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I want to thank all the people that have helped me edit and critique this story. They are Angel O'Hare, Stacy Miller, Karen Page, Robi, Paula Dillon and especially Maddy Bell for allowing me to join her universe and giving me permission to write in it.

Based on the story Gaby, Book # 4 - Once Upon A Time In America By Maddy Bell

All Characters portrayed in the story are copywrited to Maddy Bell for her Gaby series found at Maddybell.com

Scene 29

Stacey's Day:

Tuesday (cont.)

“Uh … not really, I just got a cramp.”

“Oh, right. You're on. Sorry Em, I hate being on myself.” Stacey stated

Suddenly I had a stroke of inspiration.

“Uh … Stacey could I have a word with you in the loo?”

“Huh, what's a loo?”

“Oh sorry, I mean ah … the ladies,” I explained pointing to the girl's room.

All of a sudden she had a look of doom on her face, wondering what's up.

“Uh … ok, sure,” as she looked at Dan.

I didn't miss that interaction. We both headed to the loo. The loo wasn't all that big, just enough room for two, maybe three people, but it would be crowded with three.

I went into the stall while she was waiting for me at the mirror.

“Stacey, let me change my tampon and I'll be right out. I want to talk a bit, and it concerns Dan.”

“Oh, ok.”

I decided it was time to play my trump card and got a blood capsule out of my purse and the insertion tool. I removed my tampon and used the tool to perforate the capsule. The blood in the capsule came out a lot faster than I thought it would and it got all over my fingers. I sprinkled the blood over the tampon and then wrapped it up in toilette paper and dumped it in the dispenser. I then used the insertion tool and inserted the blood capsule into the gaff. Then stuck a new tampon in and discarded the container the same way into the dispenser. I tried to wipe off my fingers but it didn't get everything off. I finished up and walked out of the stall, walking past Stacey and washed my hands and Stacey saw I had blood on my fingers.

“Bad flow huh?”

I saw her facial expression change from non-difference, to one of concern and pity.

“Yes, that happens once in a while. I hate it when it happens, it is so messy.”

“Yes, I know what you mean. I have that once in a while too. Em, ah … look, I have to apologize to you.”

“What do you have to apologize for?” I pulled out a bottle of Motrin that stated it would reduce the affects of PMS and took a pill.

Stacey noticed, “Um, that bad huh?”

“Um … yea.”

“Look Em, really, I need to apologize to you. When I first saw you last week you were a great girl and I was happy to meet you. Ah, my soon to be EX-boyfriend told me Sunday evening, you were not a … well … ah … a real girl. Please don't hate me! But he told me you were a boy named Rhod. Look, I'm so sorry for thinking that. But I had to find out. I told him he was full of it, for I remembered you showered with us and you definitely were not a boy then and I told him so. Dan insisted I was wrong, that you disguised yourself somehow, but insisted you were a boy. I don't know why I listened to him. Obviously you are a girl, because boys don't bleed, do they. Will you forgive me Em?”

I turned to her and smiled and gave her a hug.

“Stacey, I understand. Look, let me fill you in on what happened when Dan was in England, and why he believes he's right. But you need to keep this to yourself, do you promise?”

“You mean there was a reason he really thought you were a boy? There's no way you could ever look like a boy. You are too beautiful. I just figured he's blind as a bat.”

I smiled at that. “Really there is a good reason he thought I was a boy.”

“No way.”

I smiled bigger.

“Well, do you promise that what I'm about to tell you, stays just between the two of us?”

“Ok, I promise.”

“Well, I used to be a real tomboy. I actually wanted to be a boy and hated being a girl. My mum was understanding and allowed me to indulge in being a boy. See, my dad left my mum after he got her pregnant with me, the commitment of a child, scared him away. I never saw him, nor has he ever tried to contact her after I was born, so he never found out about me.”

“His mother really liked my mother and we stayed close. I really like my Grandmother. She was very upset when her son ran out on us, so she helped my mum when she could.”

“I never knew my father and my mum never remarried. My mum owns her own beauty shop business. I love my mum and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her.”

“The trouble started when I was ten years old. My mum received a letter from my dad. She read it and got quite upset. I asked her what was wrong and she fumed. I finally was told that dad had remarried, the girl's name was Cherys and she had female surgery, because of cancer and could never have children. Well, dad being a male and a non thinking male at that, decided to tell my mom, that he was going to come to collect me, since she could not raise a boy properly and that it was a man's job to do that. Dad is an arrogant macho jerk and a football enthusiast you see. That's soccer to you Americans.”

“Well, he assumed I was a male child and he thought women couldn't properly raise them. So he was just going to waltz into our lives and take me away from my mum. He figured this would satisfy Cherys, that she could have a child to take care of and he would be able to teach me the macho nuances to be a true man. You know to be arrogant and treat women like slaves and all.”

“Well, mum was so worried that he would succeed and get custody of me; she didn't have money for a good solicitor to keep him from doing so. She realized then, that he thought I was a boy and with me being a tomboy he could get that impression. She came up with the idea that I should start dressing like the lady I was, hoping this would turn him off and keep him from taking me away from her. Since his threat about her ‘not being able to raise a boy properly,' would not hold water, since I was a girl and he would hopefully leave us alone.”

“I fought with my mother about becoming a girl, I didn't want to be one. But when she told me what would happen if I didn't go along with her suggestion, I was horrified. I didn't want to be taken from my mother. Grandmother was told about what she was going to do, and she was all for it. She was ashamed that her son was doing this to us and was quite upset.”

“The day finally came when my dad showed up. I was dressed to the hilt in a pretty dress. I wish I had a camera; the look on his face was priceless when he saw I was a girl. It was obvious he really didn't want me. Cherys, his wife, was very happy however and berated him for not wanting to get to know his daughter. Before I knew what was happening, it was agreed upon that I would be shared between them and I would have to go to my dad's house once a month. This wasn't that bad, but I really wanted nothing to do with my dad. I'm glad he left my mother; he was a total jerk. Cherys however, was a true old-fashioned traditionalist, she wouldn't allow me to wear jeans or shorts when I was there, and she only allowed me to wear skirts and dresses or very feminine trousers once in a while. I hated it. She taught me how to cook, clean house, do food shopping so I could become a good housewife for some man when and if I got married and took me out clothes shopping, for she saw I had very few, truly feminine clothes. After all, I was still a tomboy inside.”

“Well the years passed and I remained a tomboy while I was at home with my mom, until after the summer vacation and what happened with Dan. Dan was assigned to me for some reason, exactly why, I don't know; after all he was a boy. My mum decided that maybe I should stay in boy mode to make him feel comfortable, so I became Rhod. Well the kids in school always saw me as a boy and they nicked name me that anyway, so I kept the name.”

“When Dan arrived he saw Rhod, the male side of me and it was great pretending to be a boy for real; I loved it. My mum went along with it, as did the others kids in my group. No one slipped up. Dan was great during all of this time.”

“It was that time of month that I had to go to my dad's place and my dad had to believe I was all girl, so I had to get into girl mode before I went to him. Dan was told I needed to go to my dad's and Dan was cool with that, he ended up staying with another boy, when I had to leave and he didn't mind me going by myself, thank goodness. He knew I had to go to my dad's.”

“The trouble started when I got back. I didn't have time to get out of Em mode, and Dan ended up walking in on me and first didn't realize who I was. I saw him looking at me like most boys look at a girl, he liked what he saw and just thought I was a friend of Rhod's. Well, he started to make eyes at me and you know the usual boy girl type conversation. Sabrina, Maddy, Gaby and Britney were there at the same time and Sabrina and Britney where surprised that I was a girl, they too thought I was a boy, but figured it out, when they overheard my dad talking to me outside. They came in to see what was going on. Dan went upstairs for something and he saw the suitcase sitting on my bed and realized who I was. When he came back downstairs, he figured me out as a boy who likes to dress in girl's clothing and totally freaked out. He called me all types of names I did not like. When Sabrina tried to quiet him down, he started calling her all type of racial slurs. My mom heard what was going on, pulled Dan out of there and took him to his room, trying to cool him off but it wasn't working. We tried to tell him about what happened, but he wouldn't shut up long enough to get the whole story. We ended up calling Miss Bell.”

“Miss Bell showed up and told him to chill and he wouldn't. She then threatened him that if he didn't quiet down, he would be sent back home at his expense. That shut him up. He was also told that if he ever said anything about this, he would be expelled from school and wouldn't be allowed to do all of his extra things he does, like track or whatever, so he was put on probation. He was very quiet and cool to me the rest of the time he was there. He plain ignored me. I tried to tell him I was a real girl, but he wouldn't listen.”

“This isn't what got him kicked off the exchange program. During the last going away dance, he was dancing with Gaby. Without asking her, he kissed her and gave her a supposed sensual kiss. Gaby didn't like it and she decked him there and then and laid him out on the floor. I think this was the final straw that really got him kicked off the exchange program and he is blaming me for it all.”

“When I had to come over here, I had only a female passport and I really got to like being a girl after Cherys showed me what benefits a girl gets and what a girl could do. Ally got me to try out for cheerleading and I was accepted. Boys were starting to notice me and I guess I started to notice boys. I started to embrace my womanhood, so here I am.”

“Please don't repeat this to ANYONE! If it was found out what really happened, a lot of people will get hurt and probably lose their jobs. Please, please keep this between us ok?”

“Oh my God! I am so sorry Em. I had no idea he was such a jerk. I never should have believed him. Now I know why he is the way he is. What and idiot. What a bigot! What an a**hole! I am so sorry Em, I truly am. What can I do to make it up to you?”

“Stacey, just continue being my friend.”

“Oh thank you Em, I was afraid you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.”

She gave me a big hug and I returned it. I really hated to lie to her like this, but I'm afraid the truth would have really hurt everyone. Now I'm starting to feel bad for Dan. She is really going to hate him. In one way he deserves it for the racial slurs he threw towards Sabrina. She is such a nice, sweet, girl, she didn't deserve them.

We left the loo together and she was linked arm and arm with me and we were talking like two old school friends, where we knew each other all our lives. We passed the pool table area and saw Dan. She gave Dan the dirtiest look you could ever imagine. He looked shocked. I just ignored him.

When we got back to the table, the girls looked up at us and said, “We thought you two got lost, we were just about to send the State Police out to look for you.”

We just smiled and giggled. Stacey was once again happy with me and we all talked the evening away.

Sandy noticed I was happy, and I winked at her. She gave me a funny expression and I mouthed to her ‘LATER'. She smiled and nodded her head. Sandy took my vegetarian order and the girls wondered why I liked eating that. After telling them I was allergic to meats they understood.

Before my meal arrived, the boys came back over to our table and Casey made the introductions. “Em, I would love for you to meet our boyfriends. This is Jake, he's Karen's boyfriend; this is Stuart and he is Samantha's boyfriend; this is Dan, and he is Stacey's boyfriend, and this fine specimen of boyhood is Steven and he is mine. Guys this is Mfanwy, Em to her friends. She is from Warsop England and one of the English cheerleaders.”

All the guys said hi to me, except Dan.

Dan won't be Stacey's boyfriend much longer if I understand Stacey right, I thought.

“Hi guys, a pleasure to meet you.” I saw Stacey really staring at Dan without a smile on her face.

Dan all of a sudden didn't look so confident in himself. “Ah … nice to meet you again Rh … ah … Mfanwy.”

Stacey really got a dirty look then. “Dan can I have a word with you a minute?”

“Ah … sure Stacey.”

“In private?”

“Ah sure lead the way.”

“Grab your coat Dan, I want to talk with you outside.”

“Ah … ok.” Grabbing his coat he looked at me with a foul look on his face.

I saw them walk outside. I could see through the window and saw that Stacey was pissed; she started yelling at Dan. I saw Dan trying to calm down Stacey. After a bit of yelling at each other I saw Stacey slap him hard and I saw Dan leave, head bowed, walking away from the diner. Stacey was fuming. I saw Stacey watching him walk away. Well, so much for that relationship. I guess I better watch out for him. He is going to blame me for this also.

After a bit Stacey came back in and I saw her put a smile on her face.

“Are you alright Stacey?” I asked.

“Um … yea Em, I'm fine. My hand is a bit sore, but that felt good. I'm glad I'm rid of him.”

“What did he say to make you slap him like that?”

“He started to make racial slurs against my friends and calling me all types of nasty names, you don't want to know. He deserved that. He's a bigoted pig. He definitely takes after his father. If he would realize his father is an a**hole and not take after him, using him for a role model, I think he would be alright. I think he can be turned from the dark side, but he has to wake up and realize how bad he is, so he knows what he needs to change.”

“Oh Stacey, I never meant for this to happen.”

“Em, it is not your fault, I didn't like him for some other reasons too. I always thought he was rather full of himself. I guess I was just ignoring it. After our little chat, it all brought it into focus. What you told me about what he did to Sabrina, and you, I realized he's still doing that. What a pig he is. His dad is worse. I was just ignoring it. Thank you for opening my eyes.”

“Hey Stacey, you ok?” Casey asked. “Were did Dan go?”

“Oh, he had to leave.”

“Oh, ok.”

Sandy brought out all the food for everyone.

We enjoyed a pleasurable dinner and we all got along famously. The guys were attentive to me and some of the girls elbowed them to behave and remind them they were their boyfriends, not mine. I just giggled. Boys are so transparent. The girls knew I would not steal them from them.

For some reason, the boys loved my accent, I said, “What accent?” using my so-called southern drawl with the English twist, I continued by saying, “It's you all that has the accent.” I laughed, when the guys gave me a dumb look and then caught on and started laughing.

Before I knew it, Sandy came over to me and asked, “Em, are you ready to head home?”

“Wow, already? What time is it?”

“It's eight o'clock Em, we have been here for over four hours,” she said looking at her watch.

“Wow, time flies when you are having fun. Sorry gang, I guess we better get going, I still have to get some homework finished.”

“Ok Em. Have a great evening,” Casey said.

“Thanks Em.” Stacey said as she got up and hugged me, “I'm glad you opened my eyes to that jerk,” she quietly said into my ear.

“Your welcome Stacey.”

The rest of the gang told me to take care and said they would see me at school tomorrow.

Sandy and I were heading home when Sandy asked me, “What went on between you and Stacey? I thought she was spying on you for Dan?”

“Sandy, you wouldn't believe it. When I saw Dan, I about freaked. The girls saw me turn pale and they took that as a reaction of my period. In that instant I realized I could sway Stacey, so I asked her to come with me to the loo. I went into a stall and took out the tampon. I perforated a blood capsule using the insertion tool and put some of the blood on the tampon. Unfortunately I didn't realize it would come out that fast, I got the blood all over my fingers. I inserted the rest of the capsule into the gaff and used a new tampon. When I exited the stall, the blood was still on my fingers and Stacey took it that I had a bad flow type of period. I washed my hands and took some Motrin, and the rest is history. She finally believes me to be a genetic girl.”

“Well that should not have taken that much time, you two were in there for quite a while. I was getting worried for you, that Stacey was going to do something to you.”

“I decided to tell her a modified version of the true story about what my dad was going to do to Rhod. But I told Stacey that I was a serious tomboy, I was nicknamed Rhod by my friends and I didn't want to be a girl. So everyone thought I was a boy called Rhod, when in fact I was a genetic girl called Mfanwy and my mum allowed me to indulge.”

“You're seriously wicked girl. You lied to her. You convinced her you are a genetic girl, but always wanted to be a guy and you never wanted to be a girl. That is just way COOL! You are seriously demented.” She was really smiling at me. “Remind me never to cross you. You are crafty.”

Laughing, “Yes I am bad, aren't I?”

“Well done Em. You made one convert. How is she taking to you now?”

“She loves me now and pities me for having my period. In a way, I feel sorry for Dan though. He didn't have a good night.”

“Yes, what happened? Stacey and Dan went out side and only Stacey came back. I heard Stacey say he had to go.”

Giggling, “I saw Stacey give him a what for and I guess he started mouthing off to Stacey. She slapped him hard, I mean really hard. He looked at her in shock and then turned and walked away. Stacey told me he was making racial slurs about her friends and calling her some things she wouldn't tell me, but said were very offensive. He deserved what he got.”

“Wow, I didn't know Stacey had it in her.”

“Oh yes, she does. She is a wild woman when you get her upset; remind me never to cross her. I hope she never finds out the truth about me, or she would probably do the SRS surgery free of charge.”

“Well, that would save you some money,” we both started laughing at that. “Oh, Dianne Biggs was in. She invited us to her house tomorrow night, are you interested in going?”

“Isn't she that biker girl that I met last week, the one that's a bicycle racing enthusiast, like our Gaby? I saw her sitting at the counter eating that huge meal.”

Chuckling, “Yes that's her. She eats like a horse and never puts on weight.”

“Sure sounds great. It would have to be after my ballet lessons? Think she would be ok with that?”

“What time do you usually get out?”

“Oh, about nine o'clock. That isn't to late is it?”

“I'll call her when we get home and see.”

We arrived home and I saw that Mr. J's car was here. ‘Great!' I thought.

We took our stuff up to our flat when the phone rang.

Sandy answered it, “Hello? … Oh, hi mom what's up? … Uh huh … uh huh … let me check. Mom wants to know if you want to come over and get something to eat?”

“I'm stuffed Sandy, but I'll come over with you if you want?”

“Ok mom. Em is not hungry because she got something to eat at the diner. … Sorry we forgot to call you in all the excitement. … Ok, we will be over soon, let us freshen up. … You too mom bye.” Sandy hung up the phone. “Mom is expecting us. Evidently, dad just arrived home and he wants something to eat, so she was asking if we wanted to join them.”

“Hmm, I bet if you had your druthers I know what you would have said.”

“The little shit!”

“Come on Sandy, don't get mad. Let's see what he has to say for himself. I'm curious what he will say. This could be fun.”

“Yes. your right, this could be fun, since we know and he doesn't. Ok lets have some fun then.”

We freshened our makeup, and made sure we were presentable and went over to the main house. Soon after we walked into the kitchen I heard those little running feet coming at us screaming, “Em's here; Em's here!”

I looked at Sandy and we both started to laugh. The door to the kitchen slammed open and here came Kevin charging into my arms.

“Auntie Em, where have you been?”

“I've been to London to visit the Queen.”

“WHAT! No you haven't! You're pulling my leg.”

I laughed even harder and so did Sandy; evidently she heard what I had said and made the connection with the nursery rhyme.

“Of course not sweetheart. Have you been a good boy?”

“Oh yes. I helped mom clean my room this evening.”

“My, you have been busy.”

“Hi Sandy!” as Kevin squirmed out of my hands and ran over to his sister, then jumped into her waiting arms and gave her a great big hug too.

“Hi Kevin, how are you today, brother dear?”

“I'm fine, oh sister of mine.” Sandy hugged her brother very tight, as did Kevin to his sister.

Damn, I wish I had my camera; this was definitely a photographic moment. They both had huge smiles on their faces. Sandy carried Kevin in to the dining room and plunked him into his chair.

“Hi mom!”

“Hi Mary.”

“Hi girls, we missed you two today. Have fun?”

“Oh we definitely did. I got to meet some friends at the diner and things just got carried away.”

“I just worked like the slave waitress that I am, at their beck and call mom. Just like Cinderella.”

I heard a snort coming from the living room. Well guess who is here.

“Hi Mr. J!” I yelled.

“Come to the table John, we are ready to eat.”

Mr. J walked into the room, and it felt like the room became five degrees Celsius colder. ‘Isn't this fun to come home too' I thought.

“How are you Mr. J?”

“Oh, doing alright Em.”

“Ok, let's us first pray then we can start eating.” Mary stated.

After the prayers were said, we all got what we wanted to eat and I could tell everyone one was obviously hungry but me. I took a bit of salad, so I wouldn't look out of place.

“So, Mr. J, what have you been up to? It has been a while since I've talked with you.”

“Sorry Em. I've been working hard on a few things, well time just slips away and you forget what time it is. You know, I have the stupid special project I have to do for work, so I'm diligently trying to press my advantage, working at it and trying to get everything unbuttoned so it will fall into place, but things get quite hard at times, and you know you … ah … just have to keep at it, to get it down to a manageable level. When I find it unmanageable, I stay at a room, downtown in a motel.”

‘I can just imagine how hard it is and keeping it manageable with that girl he was with.' I wanted to laugh when I heard him say that. I think Sandy snickered a bit. Oh no, her dad heard her.

“What in the hel … ah … what do you think is so funny, Ad … ah … Sandy?”

“Nothing dad, nothing at all. I just hope you had someone to … ah … help you get your stuff more … ah … manageable is all. I would hate to see you have to handle it … ah … all by yourself.”

Her dad stopped short and looked at his daughter in kind of a funny way. It took everything I had to keep from laughing at him. I hope Sandy doesn't continue, for if she does, I won't be able to contain my mirth for much longer.

“Well, unfortunately I had to handle it myself. I can't get anyone to assist me, for they are all pressed and too busy at the moment.”

‘I bet.' I thought this double innuendo was funny.

“What type of things have you been doing Mr. J?”

“Well, I have been going to several psychologists and have been interviewing them about what people are like. I think there are a lot of sick people in this world,” as he stared hard at Sandy.

“Oh? Why do you say that dad?” As Sandy looked up from what she was eating and gave her dad a very big smile?

He scowled, “I didn't know people thought that way. Imagine two guys kissing in public and sleeping with each other. Sick! Or two women in so much in love, they want to get married, or something, and then have kids. How in Sam's name could they do that? That is just so disgusting. There was also the woman who wanted to be a guy. Why would any self-respecting woman WANT to be a guy, she should just settle down, get laid and have kids, and raise a family. That's what they are supposed to do. Then there are these guys that want to be women and then marry a guy and have a family. Then he wants the guy to make love to him like he was suppose to be a woman. Can you just imagine?!?”

“Yes I could actually!” Sandy said.

“I figured you would you PERV …!”

“JOHN!!!!!!” Mary yelled, cutting him off.

Mr. J scowled and went back to eating.

“Have you ever talked with any of those people you talked about? Really got to know them, to understand them at all, or try to?” I asked.

“Why do I want to talk with them, they are all sick. You can't honestly want to talk to people like that do you Em? I mean why would you a beautiful girl, wish to talk to some sick, perverted, misguided, cretins like them? They are all going to rot in hell when they pass on. You mark my words.”

This conversation was starting to annoy me.

“I don't know anything about what you are talking about, but it has been my experience that a lot of people are not all born, or think, the same way as you. If everyone was born the same way, wouldn't this be a pretty boring world?” I stated.

“Maybe, but at least it wouldn't be filled with sickos and perverts.”

Now I was starting to get angry.

“I know some girls that were born with a male anatomy and called boys, and I found them not only to be very beautiful people, but fun, smart, loving, nurturing and understanding. They realized from a very early age that their brain gender did not match their anatomical sex. They always thought of themselves to be girls and also realized that society wouldn't allow them to be who they are without problems, because of people like you.”

“Just you wait a moment missy!”

I wouldn't let him continue. I noticed everyone at the table stopped eating and just stared at me.

“They couldn't act nice, because BOYS are suppose to be rough and tough; they couldn't cry, because BOYS weren't suppose to cry, it is a sign of weakness; they couldn't wear skirts, or dresses, or put on makeup to become beautiful, for they were BOYS, otherwise they were sissies; or like you say, perverts and what ever name you could come up with.”

“You just listen here …”

My emotional dam started to burst; I wouldn't let him continue.

“Why can't they do all these things? Were is it written they can't do this?”

“It says so in the bible, missy!”

“You think so huh? Then if you take the bible literally, then there would be a lot of people that would have been stoned to death by now, including yourself.”

“What are you saying?”

“You heard me! I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Are you the perfect man Mr. J? Have you not COVETED someone or some thing in your lifetime?”

“They are still people, Mr. J, they are still human, they haven't attacked anyone, they just want to be left alone and allowed to become the person they are underneath all of that skin and bone that makes up their fleshy body.”

I saw Mr. J turn white when I said the thing about coveting.

“Unfortunately not all the TG girls are blessed with looking delicate and cute, some look like gorillas and they know there is no way they could ever pass as female. But deep down they are just as female as any genetically born woman.”

Mr. J was about to say something but I cut him off.

“I understand that this country is based on having personal freedom. The freedoms to do the things you want to make you happy, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else in the process. But here you are telling me, that if you are Gay, Lesbian, Transgender or Bi, you can't have those freedoms, because they don't conform to YOUR idea of freedoms. Are you telling me this country is based on double standards? I thought these freedoms where for everyone?”

“But …”

Again I cut him off.

“In the UK these freedoms of who you are and how you present once self hold true. Most people are tolerant. Sure there are still ignorant people like you, but at least there are laws in place about sexual harassment. You are allowed to be who you are inside. We embrace these people and understand that they too are still human beings. I feel sorry for you Mr. J, you have got blinders on, you are a bigot, you have a fear of those people that you do not understand, you are crippled by the belief that you have to conform to a standard that all ignorant people conform to. If it is different then it is wrong!”

“Huh? Just …”

Again cutting off.

“I pity you Mr. J. You will loose the beauty that is all around you, because of your hatred for those things that you think don't conform to YOUR standards. Well Mr. J, there is a higher power that doesn't turn it's back on different. You call yourself a Godly person, but yet you have hatred in your heart for those that are different, and the sad thing is, you will not even listen to them and try to understand THEIR side of the story. You just make a stand and use foul and vulgar language against them to make them feel worthless and unwanted, just because it makes you feel good. I think the true perverts are not those people Mr. J; they are people like you, who would rather antagonize others to make you feel powerful. Force your beliefs on others taking away their rights and freedoms at the same time. Who made you God, Mr. J? I sat here tonight and listened to you rant about what it is you are doing and yet you won't even stop to listen to others to find out why they are this way, you just call them sick, perverted whatnots. I'm sick just listening to you. Matter of fact I'm sorry I lost my temper and my appetite, but I can't sit here any longer and listen to your story about these people any longer. I'm sorry, but I need to go to the flat, if I upset you, I will get my stuff and ask Miss Bell if she will collect me and move me else where away from you, if that is what you want?” I started to cry, I took my napkin threw it on the table, grabbed my coat and ran from the house to the flat. I think I had just blown everything.

It was dead silence that greeted me when I finished ranting. Everyone at the table was awe struck. Everyone had their mouths open, including Kevin. I could see Mr. J was shocked by my outburst against him.

I jumped on the couch in the living room and cried; I realized I was really in it now. I just burned bridges that weren't even finished yet. I know I was as bad as Dan was when he went off. I am going to be in so much trouble. They are going to send me home. I just know it.

After a few minutes later I heard the door open. I didn't even look to see who came in.

Sandy came over to me and said, “Em, Em are you alright?” She came quickly to me and got down on her knees next to me and was stroking my hair.

“Em, look at me, are you alright?” I wouldn't look at her, I just cried harder.

“Em, please turn and look at me. What happened to you tonight? I never knew you had it in you to go off on anyone like that. Like wow, you really got my dad; he was speechless. He was white as a sheet. I have never seen anyone like that. You think he caught on that you know about his infidelity? You think? Come on Em, your going to be alright. Come on let me give you a hug.”

“Oh Sandy, they are going to kick me out. They are going to send me back home. I'm in so much trouble for the disrespect I showed your father. Your dad is going to get me, once he realized I yelled at him. Hold me Sandy, I'm probably never going to be allowed to stay here again, I'm going to lose you, I just know it. Oh Sandy I blew it, but I just couldn't stand to listen to anymore of his garbage.”

“Shh, shh, shh, calm down Em. No one is going to send you away; at least if I can help it. You are amazing; I have never felt anything, about anyone, like I feel about you. You just make things happen. You should have seen what happened after you left, it was eerie. I think dad was in shock, I have never seen him like that. His eyes were bulging out of his head with a look of surprise. Mom just sat there looking after you with a puzzled expression on her face. She is really concerned about you. Kevin was frightened, he didn't know what was going on, but knew something happened. I think he was sad you left so quickly. Me? You totally rock dear. You finally put dad into his place, now if he will only understand what it was you tried to tell him. I swear men are so dense. I hope he figures out what it was you were saying.” Shaking her head while she was hugging me.

The door opened again. I was terrified it was Mr. J, I was afraid to look.

“Oh my God Em, are you alright?” Mary said, coming over to me and hugging me. “I just had to come over to make sure you're ok”

I squeaked, “I guess I'm alright. I'm sorry I lost it Mrs. Jones.”

“Not as sorry as I am that you had to listen to his diatribe tonight. I swear I'm going to kill that man one of these days. Call me mom or Mary dear.”

“I figured you are going to ask me to leave?”

“Nonsense dear, whatever gave you that idea?”

“I mean my ranting tonight, I've never done that to anyone before. I don't know what came over me. I just couldn't take anymore of Mr. J putting down people like that. I am so sorry.”

“Don't be sorry Em, he deserved every word you said to him. He is still in shock when I left him. Kevin got up and went to his room. He was sad you aren't there to play games with him, but he understands you're not up to it at the moment. Don't worry Em, you can still live here. You said things I had wanted to say to him for years, but were afraid to tell him. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Please let me apologize for him. He is an insensitive jerk at times. He has absolutely no remorse for the things he does. I hope he opens his eyes before it is to late for him. He is such an arrogant … well you know what I mean. Are you going to be alright?”

I gave her hug and shed some tears on her shoulder and said, “I'll survive, I think.”

“Good girl. I let you two be. Get cleaned up and get some sleep Em. Oh Em, your spotting through your slacks dear.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“I mean your period, your spotting through your slacks.” Pointing at my crotch.

I started to panic; oh my God I'm bleeding. I was just about to lose it when I realized I was suppose to be on my period, and the blood must have seeped past the tampon and my towel. “Oh great, just what I need. Excuse me, but I need to go clean up.” Wiping the tears from my eyes.

“No problem dear. Now I understand why you lost it. You were just over emotional from your period. It happens to me at times too, just ask Sandy.”

I looked questionally at Mary. “Thanks Mary. Thanks for everything and not throwing me out of the house.”

“Tch, tch, Em, think nothing of it. You being here has been the greatest thing ever for our family. I just feel bad that you are seeing the dark side of our family is all. Come give me your hand and I'll walk you over to your bathroom.”

She walked me over to the loo and followed me in. I was a bit nervous, but what the heck, I was naked in front of all the girls in the locker room many times, why should this be any different. I pulled off my trousers, and saw the mess in my knickers. EEW! This is gross looking. I pulled of my knickers, removed the pad that was soaked through, wrapping it in toilet paper and put it into the bin, then putting my knickers into the sink. I removed my tampon and did the same and realized I didn't have a spare with me. “Mary, could you go out into the bedroom and get a spare tampon out of the top drawer in the chest of drawers, for me, while I clean up please?”

“Certainly Em.”

She walked out of the bathroom while I took a wash cloth and soaped it up and started cleaning myself down there. I cleaned and rinsed the panties in the sink. Mrs. J walked back in and she had also gotten a pair of knickers for me too. Fortunately the clean up wasn't too bad. Ellen was right, the blood came out pretty easily. I'm sure it would have been worse if it were real blood. Mrs. J handed me another tampon, and I inserted it like I was doing it all my life, when in fact it was only the third time. She handed me a new sanitary towel and I put that in the gusset of the knickers and then pulled them up. I felt better being cleaned up. I went over and pulled off my top and bra, and went into my drawers and got my flannel nightgown and put it on over me. I felt much warmer and at the moment warmth was what I needed. With everything that happened today, I was emotionally wiped out. I went over to Mrs. J and said, “Thank you Mary.”

“Your welcome dear. I'll take your slacks home with me and wash them for you. You are a lovely woman Em; don't forget to remove your makeup before you go to bed. Goodnight dear, I'll see you in the morning, alright?”

I gave her a huge hug. “Goodnight Mary, and thanks again. I will don't worry.”

Mary went and hugged her daughter and wished her goodnight also and left.

“Em, are you truly alright?”

“I don't know Sandy. I am totally exhausted mentally. I don't know what came over me. I just snapped, it was frightening; I don't ever remember losing control like that. It scared the heck out of me.”

“I know what you're talking about Em, it has happened to me too. I guess when you are pushed so far, I guess your mind snaps and just retaliates. I'm glad it was you that did it. If it was mom or me, he would have yelled and bit our heads off.”

“I just feel so bad about it now.”

“Don't. Just put it behind you. You have the best excuse ever and you didn't even realize it.”

“Oh, and what pray tell is that?”

“Your period dear, and you just confirmed to my mother that you're truly a girl since you made a mess in your panties. This is the plague all natural girls have to go though. You just solidified your gender to my mom and you had an emotional breakdown like any girl having her period. Congratulations.”

I started to giggle, “Yes I guess you're right. Wow, that is two in one day and I wasn't really thinking about doing it for your mom.”

We both laughed at that.

“Since I'm dressed for the evening I'm going to go and clean my face up and get ready for bed. I am truly tired tonight.”

“Want some hot chocolate before you go to bed?”

“Sure that sounds good. Thanks Sandy.”

“I'll bring it in to you if you want?”

“That's ok. I just want to clean up and then I have to write something into my journal for the day. I'll come out when I'm finished.”

“Ok, deal. I guess I might as well get ready too.”

We each went off into our respective areas and got ready for bed.

I pulled out my journal.

Tuesday, Day 10

A lot happened today. We went to a horse farm called the New Market Stud. It was amazing all the things they have there. Horse farming is really big business here in the states and they take it quite seriously. The hospital was fantastic to see.

When we came back, Sandy took me to the diner, and I met several of the American cheerleaders there with their boyfriends. I had a blast with everyone. Stacey is a real sweetheart, as are Casey, Karen, and Samantha. I met their boyfriends too, they are cool boys. Dan was Stacey's boyfriend, but I think that is over. He overstepped his bounds with her and she found out and told him so.

When we arrived home, we were asked to dinner and Mr. J came home tonight. Well to say things didn't go as planned, was an understatement. I really feel bad for what happened this evening, but Mr. J just jumped once to often on one of my nerves, and I guess I lost it. I think I am going to have to apologize to him tomorrow. I am fearful he may ask me to leave. Well, we will see tomorrow.

I finished up my journal entry and put the book away. I went into the living room and Sandy was waiting for me. She was sitting on the couch with her feet curled up underneath her watching the fire she started in the fireplace. I smiled at her and she asked for me to join her on the couch, which I did. She handed me a cup of hot chocolate and it was delicious, it was just what I needed. I felt the warmth of the fire and the two of us just sat there looking into it letting our thoughts run away.

I saw Sandy looking at me and she was smiling.

“What?” I said.

“I was just thinking how my life has changed because of you. I am just amazed what one event can do to change ones life. In a heartbeat, you have taken my meager and mediocre existence, and turned it around to an exciting experience and getting my family to acknowledge who I truly am. I am just amazed is all, that a 13 year old has such power. I would have been terrified to do what you have done. Em, it is like you have no fear.”

“Believe me when I say this. I am scared half out of my wits most of the time. I'm terrified Sandy, almost constantly. I worry about being found out, if that ever happens I will feel like that nursery rhyme about Humpty Dumpty and all the kings men couldn't put humpty back together again. I may look calm, but believe me I am shaking inside every time someone gets close to the truth. Dan really scares me.”

“I'm truly sorry to hear that Em, I wish you could relax and enjoy your trip here and enjoy being a true girl. As far as I am concerned, you always have been a girl. In a way I am jealous of you.”

“Don't be that way Sandy. You are a wonderful and beautiful woman yourself. You just lack the confidence, because your dad keeps beating you down. I think there will come a time when he may appreciate his daughter too.”

“I wish I could be as sure as you are.”

I smiled at her and gave her a hug. We sat the rest of the time in silence watching the fire burn. I could go to sleep right here, this was so romantic. Sandy had turned all the lights off, so the only light was from the fire. It was so hypnotic.

We sat there for a while, when Sandy finally stated, “Well I guess we better head for bed. It is getting Late. Goodnight Em.”

“Goodnight sis. See you in the morning.”

We got up and hugged each other and put our cups in the kitchen sink and went to bed. Sleep came quickly, but I finally felt relaxed, especially after losing it earlier that night. I can't believe I did that. What ever happens tomorrow, will happen. I will face that when the time comes.

To be continued:

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