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I want to thank all the people that have helped me edit and critique this story. They are Angel O'Hare, Stacy Miller, Karen Page, Robi, Paula Dillon and especially Maddy Bell for allowing me to join her universe and giving me permission to write in it.

Based on the story Gaby, Book # 4 - Once Upon A Time In America By Maddy Bell

All Characters portrayed in the story are copywrited to Maddy Bell for her Gaby series found at Maddybell.com

Scene 12

 

Feminine Nightmare:

Wednesday (cont.)

She saw the look of horror cross my face and quickly said, “Don't worry Em, I'm not going to tell anyone, please calm down. I see you take being a girl seriously and you look great. You'll need to tell me your story sometime, but this is neither the time nor the place for it, at the moment. Don't worry dear, I'll not give you away and Mary doesn't know, I haven't told her. But if you feel you need to talk to someone, please look me up. I've a lot of first hand experience with these issues.” She saw me relax at this.

I looked at her and tears started to form in my eyes, and without saying anything I gave her the biggest hug I could. She smiled and hugged me back.

“Please wait for me, I want to get you something, I'll be right back.”

“Ok.”

I was in shock. She had read me. My first thought was, ‘What did I do wrong?' I looked in the mirror, and saw a pretty girl in a leotard and tights. How did she figure it out?

Without warning, she came back in, but this time she was carrying something but I couldn't see what it was. She said quietly to me, “Em, do you trust me?”

“Umm, I guess I have to, don't I.”

She smiled at me and said, “Please don't be afraid of me Em, I know what people like you are going through and I swore to help them in anyway that I could. So will you trust me?”

“Yes.” I started to feel comfortable with this woman.

“Do you consider yourself a transsexual, or just a cross dresser?”

“I consider myself a transsexual; I want to be a complete woman, at least as complete as I can be.” I quietly said.

“I thought so, I could tell by how you carried yourself and how you look. Please take off all of your clothes for me, if you would. I've something I think you will like.”

I was hesitant to do so, but she did ask me to trust her. I wiggled out of my leotard and tights, and she said, “Panties also, Em.”

I was standing completely naked in front of her. “Don't be ashamed dear, we are both girls after all, and when I give you what I have in the box, maybe more so.”

She pulled out something that looked like a piece of flesh. I asked her, “What is that?”

“This, my dear Em, is a professional gaff called a V-string, it is made by a company here in the states. They are usually custom made for people that like to look as authentic as possible, as a woman. When you put it on, insert your penis into this tube here, and then pull it all the way up. Using this, a cross dresser or TS can pass somewhat without having surgery. It may be a bit uncomfortable, but I think you will get used to it. They claim you can even have sex with it, but I wouldn't know, besides you're to young for that. They even claim that it will allow you to have a period, and really bleed like a woman, using a blood capsule. If we glue it in place, you would not know it wasn't the real thing, unless you look very carefully.”

I was amazed, matter of fact, I was speechless. Ellen proceeded to put the thing on me herself, and I just watched what she was doing. After she got it on, I looked in the mirror and my jaw dropped. I really did look like a woman down there. “Well what do you think Em? Do you like it?”

“Like it, I love it!” a little to loudly.

I heard Mrs. J say, “Are you ok in there, Em?”

“Oh yes, I'm fine Mary, I'll be out in a moment.”

“Do you want me to glue it into place then?”

“How would I go to the bathroom?” I quietly said.

“Remember the tube? That will allow you to go just like a real woman.”

“If I need to take it off, can I?”

“Yes using this glue remover solvent, you just put it on a little at time and peel it away from the skin.”

“Ok, go ahead and do it.” She smiled at me and proceeded to glue the gaff into place. Once she was done, you could not tell where the gaff stopped and my natural skin started. It even had its own pubic hair in a nice inverted V shape that matched my hair color.

She looked at me and said, “Would you like some assistance on top as well?”

“What do you mean?”

“Would you like to have a little larger breasts, to be more like the other girls your age? I see your own are coming, but it will be quite a while before they really start to show. These breast forms can help.”

“What the heck, ok go ahead and put them on me.” Drew you are not the only one with girl bits now.

She proceeded to glue the breast forms on me and showed me how to do it. She then applied a little of the latex makeup material and some powder. After she was finished, again you could not tell the breast forms weren't real breasts. She said. “It would be good to remove these forms once a week. Wash them with a mild soft soap. Before you put them back on, let your skin recover from them for at least 12 hours. Can you do this? If not, come here and I can help you to put them back on.”

“I can Ellen. How much is all this going to cost me? I have limited funds.”

Ellen looked up at me and said, “Consider them a gift from me, Em. However, the real price will be, when you and Sandy come over to my house and you tell me your story. Promise?”

I smiled broadly and started to tear up. Not being able to speak, I hugged her hard, and she hugged me back.

“There is no need to cry dear, let's just say, if it wasn't for my ex, I may not have been so benevolent. I'll tell you her story when we have time. Does Sandy know about you, Hun?”

“Yes she does, besides Miss Bell, My two teachers and chaperones Mr. Pillings and Miss Cowlishaw, Maddy, Gaby, Ally, Bernie, Jules, all from England, then there is the American host students Sabrina Jones, Britney and Debbie Walters, Darla Greenwood, and Amy Plokowitz. None of the parents know and they mustn't be told. It could get a lot of people into trouble if it was found out.”

“Mary and her husband do not know, so please don't tell them. They have a hard time accepting their daughter now. If they find out about me, I fear there will be a family war against not only Sandy, but me as well. So far Mary sees me as a true genetic girl, and please let it stay that way. Her husband hates what Sandy has become. He is an absolutely horrible individual when it comes to this subject.”

“Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll see what I can do about that, without giving you or Sandy away.”

“Please be careful Ellen. He is very volatile when it comes to this subject. He is a big prat and does not appreciate that he has a lovely daughter.”

“Ok Em, I'll take that under advisement. Now get dressed again and let me see what you look like, young lady.”

I tried on the outfit again, this time with breasts and a vagina. When I looked in the mirror, I was all girl. There was no Rhod there. I was so happy, I cried again, and Ellen said, “Em you are gorgeous. I assume those are tears of happiness?”

I just nodded my head vigorously. I came in as a girl with male bits, and I'm leaving as a girl with girl bits, with no male bits to be seen. I came out wearing my blue outfit with white tights and everyone turned to look at me. Ally was the first to say, “Oh wow Em, you look fabulous in that outfit. I think I'm going to be jealous.” She looked me up and down. I noticed her staring at my groin with a puzzled look on her face. Then I saw her shaking her head.

Mrs. J said, “Wow! Em you really do look good in that outfit, you need to purchase that one.” She came over to me, then primped and moved my leotard, so it lay better on my body. “The boys will really be drooling over you in that outfit. They are going to fight each other, over you.” as she laughed.

Sandy took a look at me, and she noticed I had some enhancements, she looked at my groin and she too had a puzzled look on her face.

Darla did the same thing as Sandy.

Ellen broke the gawking and said, “Right that is Em sorted for the moment. Em why don't you go over to the shoe section and see what dance slippers you can find, and try on a few. I'll work with Ally here and get her outfit situated.”

“Ok, I'll do that.”

Sandy, and her mum followed me over to the shoe department and we started looking at shoes. Darla went with Ally to help her.

While we were looking at the shoes, I noticed Sandy kept looking my way, checking me out. She kept looking at my groin, when she thought I wasn't looking at her. I smiled at her and mouthed the word LATER.

Mrs. J asked, “What size do you wear, Em?”

“I wear a size six, Mary.”

Mrs. J saw a pair of shoes that would look great with this outfit. She looked for a pair in my size and she gave them to me. I tried to put them on but found them very tight. I checked the size and they were indeed six.

“My, my, little lady, you must have grown bigger feet? Why don't we use this foot gauge and see what size you really are.”

Using the women's foot gauge, we found out my women's shoe size is an eight.

Embarrassed, I said, “Wow, I gained two sizes in my shoe, why did that happen, I wonder?”

“I don't know dear, but let's see if we can find a pair in that size.” Strange she doesn't know her own shoe size, Mrs. J wondered.

We searched the stock and found the correct size in that style. I put them on, and they felt wonderful.

Mrs. J said, “Why don't you try a little of your routine and see if they will stay on your feet and if they feel comfortable.”

I moved over to an open section in the store and started a warm up exercise by stretching. I liked to stretch before attempting a bit of the routine. When I finished stretching, I did the moves to our standard cheer. I even did the split at the end of it. This outfit felt really comfortable and I found I had more freedom of movement. The gaff and the breasts felt great, no pulling in the groin, and a bit of tugging on my chest, from MY BREASTS. I now understand why the need for a sports bra, or a bra in general. I didn't know it, but Ellen, Darla and Ally came out of the changing booth, just as I started the routine, and they all applauded when I finished.

Mrs. J just squealed and said, “Oh Em, that was wonderful. I liked your ending. It must really be nice to be a young supple girl and be so limber, that you're able to do the splits.”

Ally just looked at me, again with a puzzled look on her face. I just looked at her and smiled, as I got up from my split position.

Ellen went, “Wow Em, that was wonderful, you're a natural as a cheerleader.”

Ally and Darla just looked at each other, I knew they wanted to ask some questions, but couldn't.

“Wow, great outfit Ally, that green outfit is you, it really makes you look so hot.” Trying to change the subject off of me and on to something else.

She looked down at herself and said, “You think so?”

“Oh yes, the guys will be flocking around you too.”

Ally and Darla went to look at the dance shoes, while I looked over at the leg warmers, and picked out a light blue pair that contrasted beautifully with the leotards. I saw a light blue headband and tried it on. I moved over to the mirrors to take a look at myself, and I couldn't believe how I looked. I was gorgeous. If I was Rhod and I saw a girl like me, I would date her.

Ellen came over to me, and said, “Em, try this white, wrap around skirt with that outfit.”

I took the skirt from her and wrapped it around and snapped it on the side. This really looked cute. It was a short skirt but it somehow made the outfit really look hot. I looked at Sandy and asked her, “Well, what do you think Sandy?”

“Em if I was a guy, I would so date you girl, you're awesome.”

Mrs. J gave Sandy a funny look at that comment, but chose not to say anything.

I smiled at her. “Ellen, I'll take all of this.”

“Very good Em. Why don't you change and give me the items. I'll write them up and get your bill ready.” as she smiled at me.

I went back to the changing booth. Ally followed me and came into my changing booth with me. Once the door was closed, she whispered to me, “Ok spill, why do you look like a girl down below, and why are you so large on top?” pointing to my breasts.

I smiled at her and whispered back, “Ellen knows about me being a boy, she read me right off. I didn't get a chance to ask her what clued her in, that lead her to know that I'm a boy. I need to know, for I don't want that happening to me out there. Anyway, she gave me a few things as a gift. Let me take my outfit off, and you can see them.”

I pulled my leotards off and she was amazed at my breasts. “Wow Em, they look real, they even have freckles and veins in them, they match your skin color perfectly.”

Then I took my tights off and my panties, Ally looked at my groin, and her mouth popped open and she said, “What did you do? Did you cut it off? Did you have a sex change and you never told me?”

I saw that Ally was starting to freak out. “Shhhh, Ally it's ok, trust me. I'm wearing a professional gaff. It's glued in place, and it makes me look like a woman down there.”

“I'll say! You scared me. I thought you had some kind of secret surgery and you never told me about it. Wow Em you really look like a total girl, no one is going to know. How can you go to the bathroom wearing that?”

“I'm told I can go just like any woman and it comes out in the same place as a true woman. Ellen told me I could have sex like a woman in this gaff. She even said, if I buy the blood capsules, I can have a convincing girls monthly.”

“You're kidding me.”

“Not according to Ellen.”

“Why is she doing this for you?”

“I really haven't a clue.”

“Well you better get dressed Ms Morgan, we need to get going. It's getting late and Darla and I have to get home.”

She left me alone so I could finish getting dressed. I found my bra fitting rather tight. My real breasts were in pain. So much for getting my breast augmented, now I'd have to get some new bras. Need to put that on the to do shopping list. I looked in the mirror and noticed I really looked great. I was really starting to feel confident now, knowing that in a pinch, no one would be able to figure me out without really looking close. Now Gaby Bond, I'm as good looking as you, and I've my own girl bits too. I can't wait to show Gaby my bits, she is going to freak.

I went out to the cash register, and gave Ellen all the clothes I was going to purchase. She put them in bags, as she was ringing them up.

I turned to Ellen and said, “Ellen could I have a private chat with you for a bit, I need to ask you something personal.”

“Sure Em, step into my office.” I followed her to her office and I saw some very nice pictures of models and dancers on her wall. I saw a picture of a beautiful woman on her desk too. I asked her, “Who is that beautiful women?” pointing to the picture on the desk.

Ellen smiled and said, “Her name is Valerie, and she used to be my husband Bob.”

“Your kidding, she is absolutely gorgeous.”

“She is, isn't she, you remind me of her. You two look a lot alike.” She sighed, “Well, what is it you want to ask me, Em?”

“Ah well, … since you helped enhance my breasts, my bra does not fit right anymore. You wouldn't have a bra I could buy and wear could you? This one is a bit uncomfortable, and it's hurting my real breasts.”

“Certainly Em, I'm sorry I forgot to measure you and tell you what your new bra size is. Let me get my tape measure and please take off your top.”

I did what she requested and she measured me. “Em, you're an impressive thirty-two B, your between an A cup and a B cup, closer to a B cup, so I would recommend getting that size for you. Stay here and let me go find one for you.”

She came back in and said, “Here try this one on for size.”

I took off my bra and I put on the one that she gave me and I adjusted it. It felt much more comfortable, and supported me fine. I smiled at her and said, “Perfect fit Ellen, that feels a lot better.”

“Ok dear, keep that on, and I'll also ring that up for you. Are you happy with everything?”

“Oh Ellen, you do not know how happy you've made me feel tonight. I couldn't be happier and I'll never forget you.” I came over to her and gave her a big hug.

“Em, you don't know how you make me feel. It's like I have my own child in my arms. You make me feel so motherly. I never had kids, which is the one thing I regret not getting from my ex. Now she can't possibly give me a child, and for that I resent her a little. But all things considered I still love her.”

“You're one of a kind Ellen.”

“Thank you Em, you have really made me happy today. Please don't be a stranger. Give me a call sometime and I can come and pick you up and we can go somewhere and just chat. I would love to get to know you better. You're a true enigma dear, and a very beautiful Girl.” as she hugged me again.

“Oh, one other thing if I may?”

“Certainly dear. What is it?”

“How did you figure I was a boy? What gave me away?”

She smiled at me and said, “It wasn't anyone thing Em. When you came into my shop, I just felt there was something special about you, but I wasn't sure what it was. You do girl very well, I may add. You did something with a sweeping hand motion, and something wasn't quite right, although I couldn't put my finger on it. I think it was just a male flick of the wrist or fingers. It lacked something in grace; I just wasn't sure what it was. That, in itself, was not what clued me in that you were male. What really did, was when you were wearing the leotard, I noticed your equipment really didn't sit quite right. Knowing my Ex, the way I do, I knew immediately what it was. I don't think others would've figured it out. I guess you have to live with a trans-gendered individual to pick it up and know what to look for. That is truly what gave you away. I'm sure no one else would've figured you out otherwise. We took care of that little problem tonight, and if you wear that gaff, I feel you will be safer in schoo, especially in Gym class.”

“Thank you for telling me that Ellen. I was worried it was something else I did that gave me away.”

“No Em, like I said, you do GIRL very, very well.” as she hugged me.

I left her office smiling and carrying my old bra. I put the bra in the bags she gave me.

She rang them up and Mrs. J came over and gave Ellen her credit card saying, “Em save your money dear, I will pay for this.”

I protested and said, “But I'm not your daughter Mary, you don't have to pay for this.”

“Hush Em, It's my pleasure to do so. While you're here I consider you my daughter and it's my job to take care of you.”

“So does that mean I have to call you mum?”

“I would like that Em, if you did.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, why not, it would make me feel good, knowing I have a daughter for a few weeks.”

I looked at Sandy, and I saw her flinch. “You already have a daughter Mary.”

“Ahhh … well what I meant was, it's nice to have another daughter for a few weeks.”

Looking at Sandy, I saw this did not go down well, I know how she's feeling. In her own way, Mary still has problems dealing with Sandy. I gave a weak smile to Sandy to let her know I'm here for her.

Ellen then rang up Ally and she paid for her stuff.

Mrs. J said, “Does everyone have what they came for? Is everyone ready to leave?”

We all nodded our heads in the affirmative.

Mary turned to Ellen and said, “It's great to see you again Ellen. Let's get together soon and talk over old times. You know where I live now, so don't hesitate.”

Ellen gave her a hug, turned to Sandy and said, “You take care of yourself Sandy, don't be a stranger neither. Drop in once in a while, we've so much to talk about. Bring Em with you when you do.” She hugged Sandy and Sandy returned the hug.

We said our goodbyes and Ellen said, “Darla, Ally, stop in again, anytime.”

They both smiled at her and promised her they would.

We dropped Darla and Ally off at Darla's home.

Mrs. J said, “Where to now? The mall? To Wal-Mart?”

“Why don't we go to Wal-Mart mom? We can save the mall for the weekend. All we need is feminine hygiene products anyway and some miscellaneous stuff.”

That's what we ended up doing. We arrived at Wal-Mart and went inside. Mrs. J stuck close to us and I couldn't tell Sandy what had happened. We arrived at the feminine hygiene department and I was amazed at all of the products there. I didn't know that there were this many different products for tampons, and towels. I just stood there gaping. Mrs. J turned to me and asked, “What do you need to get, Em?”

“Umm … towels and tampons, Mary.”

“Towels? What are those, Em?”

“Um you know those things you put inside of … um … your knickers?”

“Knickers?”

“Um … pants, I think you call them.”

“You mean panties?”

“Yes that's right.”

“Oh you mean sanitary napkins. Ok, what brand do you use, and what style do you want?”

“Style?”

“Yes, do you want them for thongs, or regular panties. Do you want them for light flow days or heavy flow days, or do you need the Maxi pads for those extra flow days that uses a sanitary belt?” as Mrs. J turned to look at the products, she thought ‘Wow, she doesn't seem to understand what I'm talking about, she is acting like she never bought sanitary pads before.'

Oh, am I in big trouble now. Ally I wish you were here.

“Em, weren't you telling me you used the Carefree brand for light days, for your regular panties. You told me your flows were not that heavy?” Sandy said.

Mrs. J looked at Sandy like she shouldn't have understood that conversation.

“Yes, that's right, I did say I used that brand, we don't have this many brands back home, it just surprised me is all.”

I looked at a bemused Sandy; I could see she was having fun at my expense. I mouthed the words, “Thank you!” to her.

She mouthed the words, “Your welcome.”

“Here it is Em.” as Mrs. J pulled a box of Carefree sanitary napkins for light flow days, off of the shelves. “Ok what brand tampons do you want, and what style are you looking for?”

I was standing right in front of the tampons section and a box of Playtex Beyond multi-pack tampons, taunting a nine regular tampons for light days, and nine large tampons for heavy flow days inside, with the easy natural, plastic tip. I grabbed the box and said here they are, I like the plastic tips on the Playtex brand of tampons. They have two styles, for those light flow days, and heavy flow days, so I'll be covered for either contingency.”

“I agree with you Em, I use them myself. It's convenient, instead of having two big boxes of each. Don't you just hate getting periods? Sandy is so lucky … eh … oh never mind.”

I looked at Sandy, and the look was priceless. If looks could kill, Mrs. J would be on the ground dead, just about now. Mrs. J was embarrassed about what she was just about to say, and was back peddling pretty fast.

Of course I knew what she was going to say, and why. She was going to say, ‘Sandy is so lucky not getting periods or having to worry about them, like us.'

I would've laughed, but that would've been very crass. Beside, I wasn't to know about Sandy's condition,

“Ugh, yes Mary, it just makes me feel so unclean, and the cramps really stink.”

“Don't you know it.”

“Why was Sandy so lucky, Mary?”

I couldn't resist, I just had to put her on the spot. Sandy kicked me. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing and to yell out in pain that shot up from my leg. I gave Sandy a dirty look, and I saw her eyes staring daggers at me. Oops I guess it wasn't so funny after all.

“Oh, ah … well … she ah … never really experienced heavy cramping and her periods are pretty mild, aren't they dear?”

“Ah … yes they are mom, from the stories I hear from the other girls, I guess I'm pretty lucky.”

“What else was there Em?” Quickly changing the subject, for I saw she was embarrassed and had a crimson face.

“Let me think, ahhh … oh yes, a douche, I think you call it Masa something. Darla told me about it. I don't think they have our brands over here, so I thought I would try it.”

“Masagil Douche, Em?”

“Yes that's it.”

“That's over in this isle dear, as she led us on.”

We got to the isle and I saw many different type of douches. We found the Masagil brand, and there was one that promised to make you fresh and keep you fresh. I chose this one. “I'll try this one.”

“Ok Em, was there anything else you needed?”

“Well could we go look at some bras? Mine seem to be tight lately and Ellen got me a little bigger bra today that feels a lot more comfortable.”

“Sure, no problem you must be starting your growth spurt, it probably would be more prudent if you only bought a few, for you may grow out of them quickly. I know I did when I was your age.”

I looked at Sandy, and I could see she was fit to burst out with laughter. When her mother wasn't looking I kicked her in the shin.

“Oww, what you do that for?” she whispered.

“You were about to burst out laughing. Stop that.”

“Oh, sorry. But this is just too much is all, I can't help it.”

I smiled at her and said, “Sorry about the kick Sandy, but I needed to keep you from laughing.”

“I'm sorry also Em, for kicking you back there, but I thought you were going to blow it with my mom.”

“It's ok, I guess I kind of deserved that.”

I pulled her along, as we caught up with her mom heading for the lingerie department.

When we arrived, there came that proverbial question again, “What brand and style would you like, Em?”

Noticing the racks and racks of different styles and different manufacturers, I decided to say, “Let me look around Mary, let me see what styles they have.”

“Ok Em, that's fair. What size are you now?”

“Ellen told me I am a thirty-two small B cup. I'm between an A and a B cup size actually.”

“Ok Em, I'll look over here and you can start looking over there if you want and see what fancies you.”

I walked with Sandy over around the corner from Mary. I whispered, “What style do you think would look nice?”

Sandy smiled and started looking in earnest. She grabbed a few off the rack in different colors, and I felt some were heavily padded, and she said, “Here try these on. See how they fit and if they are comfortable. They also have some panties to go with them too. Do you know your panty size?”

“Oh gees, my mom usually buys those things, I haven't a clue.”

“Well once you get into the changing booth, look at the label in your panty, it should give you a size. Like a size two or four.”

“Good idea.”

About this time, Mrs. J came around the corner and had a hand full of bras also. Some looked really sexy. “Here Em, I've a few more in your size. Go over to changing rooms and try them on. I went over to the changing rooms and saw a little sign that said no more then six items at a time. I had about twelve items. The gal came over to me and said, “Oh bra shopping I see. Here, I'll take you to room four.”

“Um … I have twelve items ma'am?”

“Oh don't worry about that sign, that's only if we are real busy, then we enforce it.”

“Oh thank you ma'am.”

“No problem Hun.”

Sandy said, “Em you need any help?”

Mrs. J said, “She can handle it herself Sandy!” giving her a dirty look.

Sandy just raised her hands and said, “I was just asking mom. Remember, we are BOTH GIRLS mom.”

Her mom looked like she was going to say something to her, but bit her tongue and just turned away from her.

I was about to enter the changing room and said, “You know what Sandy, that's a good idea, why don't you come and help me.”

Mrs. J looked like she was going to kill someone, staring hard at Sandy. Sandy said, “I would be pleased to Em.” with a slight grin, she stared back at her mother and quietly said, “Remember I have my own set as well, mom. So I'll not be seeing anything I don't already see, when I'm naked and looking in the mirror.”

This made her mother stop and think.

Sandy looked back at her mother as she entered the changing booth with me. She wanted to make sure she was out of ear shot range of her. “Em what have you got on that makes you look so damn believable as a girl?” she whispered.

I took my top off, and showed her. “Wow they look real, they even have veins and freckles in the coloration of the breast form. Can I touch it?”

“Sure go ahead.”

“Wow, they even feel real. I take it Ellen gave them to you?”

“Yes she did, she gave me something else to.”

“I bet I know. Will you show me?”

“Later when we are home, I don't want anyone accidentally walking in on us and getting ideas, ok? Just in case.”

“Ok Em. You promise?”

“You know sisters don't keep secrets from one another.” as I gave her a hug.

“Oh don't forget to look at the tag in your panties to see what size it is. Girls always know what size they wear.”

“Good point Sandy.” I looked and found the tag and saw I was a size four.

We then proceeded to try on the bras. Some of the heavily padded ones made me look like I had real large breasts, and they pushed my breasts together, giving me large cleavage. Sandy told me to take at least one of those, for it would be great to wear to a formal with an evening gown. It would drive the boys to distraction. I then tried on the ones Mrs. J gave me and they were really comfortable and looked sexy. After a bit, Mrs. J said, “Are you girls ok in there? Can I come in and see?”

Sandy looked at me with questioning eyes. I looked in the mirror at myself, and I couldn't tell that my breast weren't real, so I said, “Sure, come on in.”

Mrs. J looked at the bra I was wearing, which was comfortable and looked sexy, and she said, “Oh Em that is lovely, that looks really good on you.” as she fiddled with the straps, making sure it was adjusted properly.

She looked at the other bras, and said, “Have you tried on this one?”

“Not yet.” I said.

“Well try this one on. It's a satin decollate bra and it will lift your breasts to give plenty of cleavage to drive the boys wild.”

Without hesitation I took the bra I was wearing off and put on the decollate bra. She saw me struggling to fasten the bra behind me, she said, “Didn't your mother ever show you how to fasten your bra up easier?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well did she never tell you to put the bra on backwards so you could hook it up, then turn it around and then fit your arms through the straps?”

Oh gees, what do I say now; this is something most girls know by now. How am I going to get out of this? Think, think?

“Oh yes she did, but I found I can usually do it quicker this way, and it doesn't stretch the straps so much.”

“Well that maybe true, and I guess you're limber enough to do it. As you get older you'll find it gets increasingly more difficult to do things like that and it's much easier to do it the way I described.”

Phew, she bought it.

“My look at you, that really gives you a bosom to be proud of Em. You must get this one; it will drive the boys mad. You're truly a lovely girl.”

Sandy was standing there watching all of this and I saw a look on her face that surprised even me. I'm not sure she was entirely happy with what her mom was doing. I need to talk with her tonight.

“What size panties do you wear dear?”

“Uh, size four. Why?”

“Well I want to buy you the matching panties that go along with these bras that you're going to keep. You'll feel so much sexier if your lingerie matches. I'll go out and find the panties for these bras.”

She left and I turned to Sandy and said, “Are you ok?”

“I'm not sure Em. My mother never had me wear sexy bras, nor told me I would drive the boys wild. She always told me that women wear cotton bras and panties to feel comfortable, that the satin bras were uncomfortable. I guess hearing her telling you the opposite just sort of struck me is all. I'm wondering why she never told me the things she was telling you. Those things about turning boys on and such.” I saw a tear rolling down Sandy's face.

“Hey come here.” as I hugged her. “I think she is still uncomfortable with you being a girl and still sees you as her son. She doesn't want you found out, for one thing. I also think she is not comfortable with the idea, about you going out on a date with a boy.”

“Oh Em, I thought she was beyond that. Why can't she accept me as a girl? I want the same things other girls want?”

“Sandy, it's rough on them. If you were not their child, I'm sure they would've accepted you for the girl you are. Since you are theirs it's different, they are finding it really hard. They have memories of very pretty boy named Adam. The fun times they had with you, when you were a boy. Now that boy has died, never to be seen again, and they are now grieving the death of their son. Maybe in time they will come around, and realize they have gained a wonderful, caring and loving daughter. I'll help in anyway I can Sandy. I'll try to make them understand you were never that little boy they wanted you to be. Being that boy was the masquerade and you were cross-dressed during that period of your life. You are, and always have been, this beautiful woman I see standing here in front of me.” as I hugged her tighter.

I felt Sandy return my hug and she sobbed even harder. “Em, I'm so glad you're here. I'm so lucky this all happened. It looks like you and I were destined to be together. Maybe this is God's answer to my prayers.”

We pulled each other apart, and I went to my purse and took out a tissue and said, “You better dry your face and check your eye makeup before your mom gets back.”

She chuckled and looked in the mirror. “Good grief your right. I look like a raccoon.”

After a bit, Mrs. J returned carrying some knickers that matched the bras that I decided to keep. Sandy just finished touching up her makeup.

“Here you are Em, these panties will go with the bras you want to purchase. Are you sure you are a size four? These look awfully big for you. Why don't you try one on and see.”

“Are you sure I should? I mean, can I?”

“Sure dear, just pull them over your own panties. We only need to check them for a fit.”

She then looked at Sandy, and saw her red eyes. “Are you ok Sandy? What's wrong?”

“Nothing mom.”

“Don't tell me nothing; something is wrong, so out with it.”

“Not here mom.” as she glared at her.

“Oh, … ok we will talk when we get home.”

I was starting to get embarrassed; I have to pull off my trousers in front of her, for she was not about to leave. Oh well here goes nothing. I pulled my trousers off, took the proffered panty and put it on. They were very loose.

“Um these are really big, I don't understand, my knickers are a size four.

“Let me get the lady that runs the department in here and have her measure you for size, oh Dear?”

“Umm … I guess?” I said, rather apprehensively.

“Em there is no need to worry dear, that is why she is here, to help you select the right garments. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”

She left to go get the lady to help us out. A moment later both of them came into the room, and Sandy walked out to give them some room to work.

“Don't be nervous Hun, I'll have to measure your waist, your hips, and then your thighs, then I can tell you your size.” as I stood there in my panties and bra. “Please separate your legs so I can measure your thigh dear.” as I did, “Ok stand up straight.” as she measured my waist, and my fattest point of my hips. “Uh-huh, ok you are a size two, Hun.” She turned to Mrs. J and said, “Ma'am your daughter is a size two.”

Mrs. J giggled and said, “Well she really is not my daughter, but my foreign exchange student from England.”

“How can that be? I have a tag in my knickers that say a size four?” I questioned, as I read them again.

“Oh if you are from Europe or England, there is a size difference between here and there. You people do sizes differently. I'm not positive but I believe in undergarments, you either have metric measurements, or your panty size is two sizes bigger than ours.”

“Oh that explains it, does that apply to shoes?” I asked.

“I'm not sure Hun, it may.”

Mrs. J said, “Oh that may explain it.”

“What's that Mary?”

“Why you didn't know your correct shoe size, and panty size.” but not why you acted like a newbie when we were at the sanitary napkins, she thought.

“I guess.”

“I'll go out and get you the correct panties Em”

“Thanks Mary.”

After a bit, she returned and I tried on one of the knickers and it fit perfectly.

I got dressed and met them outside of the changing area.

We went to the checkout and as I was grabbing my purse, out of my handbag to pay, Mrs. J said, “Put that away Em, I got it.” as she handed over her credit card to the cashier.

I started to protest, but she shushed me. “It's nice to pay for my daughter's things.”

I saw Sandy flinch at that comment.

“Thank you Ma … ah … mum, but you don't have to do this.”

“Yes I do, Em.”

I stopped arguing. I started to wonder if it was a good idea, to call her mum. She seemed to be taking this, like I really was her daughter. I don't think Sandy is too happy about it either.

We left Wal-Mart. The drive home was quiet. Looking out at the dark scenery, I noticed that it was starting to snow in soft, gently falling, flakes. When we arrived home, Mrs. J said, “Sandy, why don't you come inside and help me make a quick dinner. Em could you take your stuff to your room, then meet us back in the kitchen?”

“Sure Mary, I'll be back shortly.” I noticed Mr. J's car was not here yet.

I took all of my stuff up to my room, including my schoolbag. I looked in the mirror and noticed I need to comb my hair and needed a touch of makeup. I decided I needed to go to the loo too. After doing my business and getting everything touched up, I donned my coat and went over to the main house. As I neared the house, I could hear a rather loud conversation going on. I couldn't hear what was being said, until I got closer.

I could tell Sandy was not happy, neither was Mrs. J.

I heard Sandy yelling, “We will have the sleepover, I don't care what you or dad think! I'm a big girl now, and you treat Em better than you do me! The things you told Em in the store, when she was bra shopping, that this would turn guys on and this will give you a great bosom; you never told me these things. You kept telling me I needed to wear cotton bras because they were functional and the satin bras were uncomfortable. Mom I'm a girl, I'm not a boy, I never was. Why can't you accept that and really help me to be a better woman. You won't even let me go on dates. You're treating me like a leper. You don't care a damn about me. You want your son back and he will never be back, face it or lose me!”

“I'm only protecting you dear. What would a boy do if he takes you out on a date and he gets amorous? What do you think he will feel if he gets his hands on you, and reaches under your skirt. huh? Do you think he is going to be happy? Do you think he is going to like what he feels? Do you think he is going to say, “Wow? This is nice?” I'm trying to protect you and the family. What do you think will happen if people find out about you, about us, about our jobs, huh? How do you think I feel when a friend comes to you and remembers Adam and wonders where he is, and I have a daughter his age, where, before, I had no daughters at all? How do you think I feel huh? What am I suppose to say? Oh this is my son Adam, now my daughter Sandy. What do you think they are going to say? I can't even talk about you. You have no history. I have a history with my son. What am I suppose to say?” as I heard her crying.

“Mom I'm sorry. I know this is tough on you. It's tougher on me. You have fought me, all this time; you never even took the time to get to know me. I love you mom. I wish you would love me in return. … I wish I was dead then I wouldn't be hurting anyone.”

Mrs. J screamed, “Don't you ever say that again! I may not show it all of the time, but I do love you, I love you very much. It's just, … it's hard on us. It has to take time for us to understand why you are, who you are. Don't ever think we don't love you dear. I just fear for you, I'm trying to protect you.”

“You have a funny way of showing that love mom. Can't you accept me as your true and natural daughter, and be proud of me too. I don't like yelling at you, I love you so much it hurts, can't you show me the same?”

I heard her walk over to Sandy and hug her. “Oh Sandy I love you so much, please do not think I don't. If you feel like you want to do yourself in, please see me first or go to your psychologist and let her know. You're a beautiful woman, and I agree with you, I don't see anything left of Adam. It's … just … so hard is all.” I heard her sniffing.

“I'll let you have your sleepover, but I was worried someone would find out about you, and what they would do. That's all. I know dad is not going to like it one bit, and he will probably throw a huge fit when he finds out.”

“Well can we keep it from him and not tell him what we are planning on doing?”

“I suppose we can dear, at least we can try. Stop your crying Sandy; you need to freshen your makeup, as do I before Em shows up. Let's go to the bathroom and hurry. Remember this Sandy, I love you very much, don't ever think I don't. It's unconditional. Please bear with me if it seems I don't always show it.”

They both gave each other a tight hug. I could see them through the kitchen window. I had a tear in my eye. I waited for them to leave the kitchen before I made my entrance.

I though back to my mother and realized just how lucky I am, that she totally accepts me fully as a girl. Poor Sandy, I need to get her mum to totally accept Sandy, I need to think how to do this. I decided it was time to enter the house.

I didn't realize how cold I got, listening to that exchange. I noticed it stopped snowing again. I took off my coat and hung it up on the coat rack. I moved over to the kitchen counter and noticed nothing was done yet. They must have been having it out ever since I left them. I guess I better wait for them to see what they want to make.

I need something warm to drink tonight; I put a teakettle of water on the stove to boil.

Just then I heard the kitchen door open from the living room.

“Hi Em, just in time to help. How does a Soy meat, Sloppy Joe sound?” Mrs. J asked.

“What is that?”

“Well, we fry the Soy meat in a skillet, then put in onion, tomatoes, bell peppers, and various seasonings and let it simmer, then we scoop the meat up and put it on a bun. I haven't ever made this with Soy meat though, so I'm not sure how good it's going to taste.”

“Yum sounds delicious. I've had Soy meat before and it tastes just like beef, except maybe a tad dry.”

“Good. Get the skillet out of that cupboard over there and here is the Soy meat.” as she removes it from the refrigerator and hands it to me, “Em could you chop up this onion and sauté the onion in butter, then fry the meat with the onions. As soon as Sandy comes from the bathroom I will have her chop up the bell peppers and let her add the spices. Would you like anything else with the meal?”

“This sounds lovely. No I think I'll be ok with what we are having.”

“Fine, I have a cheesecake for desert, with cherry topping.”

“Mmmmm, that sounds delicious. Where is your cutting board?”

“Oh, that is over there in that cupboard.”

I got the board and started slicing up the onion into little pieces and my eyes started to water. I was going to rub my eyes but Mrs. J said, “Don't rub your eyes dear, it will only make them tear up worse. Move closer to the sink with the board, and run some water, I find it helps to keep the onion spraying the juices at you.”

I did what she asked, and the stinging eyes didn't get any worse.

“Hey, hi Em, I see my mom got you cooking already.”

“Sandy please chop up the bell peppers and give it to Em to fry.”

“Sure mom.”

“Where is Kevin tonight, Mary?”

“Oh Kevin is with Elaine Hutter. You remember her, you met her the other day when she dropped off Kevin.”

“Oh yes, I remember her.”

“She should be dropping him off soon, I would think.”

“I just noticed how quiet it was tonight.” Giggling.

“Yes he can be rather noisy, can't he? Well don't worry, he will be here shortly to make you feel welcome.”

I chuckled at that, and so did Sandy. It was good seeing Sandy chuckling again. I still need to talk with her tonight though. I can see this was quite an emotional evening for her. I finished frying up the meat for the Sloppy Joes; Sandy added the seasonings and the tomato sauce, it smelled delicious. Mary pulled out the buns and Sandy and I set the table, so we were ready to eat. I used the hot boiled water to make myself a cup of hot chocolate, and Sandy asked if I could make her one also. Just as we were about to sit down, Elaine showed up with Kevin. Kevin came rushing to me screaming and gave me a hug, I hugged him back, then he went to his sister and did the same.

“Here's your baby Mary.”

“Thanks Elaine, was he any problem?”

“Not at all Mary. Matter of fact he couldn't have been better. He couldn't stop talking about the fabulous Em.” as she looked at me smiling. “Seems she is a wiz at playing computer games.”

I just smiled at her.

“Want to stay for dinner Elaine? We have enough Sloppy Joe for all of us.”

“Thank you Mary, I would love to but hubby is home waiting for his dinner, so I have to run.”

“Do I owe you anything dear?”

“Not at all Mary, we enjoyed having Kevin over especially Josh, he loves Kevin being there, they had a lot to do together. Besides you got your hands full with Em and Sandy. It's the least I can do.”

“Thanks again Elaine, I really appreciate you doing this for me.”

“No problem. Have a good evening girls, see ya Kevin, you all be good, hear.”

“I'm always good aunty Elaine.”

Smiling, “I know you are Kevin, see you all later. Bye!”

We all said our byes to her.

Mary said, “Kevin you want to eat some Sloppy Joes with us? We made it specially for Em?”

“Oh goody, sure I'll try some.”

I smiled at him and went to the kitchen to get another place setting. After placing that on the table we all sat down, said a prayer of thanks and we dug in.

After taking a bite of the concoction, it tasted great. “Hmmm this is delicious.” Everyone was in agreement.

Kevin said, “Was this special for you Em?”

“Well sort of Kevin.”

“Well I think it's awesome. I like it.”

I smiled at him.

We got our cherry covered cheesecake for desert, and Kevin was on a sugar high. Kevin asked if I could play a game with him, and I told him, “Sorry Kev, I need to help with the cleanup and I need to go back to our room to do my homework for school tomorrow. I promise to play a game with you tomorrow ok?”

Kevin frowned, and said, “Ok. But you promise you will play a game tomorrow, right?”

Smiling, “Yes Kev, I promise.”

Sandy and I helped Mary cleanup the dinner dishes, and we said our goodbyes and went to the carriage house.

Once there, we hung up our coats I turned to Sandy and said, “Are you ok Sandy?”

“Not sure Em, I guess everything just sort of came in on me all at once. I sort of had it out with my mom.”

I wasn't sure if I should tell her I heard and saw what was going on.

“I guess mom was sort of looking out for me, but still she wouldn't let me be who I want to be and it just sort of got the better of me. I sort of yelled at her.”

“I heard Sandy, I was coming across and I couldn't miss hearing the spat.”

“Sorry Em, you weren't supposed to hear that.”

I went over and gave her a hug, and said, “Sandy, you know I'm here for you and I'll help you in any way that I can.”

“I know Em and I'm very thankful you're here.”

We got ready to do our homework and I asked her, “You want anything to drink?”

“Why don't you put some water on to boil, and we will make some hot chocolate again.”

“Sounds good to me.” as I put a kettle with water on to boil.

“Well sis, are you going to show me what Ellen gave you today?”

I needed to get ready for bed anyway so I said, “Sure give me a minute.”

I went to my room and got undressed. After doing all the things necessary for bed, I put on my nighty, and donned my nice light blue, satiny robe. I walked over to Sandy's room and said, “You ready?”

Sandy turned to look at me and said, “Go ahead, I'm ready.”

I dropped my knickers and showed her how I looked down below. Her eyes were on stalks, and said, “WOW! If I didn't know any better I would've thought you had your SRS already. That looks real in everyway. I need to get one of those.”

“Ellen said with this gaff, I can pee with it on, just like a woman, I can have sex, like a woman, and bleed, like a woman having her period, if I get the blood capsules they sell for it.”

Sandy came over and took a closer look and said, “Wow Em, you really look like a girl down there, you can't tell were the gaff stops and your real skin starts. I can just see were it is, but I really needed to look close. I need to talk with Ellen and see if she can get me one. I love it. You really are one lucky girl Em.”

I pulled my knickers back up and we got into our routine for homework. Sandy went and made the hot chocolate after the water was done boiling. She brought me my cup, and placed it next to me on the desk.

“Thanks Sandy.”

“You're welcome Em. I was just thinking about you and the recent enhancements. You realize you could probably shower with the rest of the girls and they would never twig you aren't a genetic girl. If Dan tries to threaten you, or tries to tell other people about you, you have the tools to protect yourself and make him look like a fool. You may want to buy those blood capsules Em. If he gets one of the girls to spy on you and check you out, to prove that you're male, since males don't do monthly's and bleed, if you do then it's proof you're a genetic girl, and it will make him look like a fool, just a thought. You can tell him if he ever asks that you were pretending to be a boy when he was there, that Mfanwy is who you really are.”

“Hmm you know you're right, I'll have to talk with Ellen and see what she thinks. She now knows about both of us, and she wants to talk with us both about how we became this way. I think it's her psychology thing kicking in, I guess. She said that would be my payment for these enhancements. When do you think we go to her?”

“Well, let's see how it plays out tomorrow. I know we have to go out and get the stuff for the sleepover.”

“So is the sleepover still on then?”

“Yes, I told my mom we'll do it regardless of what my dad thinks about it. If I can get one of those gaffs, I could protect myself, and there would be no chance of discovery. That's why I would like to see Ellen again. I know it would probably blow my mother away if she ever found out, but it would also defuse her about me being discovered. Wow what a rush that would be.” as she laughed. “Let's see if we can go to her tomorrow. The sooner the better.”

“She gave me her phone number, you think we should call her first and set this up?”

“Good point Em. Lets do it now before we forget. I'm excited about this.”

Sandy called Ellen at home. “Hello Ellen, this is Sandy Jones. … Yes it was great seeing you too, even though it was a shock at first. … Yes my mom almost had a heart attack when you approached her, especially when you asked about Adam. The other kids and my roommate aren't supposed to know about me, and they don't except for Em that is, but my mom doesn't know Em knows, and that was why she was worried, plus how you would've reacted if and when you found out about me. … Yes she is very happy you took it well. We had a little heart to heart about the incident, and she is still missing Adam. … Yes she still loves me, I know. … Yes my dad does not like what is happening at all, and he is fighting me every chance he gets. He even tells my brother to refer to me as ‘he' and ‘him', and that I'm still his brother. Em got my brother straightened out, and he now refuses to call me by those male pronouns, he knows I'm his big sister, and he now refers to me that way, much to the anger of my dad. Wth Em here he can't say anything since she supposedly doesn't know anything about me, and he has to keep it a secret. … Yes it's funny to see him struggling. … Ellen the reason I called, could we meet with you some time, like say tomorrow evening? … You could? That's great. … Well the real reason is, I saw Em's gaff, and I think it's fabulous, and I was wondering, would you have another? … You do? … Could I by chance buy one then? … You will? … My story? Sure no problem, you already know most of it anyway. … Thank you Ellen, I don't know what to say. … Just out of curiosity Ellen, how much do those things cost? … Two hundred and fifty, oh wow, are you sure you don't want me to pay something? … Thank you Ellen you're the best. … Ok, we will stop by tomorrow. Thank you ever so much Ellen you're a lifesaver. … I'm looking forward to it. … Thank you again. … Goodnight Ellen, bye.”

As she hung up the phone, she looked over at me, and I saw tears in her eyes, I went over and gave her a hug, she looked like she needed one. She sobbed on my shoulder, and I let her until she got her composure back.

“That went well Em. She said she would give me one also. She said her payment would be my story. I guess she is doing some type of research paper, and she wanted to include both of our stories in it. I never knew how my mother's roommate would be such a big help. Maybe with her, I can get my mom to come around and she start to see, that she never had a son, and always had a girl. Em, you being here has really got things moving for me, I never thought I would ever have a social life like I'm starting to have. I can't thank you enough Em. I love you sis.”

“I love you too sis.”

I let her compose herself, while I was thinking about my social life and me; I guess I really have been lucky after all.

“Well I better head to bed, Sandy. This has been one exciting day, and I'm tired.”

“No Problem Em, I understand. We did do quite a lot today didn't we?”

“Yes we did.” I gave her a quick hug and said, “Goodnight Sandy”

“Night Em, sleep well.” as we turned off the lights, then went to our bedrooms.

I pulled out my journal.

Day Four, Wednesday

Wow what a busy day we had today. After school the gang all met at Jack's Diner. We had a ball. The foresters did an impromptu cheer for the Americans and we got to know some of the other cheerleaders. They are a fun group.

Mrs. Jones came for us at the diner to take us shopping. Sandy, Ally, Bernie and I went with her to a Dance shop owned by an Ellen Burke. Ally and I had to get a PE kit for school. This was leotards, tights, dance shoes, and other things necessary for the class. Miss Burke turned out to be one of Mrs. J's old college roommates when she attended college. She was a big help in more ways than I can describe here. Sandy and I will be going back there tomorrow, to get Sandy kitted up.

We have to get ready for a sleepover Saturday evening. We have invited all of the gang and their hosts to stay with us that night. It looks like it will be an exciting evening; I hope that everyone can make it.

I put the journal down and turned off the light. I put my head on the pillow, and I smiled, feeling all of my girl bits, thinking about how tomorrow may go. I fell asleep and had pleasant dreams.

To be continued:

 

Joni W 09.10.05 (revised 25.01.06) © 2006
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