Sandy
I am Sandy Jones, a Trans-sexual girl. That means that I am a girl born in a boys body. For awhile, I did not know that I was not like other girls until I met them on the playground. I knew that I was different when I saw other girls on the playground playing. They had long, pretty hair and some wore dresses or skirts.
When I asked my Mom about them, she told me that they were girls, not a boy like I was. After that, I wanted to wear dresses or skirts like them, but I had no girls to play with.
So I began to wear shorts and sandals like the girls did and they began to play with me and invite me over to play. I was in heaven because I could now be a girl just like them. Those were happy times for me.
Soon I was playing dress up with them and when their parents found out, they thought that it was so cute to see me in a dress and tights like their girls. I was in Heaven until my dad found out. When my dad found out, he grounded me from seeing them. He yelled at me about things that I did not know about and began to check to see that I was wearing boys briefs and socks. He wanted to make sure that I was not turning into a sissy.
Why couldn't my dad see the truth about me? Why couldn't he see that I was a girl in a boys body? Why couldn't he love me and let me be his daughter? I wanted to be able to snuggle with him and hear him call me "Princess," but now I know that will never be.
After that, the girls that had befriended me stayed away from me because of my dad and his anger. I started to wither away and die until I started auditioning for plays.
As I grew up, I succeeded in getting girl's parts in the schools plays and when not in the play, I worked backstage. There I learned about makeup and clothing and how to pass as a girl.
Every Halloween, I was a girl, I would dress as a nurse, cheerleader or some other girl much to my dad's chagrin. He would not help me to be a girl, I had to spend my allowance to get my costumes and he would donate them to charity after
Halloween so that I couldn't wear them again.
In my freshman year, I started my transition into becoming Sandy thanks to my therapist. Since I was attending a new school, I was able to attend as a girl. I got an excuse from P.E. thanks to my therapist, if not, I would have been outed when I changed clothes.
My dad started speaking ill of me and called me vile names, but my
Mom saw that I needed her help and gave me the keys to the cottage
out back so That I could be myself without dad's venom to poison
me.
Dad might not like me being a girl, but he will not do anything to cause me harm. There have been many chances for him to out me to the public, but he has kept my secret.
I began to work at Jack's Diner as a waitress, His uniforms are a white blouse, red apron and a black skirt or pant I could choose either but with a skirt, I had to wear pantyhose or black tights.
Jack is real good to me and treats me like I am his daughter. He knows about my secret and does what he can to help me. He does not judge me for which I am grateful. To me, he is my adopted Daddy.
My best friend was like me and helped my Mother and baby brother to accept me as Sandy, for that, I am eternally grateful. Em came over from England on the Cultural Exchange Program and we would have never met if not for Dan and his attitude.
Dan was a part of the program and was paired with Rhod Morgan, what was not known was that Rhod was also dressing as Em because of his dad.
His dad did not marry his Mother and now he wanted to take his son away, Mz. Morgan dresses Rhod as Em to keep her son, but his dad still wanted Em as a daughter and would once a month have Em visit him in Wales.
It was after the latest visit that Dan found out about Em and that was when he hurt Em and Sabrina. I was appalled to here about his attitude, but then again, my dad feels much the same way.
Well, when Em came over, I found a real cool friend and sister. She has helped me in so many ways that I can never repay. She was sent to me because Dan was disqualified and I was chosen by the school. I guess that it was because they know about me and they felt that Em and I would get along together. Well, we did.
Em was able to help me to bond with my Mother and baby brother. Now Mother has begun to look at me as her daughter and my brother calls me his sister, Em is Auntie Em to him too.
But things were not always so nice and I am the main cause of it because of my silly envy of Em's bonding with my family. Mother started treating Em as if she was her daughter, not me!
It was as if I was not there. I really let Em have it, knowing that she was not at fault, but I could not hurt my Mother, so I hurt Em instead.
Em was a true lady and never uttered a word of rebuke to me, she simply got my Mother to finally see me as her daughter. Now I want to make amends, but I did not know how until Josh showed his true colors.
He invited Em to go see a movie on a group date, but later arranged it so that they went alone with his Mother as escort. She dropped them off and tried to make Em do things a lady will not do and when she told him off, his Mother took up for him.
As if Em should have let that cad get lucky at her expense!! I have been there before and know how Em feels. I was able to help her deal with that cad, but I still think that he got of lightly.
Em has had nightmares from her date with that Josh that has had her drenched with sweat. Her nightmares over Dan and my dad are as bad, if not worse. In her nightmares, she is not in control and her secret is discovered.
Oh how I want to comfort her, but I do not know how! I have those type of nightmares myself. All that I want is to be a girl and be accepted by my friends, but I am afraid that if they find out that my life will become a living hell and my family will be hurt.
I could never stand to see Mom or Kevin hurt, my dad is another matter entirely. Him, I would not mind seeing having to deal with such issues, and he now must thanks to his big mouth.
Dad made the big mistake of insulting a customer much like me, when dad found out that the customer was a girl with boy bits [as Em would say], dad got mad and refused to wait upon her. To make matters worse, he called her names.
Now, he has to see a therapist about his issues on the trans-gendered. What he has done recently is very funny in retrospect, he had an affair with one of my trans-girlfriends.
If he ever found out that he had sex with one, he'd have a fit. The only reason that I do not tell him the truth is that he would hurt and maim her and that is not right. He barely tolerates me as it is.
Dad will listen to Em whom he thinks is a real girl, he will not
tell her that I am not a real girl and can not justify the way that he mistreats me without telling the truth which he will not do.
Em has used this against him to help him to see the truth of how
much he has hurt me. If she can bring him around to accepting me,
I will finally be my Daddy's Princess, on that day, I will cry
tears of joy instead of teas of grief.
If dad ever discovered that Em was really Rhod, he would treat her worse than he does me, but at least now that is not about to happen at least physically thanks to Ellen and her gifts to Em and me. Ellen gave Em a set of realistic breast forms that look like the real thing and she have s both gaffes with an artificial vagina. Now we both look like real girls and can actually take showers with girls and have sex with boys. Ellen was married to her now Trans-girl Life Partner Veronica. Veronica is a beautiful model. You cannot tell that she used to be a man. Ellen saw through Em's disguise and gave us our gifts to help us to pass as girls. Without her gifts, we would not have the courage to truly be the girls that we are inside.
It was a good thing that Ellen gave us our gifts for Em, because otherwise, she would have been outed and hurt. Three boys accosted her and pulled her into the boy's resrroom. Then they pulled down her panties to see if she was a girl.
Luckily, Em was wearing her gaffe and all that they saw was a girl. Then those same boys were put on probation for their stunt. Em kept them out of trouble, but if they cause anymore trouble, they will go to jail. They did one thing though for Em, they beat up Dan.
Dan had told them that Em was a boy and encouraged them to out Em because he couldn't without getting expelled. Those boys trounced him for lying to them and for getting them into trouble. I do hope that they all learn their lesson.
I not only am a waitress at Jack's; I am also a student teacher at Augusta High School. I want to be a teacher one day and helping out at school is a great learning experience for me.
I would love to one day become a teacher here at Augusta and give back to the community that has helped me so much as I have learned about myself.
I know that even after my surgery, that I can not bear children, that is a secret burden that all special girls like me share. Em has shown me that there are always possibilities. I know that one day, that I will meet a guy that will love me for who and what I am. I hope that by then that my dad will accept me as his daughter and will be happy for me. But I will not let his anger hurt me upon that day, if he can not accept me by then, I will ask Jack to act as my Daddy in the wedding and give me away, that is if I am not marrying Jack.
Jack has been so good to me, treating me like I am his daughter. I know that he is an older man, but I still have feelings for him. The question is: do I see him in a romantic way or not? I have had a dream about us marrying, but is that a fantasy or my heart telling me that he is the one? I dare not act upon my feelings because if I did, everything would change and I would hurt Jack, which I would never do.
Jack started his diner after his wife and daughter were killed in an auto accident years ago. He and his wife had opened up the Augusta Cafe when I was a toddler. After the funeral, he changed the sign to Jack's Diner and started hiring school kids to be waitresses, and dishwashers while he cooked. He adopted his staff and became their Second Daddy. He would help them when they married and with tuition to college. When he adopted me, I knew that I had become apart of a very special family.
If Jack is my second Daddy, then Erin is my Second Mother. She has helped me to realize my dream to become a woman and has never judged me for being different. Erin along with Miss Jessica Bell have helped to create Sandy. Jessica went through the records and now I am listed as a girl. Before now, I was a scrawny, geeky boy that nobody noticed, but as a girl, I blossomed into who I am today.
Erin and Diana took me under their wing and guided me into being a girl. Under their mentoring, I learned all about how to act like a lady. I just wish that I could have been a Cheerleader or taken up ballet, but my dad would never spend any money on such stuff and only bought a Yearbook to support the school. He was always angered whenever I won any recognition. When I finally have my surgery and am able to move away, I will not miss him, but I will miss my brother and Mother. He has made his wishes clear and I will not change to please him. I have learned from Ellen and her Trans-girl Life Partner Veronica
about being a girl and when I finally marry and have a family and
career, it will be thanks to them.
Stan 27.04.08 © 2008
