Ever since I was small I've been fascinated by rag dolls. I've no idea what the attraction is, maybe its because they don't look human like most dolls or maybe it's the often garish outfits they are dressed in. whatever it is I have over the years accumulated a small collection of the things – much to my friends amusement.
I realised a couple of years ago that this fascination was starting to become more serious, a fetish if you like. The occasion was a fancy dress party at work and yep I hired an outfit, the garish dress, yellow wool wig and clumpy Mary Janes. I had a great time but afterwards I felt a bit let down – the outfit was great – as far as it went. I mean you could tell what I was dressed as but in my mind I didn't look right.
That sparked something and I started work on my ‘Ultimate Raggedy Anne' (URA) costume! The hired costume was actually quite shoddy, one size fits lots and made of nasty rayon. The wig was actually nylon and after an hour it was more than a bit hot and uncomfortable. I started to draw up my plans, foremost of which was finding a dressmaker as I'm terrible at that stuff! Do you know, I've still no idea why I embarked on ‘URA', its not like there was another party to go to.
It took about six weeks but Janet, that's my seamstress, came up trumps. It was a navy and white striped pinafore, cut loosely just like my dolls. Best of all it was made of a heavy cotton and she'd made some short bloomers in navy too. Was I excited!
I hadn't been sitting idly myself, after a search on the interweb I had found some great shoes – I had to buy them from Japan but thankfully my size sevens just about get in a Japanese large! A trawl on Ebay ® found some hoped over knee stockings, pink and white this time – you can carry a theme too far. A trip to my local John Lewis supplied some proper sheeps wool in a blonde yellow shade, bridesmaids cap would provide the base.
Excitedly I donned my new outfit. This was so much better than the hired outfit, just the weight of the material felt better and although still quite warm to wear even my homemade wig looked better. I painted my face carefully then couldn't resist getting the camera out – thank god I bought one with a self timer thing. I spent the rest of the day prancing around my flat , I was happy but there was still something missing.
I finally put my finger on it two days later – I still looked like me dressing up, not like a rag doll. This was a problem that took a bit longer to overcome, in fact almost three months. I was actually looking on Ebay for nothing in particular when I clicked on a previous search for ‘costumes'. And there it was, the solution. I feverishly clicked on a couple of the auctions – wow these ‘zentai' suits are just the answer. A few clicks later and I sat back to wait.
If you don't know what Zentai are, I didn't either. Essentially they are like a long sleeved catsuit but with integral hands, feet and hood. Mine was coming from Hong Kong, the suit cost $10 but shipping was $40! Apparently in Asia it's a popular costume thing, to me it was a way of dehumanising my appearance.
A couple of weeks later I picked up the parcel and excitedly headed home to play. It was kind of weird being encased in the zentai, all your blemishes are suddenly gone, you become somehow ‘flat' – just what I was hoping. I quickly donned my Raggedy outfit, put on the wig and looked in the mirror. Hmm, pretty good, need to sort out the face but I had a plan for that, the disappointment was the wig. Before I could pin it in place but in the suit that wasn't possible so it kept slipping off my apparently bald head. Time for a rethink.
The following couple of weeks were intense on the URA project, I worked on the face, carefully sewing the features onto the zentai hood. I thought I'd blown it with the eyes as my first attempt effectively blinded me. After some thought I came up with a solution, I carefully cut out the pupil and although my vision was limited it was clearer than through the hood.
Of course the other problem was the wig. I tried various things, hook & eye, press studs, Velcro but they just didn't work well enough. Think sideways – why not attach the ‘hair' directly to the suit? I used my dolls to work out how to do it and twenty ounces of wool later my suit had hair. I resisted the temptation to try it on there and then – tomorrow, Sunday, I would be Raggedy Anne all day!
Well believe me, it exceeded my expectations. I dressed carefully in the zentai, added the clothing and shoes then there she was in the mirror – Raggedy Anne! I nearly orgasmed on the spot, my feelings at seeing myself were that intense. Of course I got the camera out and it's a good job its digital as I took nearly 200 pictures during the day. I posed in Raggedy style doing everything from making tea to sitting watching telly. It was great, I really didn't want to take it off but about six my bladder got the better of me so I had to strip off.
When I checked out the pictures that evening it was clear there was something missing though – more outfits! Not just that but was there some way to increase the wear time? I set too on URA2!
The second zentai incorporated several new features, a crotch zip so I could take a toilet break and as my dolls only had two fingers and a thumb it was only fair that I did too. My previous experience certainly saved a lot of time when the new suit arrived!
Janet was commissioned to make two more outfits – another pinafore in pink and white stripes and a sort of Alice in Wonderland dress. I freed up a weekend this time, I would dress Friday night and stay as Raggedy until Sunday evening. Talk about an intense weekend – the ‘toilet access' worked a treat even if I could only wear a panty pad inside the suit. The mouth hole I added allowed me to drink through a straw – those nutrition shakes are not that pleasant but they kept me going through the weekend.
URA2 kept me satisfied for several months, more outfits were added to the wardrobe – always based on one of my actual dolls of course. I tried dressing in ordinary clothes one or twice but whilst it looked okay it just didn't give me the same thrill.
Now I've not told you much about me – well nothing to be fair, but my position at work, I'm a legal secretary was starting to look tenuous, the firm wasn't doing too well and there was talk of redundancies. It wasn't like it was my first career choice so when they mentioned what they were offering I volunteered. It wasn't happening for three months so there was time to look for work so I started on the search.
Of course I got sidetracked – big style which is why I'm unemployed just now – a situation I don't feel ready to change.
I don't know quite what set me on this particular course, the URA suits were starting to get a bit weary, the first one was definitely losing its stretch in places and they were both getting a bit bobbly. I started to think about URA3 which, I hoped, would last longer, be more wearable and comfortable, maybe I could be Raggedy for a month?
So instead of looking for a new job I found myself researching materials and manufacturing techniques. I quickly became expert on the properties of breathable material and slowly an idea started to form. URA3 would be a closely tailored zentai made of Goretex ® which would be much more comfortable and hardwearing.
I managed to source the material from Taiwan and instead of sewing it together I settled on using hi tech adhesive that would eliminate bulky seams. I left my employment still without work lined up but the same night I started on my new zentai.
URA1 was already in pieces to use as a pattern and I lit in with enthusiasm. By the end of the weekend URA3 was ready to try on even if it still needed some stuff doing. What a disaster! It was loose where it should be snug and visa versa and looked just totally wrong. What had gone wrong, I used the other suit as a pattern didn't I? I put on URA2 and went to bed.
Although I'd slept in the suits before it was when I looked in the mirror next morning that the answer hit me, instead of wearing Raggedy Anne I should become her! But wasn't that where I started?
That was three weeks ago, its taken me that long to get everything in place. In the next few minutes I'll become Raggedy Anne semi permanently – I'm planning on a month to start with then see how it goes. After some thought I realised the problem with URA3, the panels were too big and not shaped enough but using the glue I could make it fit me much better by using smaller pieces of cloth – it's a good job I had to buy fifty metres! It was as I moulded several pieces to my calves that the ultimate solution dawned on me – don't just glue it to itself but to me as well, that way it would be a real second skin! Some research online came up with a medical adhesive that would even let everything breath – I'd need some sort of release agent to get it off but I could even dispense with the zippers!
Which brings me to today. All the sections are cut and ready, the adhesive is in the applicator I just need to do it! Of course I've prepared myself - Zeet ® from my neck down, wow it feels weird to be so naked. I did a dry run with my solution to my hair, another Ebay purchase from a fetish store, an open face rubber hood. Well it seemed like a good idea but the reality was a little different, it was hot, tight and I'd be lucky if I could last an hour in it. Bum what now? Then it hit me, I'd done everywhere else after all. I dressed and made a last trip out to the real world.
An hour later I was in tears, the electric shears had reduced my shoulder length hair to an uneven mess and I really was having second thoughts. With a deep breath I started spreading the Veet over my head. It only took ten minutes and I didn't recognise the hairless alien looking back from the mirror, more naked than the day I was born.
Nearly done, only my hands left now. I've left them to last so I had full use of them as I worked. I haven't looked in the mirror yet – I won't until its cured and I've dressed. My ‘holes' are covered by flaps which gives me a sexless appearance down there and by bee sting breasts were never a problem! I carefully spread super glue along my little and index fingers and squeezed the digits together – that's done it!
So here I am, Raggedy Anne, the human rag doll. I surveyed my image, my yellow wool hair, permanent smile and cloth skin, the original outfit covering my modesty. I smiled to myself – hello Raggedy!
Maddy Bell 08.01.08 © 2008