dropped the cup of hot chocolate all over him. I felt so bad and worried for him, I thought he got burned. Fortunately, he didn't get burned, but it shook him up. He is such a sweet boy and always wants me to play games with him on his PS2. I enjoy my time with him.
I found that all of the girls have really become comfortable with me. There are no more questions about who and what I am. I think I can finally start to relax and enjoy myself. Gaby still is uncomfortable, and I wish I could talk with her in private, but we see very little of each other. I think Gaby is upset with me for some reason; she kept looking at me like I've lost it. I have no clue what she is on about, I wish she too could relax and enjoy her time here.
I finished my entry and decided I would go out and seek Sandy and tell her goodnight. I went out to the kitchen and didn't find Sandy, looked in the living room, again no Sandy. I went to her bedroom and found her sitting at her vanity looking into the mirror, doing nothing but looking at herself.
“Sandy? You alright?”
“Huh? Oh, hi Em, sorry didn't hear you. What did you ask?”
“You ok?”
“Oh, sure. What makes you think I'm not ok?”
“Well, you were just sitting there staring at yourself. What's wrong?”
Smiling at me, “Nothing Em, I was just thinking why my dad has to be so difficult, and what did he want to say tonight. He actually seemed a bit … I don't know … sort of civil towards me. Is he finally getting the message, or did you just scare the heck out of him and he realizes I know the same thing you do?”
“I don't know Sandy, I hope it is that he's starting to understand, but don't hold your breathe. Your dad scares me.”
“Talking with Diane kind of made me realize it is nice to have a father, but even so, when he behaves like he does, … I just don't know.” Sandy started to cry, “Oh Em, I don't know what I'm going to do. He will never understand. I wish that they would help me, instead of fighting me all of the time. They just buy me the bare necessities and I have to work to pay for the rest. I will never save enough to get my surgery, at this rate. I would love to go to college, but I sure can't pay for it. I don't think I'll ever be able to go to college.”
“Sandy, what brought this on? Don't give up, I'm sure something will happen and you will be going to college. Sandy, you are a great girl. Don't sell yourself short, you are a very resourceful girl.” I went over and gave her a hug.
“Thanks. Sometimes it's just hard to remember your objectives and why we are here in the first place. Dad can just be so infuriating. He really likes you. If he didn't, he wouldn't be trying to make up with you.”
“Well he sure fooled me. He has a warped sense of making up.”
“That's dad.”
“Well I better head for bed. I just came over to say goodnight.”
“Goodnight Em, enjoy tomorrow. Luray Cavern is gorgeous. I think it is one of the most beautiful caverns I've ever seen. I hope you all have a good time. Oh, wear comfortable shoes and jeans, you will be doing a lot of walking.”
“I wish you were coming with us. It really stinks that you aren't joining us on these away trips.”
“I know. I kind of wish I could come with you guys at times. I'm suppose to be able to go with you on some of them.”
“Well, it isn't fair.”
“When is life ever fair?”
“Touché.” Giving Sandy a hug, “Niter San, see you in the morning.”
I headed back to my room, checked the alarm, got into bed and turned off the light. I thought about what we discussed and got a shiver down my back thinking about Mr. J.
Talk about things that make nightmares, I shuddered at that thought. I finally fell asleep.
Joni W 31.12.06 © 2006
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