No Marie tonight, instead I barely recognised Inge with her clothes on manning reception. Oops! You know what I mean, she was wearing a bikini last time I saw her.

"You have a good trip today?" I'd told her where we were off to last night.

"Pretty good, no drama's at least. Any luck with, you know?"

"With what?" Den enquired

"Inge's Dad runs the mining museum just up the road," I advised

"Donnerstag after dinner okay?" Inge told us

"He said yes? That'd be great. How much? I'll tell the passengers tonight."

"Fünf Euro each"

"That sounds good, I'm sure they'll go for it. I'll let you know numbers later yes?"

"Okay, see you later Nena, I'm on reception all evening, oh I nearly forgot, Maria asked me to mention, erm Frühstück?"

"Sandwiches?"

"Yes, sorry to have to mention it but " she shrugged in resignation

"Hey not your fault" Den stated, "we'll mention it later okay"

"Danke"

"I'll see you later about the visit Inge" I confirmed

"Okay"

"Tschuss"

"Where did that come from?" Den asked as we headed up to our rooms.

"We were talking at the party last night, it was Maria's idea really"

"No one could ever accuse you of not trying!"

"Yep, I'm very trying" I quipped

"I'll do the jokes if you don't mind" he retorted

"Don't they ever listen, I bet we get this breakfast thing every time we come here," I complained

"Not your fault if they want to be treated like kids"

"I know but it's embarrassing"

It was a traditional pork meal tonight, a bit much for some people, myself included. I've never been great at eating off the bone so I'll admit to only picking at my main course. There were a few red faces when I mentioned the hotels stance on breakfast, from some unexpected quarters! Certainly not who I'd got pegged as roll thieves! The proposed mine visit was well received; I had forty-three names for Inge.

With no driving for Den tomorrow, we slipped down to the Jägermeister for some alcohol! About ten the smell of pizza got the better of me and I ordered a Hawaiian for 'supper'. We called it a night not long afterwards; it's an early start in the morning.

"Damn Chris, there's a bite in the air"

"Tell me about it" I retorted, "I'm freezing" I hugged my jacket closer as Den paced up and down. "Give over Den, they said seven, there's a few minutes yet" Yep seven o'clock in the AM is not the warmest time of day to be stood or sat on a breezy Todtmoos street corner.

Just then there was the distant sound of an approaching bus and I collected my bag and the 'takeaway' breakfast that Maria supplied for us. The growl of the approaching vehicle was the only human sourced noise, the twittering of the birds and rustling of leaves providing counterpoint.

Although we were the only pick up here, there were already about a dozen passengers on board and there were pickups all the way down to Bad Säckingen. It seemed a bit odd not sitting at the front and Den was certainly at a loss! We made four more pickups before our last in Laufenburg. The driver turned us around and dropped down to the Rheinbrücke and the crossing into Switzerland.

It was like something out of one of those old spy films, barriers at each end of the bridge and guards complete with guns. All very James Bond! The guard did a cursory passport check and waved us through into the impossibly narrow lanes through the Swiss side of town. It was already eight o'clock as we left the Rhein and headed into northern Switzerland.

I sat watching the green fields go by, Den broke open our 'breakfast' and I munched on a ham sandwich as we headed towards Aarau. This was all new to me, when we transit this area we are on the motorways, we never see the countryside more than as a fleeting backdrop to a procession of motor vehicles.

We joined the motorway system just north of Luzern, not a stop on today's trip. I was starting to feel vindicated by my choice of outfit for the day, it was warming up nicely and almost clear blue skies were reflected in the waters of the Vierwald Stättersee, Lake Lucerne to you and me! Pilatus loomed on our right as we turned for the Brünigpass and the northern range of the Swiss Alps appeared on the skyline.

I was a bit surprised when we pulled off of the main road in a little village and came to rest outside what I can best describe as an up market transport café.

"Dreizehn minuten bitte" the driver advised, he was first off and into the little emporium!

"Coffee?" I suggested

"Why not" Den agreed

We joined the motley collection of German hausfrau's, pensioners and holidaymakers that made up the passenger list and found a little table by the open front windows.

"Enjoying it?" I asked

"It feels pretty odd, not driving"

"I know what you mean, I keep thinking I ought to check on the passengers"

"The driver's not exactly talkative is he?"

"I guess there's not much mileage in getting friendly with day trippers"

"I suppose" Den allowed

We finished our drinks and with ten minutes before we were due to leave, took the opportunity to have a quick explore of the village, Sachseln apparently. Not much to see really, down past the main road the waters of a lake sparkled in the morning sunshine and almost next to the café the imposing church dominated. Back on the bus once more, we resumed our journey, climbing steadily up to the top of the Brünigpass, the sign at the top claimed a mere 1008m.

We dropped much more rapidly on this side joining the road towards Brienz and Interlaken. At the former we passed a smoky little steam locomotive waiting to haul it's passengers up the mountainside beside us. No stop at the woodcarvers for us today, instead we followed the Brienzersee along to Interlaken. I have to say that I was less than impressed with the place, a few big hotels and a smattering of mostly tourist shops. I guess it does make an excellent base for exploring the area, lakes, mountains and some of the finest rail rides anywhere.

I don't think anyone was too upset when we didn't stop for more than the lights and instead continued on across the valley floor towards our lunch stop. Leaving the main valley our route wound slowly uphill before turning onto the climb proper that after a short series of hairpins brought us out under the gaze of the top of Europe a mass of 4000m summits crowding the horizon. This is more like it!

It was just a smidgen after twelve when we pulled to a halt in one of the coach parks. Everyone got off but we had no instruction from the driver.

"Um wieviel Uhr fährt der Bus ab?" I enquired

"Fünfzehn Uhr"

"Drei Uhr?"

"Ja"

Talkative isn't he?

"Three o'clock Den"

"What do you want to do then?"

"Eat, how about going on a train or something, we've got time I reckon"

"Well let's check that out first" Den suggested, "I saw the station just back down the road"

There were some nice shops; I wouldn't mind a look in one or two of them if we have time. At the Bahnhof Den took charge and checked the timetables and pricelists.

"It's not cheap," he declared

"Go on"

"Over fifty quid to the top"

"That is a fair chunk of dosh," I agreed

"Hmm, we could go to this Shedig place, that's only fifty three Francs"

"Well I guess we're here, it's not like we're skint" I checked the map to see where he meant, must be this Kleine Scheidegg place.

"Come on then, it's due to leave in a couple of minutes."

Tickets bought, we climbed onto the waiting train and settled into a pair of window seats and pushed the window down. I breathed the clean rare mountain air and sat back with a smile on my face. With a squeal and lurch we were off. As we cleared the station the north face of the Eiger came into view and I could just pick out the rail line on the alp below that huge slab of rock.

Den was busy with his camera and as we dropped down to cross the valley I closed my eyes and sighed in satisfaction. This is the life, fresh air, no responsibilities, and great scenery; yep I could get to like this! I unconsciously straightened my skirt; well maybe there is one thing I'd change!

"You okay?" Den asked pausing from his David Bailey activities.

"Yep, I could manage this every day"

"You'd get bored eventually"

"I guess but it'd be good for a while. What about you? You ever fancy doing something other than driving?"

"Not really, oh I know it can be boring up and down the motorways but I'm pretty much my own boss, I get to go to some interesting places, meet lots of people."

"I guess you're right, I would get bored, but it's a nice idea"

The train steadily climbed towards our destination, still hidden from view ahead of us.

"So why did you agree to be Nena?" Den asked

Not a question I was prepared for really. I thought a while before replying.

"Not really sure, the money"

"I'd want more than a few extra quid to do what you're doing" Den mentioned

"Well I suppose I sort of enjoy being Nena"

"I know you've taken to the shopping aspect" he joked

"A girls got to look good" I smiled back, "and anyway you don't seem to mind me being Nena"

"Well I have to admit, I wasn't keen on the whole thing when it started but you're the same person underneath. You were always good to be on a tour with but with Nena it's, I don't know, different maybe better."

"You prefer me as a girl?"

"I didn't mean that, not really. It's just, oh I don't know! You seem to be more relaxed. You're sat there now just looking at the scenery and stuff, if Chris was here"

"He is," I pointed out

"If Chris was here" he reaffirmed, "he'd be bouncing around taking photo's, rattling away about this and that. You're just a lot calmer in a skirt"

Am I really? Does wearing a skirt make that difference? I don't feel any different; I hadn't even noticed that I was talking less. Did I talk because I was nervous; am I more confident in women's togs?

The train rattled and clanged to a stop, we were at Kl. Scheidegg station.

"Come on, lets get some lunch" Den suggested.

"Coming"

We joined the diners on the restaurant terrace under the gaze of the Mönch and Jungfraujoch. After a light lunch we had half an hour before our return train so we took a stroll up the hillside and found a spot to sit amongst the alpine flowers under the still clear blue skies, just a hint of cloud touching a snow capped mountaintop.

A train trundled past below us breaking the silence.

"So you gonna be Chris again after the season?"

"You bet! There is no way I want to keep these," I hefted my boobs, "or sit to wee longer than necessary!"

Den looked thoughtful

"We'll see"

What's that supposed to mean?

We arrived back in Grindelwald at two thirty, time for a quick shop! Well window shop anyway. I actually only bought a couple of postcards but it was the effort that counts! Back at coach there were still a few minutes before we were due to leave, the driver was doing a good trade in bottles of beer and soft drinks. Den fetched a couple of bottles and we sat looking at the mountains sipping beer, drinking in the view until we heard the coach start up.

At this time of day you'd expect to be heading home and we were soon back at Interlaken, we picked up the northbound motorway up past Spiez and Thunersee and along the Aare valley before pulling into Bern. I wrote my postcards and stuck stamps on, I intended to post them in Switzerland. Our taciturn driver pulled up by the bear pits and with only a cursory 'eine Uhr' left us to it.

Much as I hate this sort of thing we joined the crowds at the bear pits where a couple of slightly sorry looking Ursus kept the crowds attention, but not mine.

"Come on Den, let's have a look up the town"

"We've only got an hour"

"Long enough"

We crossed the bridge high above the Aare and entered Bern old town. The road climbed up and shortly the road was flanked by arcades on both sides of the road hiding a whole variety of shops. Den took a few more pictures, the arcades, mid road statuary and such, I found a post box for my cards, 'nother job done. We didn't get that far really before it was time to head back, we crossed the road and headed back down the hill.

Commuter traffic slowed our exit from the city but soon we were back on the motorway skirting the Bernese Oberland on our way back to Aarau and eventually Germany. I have to admit that the mountain air had got to me and the boring motorway soon had my eyelids dropping. A sudden deceleration jerked me awake and to my mortification realised I had been lying on Den's shoulder.

"Er sorry"

"What for?"

"Laying on you"

"Don't worry about it"

"Where are we?"

"Aarau I think, it's not far back to the river from here"

Den was right; we were soon waiting for the Swiss Guard back at the Rheinbrücke. The drop offs were quicker than this mornings pick ups and we stepped down ourselves in Todtmoos shortly after seven thirty, too late for dinner at the hotel, but we knew that anyway.

"Good day?" Maria greeted us

"Brilliant!" Den supplied

"I think he enjoyed himself" Maria quipped, "you two eaten?"

"Not since lunch"

"Well go and get freshened up, you can come eat with me"

"There's no swimming pools involved?"

"No, only Boris"

"Who's Boris?" Den asked

"My baby"

"I didn't know you had children Maria"

"Kinder? No, no, Boris is my Hund!" she laughed

"Okay, thanks Maria, we'll join you and Boris for dinner"

"About forty minutes then"

"Forty minuten" I confirmed

At the allotted hour Maria found us and the three of us set off on the short walk to Maria's apartment. It was pleasant if small but it did sport a good-sized balcony, Boris' territory! Oh yeah Boris is what I call a 'sausage dog', and for all lack of leg he gets around quick enough! The fact that dinner arrived pretty quick told me that Maria had this planned earlier.

"Ooh thanks Maria, smells good"

"Ach it's not so much"

The not much was meatballs and spaghetti followed by cheese and biscuits.

"Is that the time already, you'll have to excuse me for a few minutes, I need to take Boris for a quick walk"

"I'll do that Maria" Den volunteered

"Are you sure Dennis, he can be very stubborn"

"No problem, me and Boris get along just fine, don't we lad" Den chucked Boris under the chin.

So Den set off with Boris in tow leaving me at Maria's tender mercies.

She started in German, which I've translated for you

"You are Transvestit no?"

Well how's that for an opening gambit!

"Sorry?"

"You are Chris aren't you?"

"I, ah" I started to panic

"Calm down, you've answered the question."

I took a long draft of coffee and sat looking at my hands.

Maria pulled her chair round next to me.

"Don't worry, it doesn't bother me and if you were wondering how I guessed, well it wasn't anything you've said or done wrong. In fact I still can't believe it myself"

"So how?"

"The register, you signed in as Chris Hornby"

"Bum!"

"I remember Chris from last year, he looked nothing like you do now. If you don't mind me asking, why the change?"

"It's a long story but not what you think"

"If you want to tell me?"

"Okay, well it started..."

I gave her the short version, short enough that Boris was still not back from his walkies when I finished.

"Den knows this?"

"From the start" I confirmed

She shook her head in amazement.

"Well your secret's safe with me but I think the chef will be disappointed!"

"He doesn't?"

"Hook, line and sinker. Don't worry, I'll put him off."

Den and the moribund Boris returned just then.

"We ought to be making tracks Nena" Den advised

"I suppose so. Thank you for the meal and everything Maria"

"No problem. See you both at breakfast"

"Goodnight"

"Night"

"Maria knows," I mentioned as we walked back

"How?" Den asked calmly

"I signed the register as Chris on Sunday, it wouldn't take a great detective to work it out"

"I take it she's okay though?"

"Yeah but I've got another problem"

"More?"

"Your buddy David has apparently got the hot's for me"

"My girl's pulled!"

"No she hasn't and doesn't want to either!" I fumed

"Easy. So what are you going to do?"

"Maria said she'd have a quiet word."

"You need a 'taken' flag"

"A what?"

"A 'taken' flag. You know like a wedding or engagement ring. It won't put all the Lothario's off but it will work on most of them."

"But that's ..."

"That's sensible, that's what it is. Unless you want to have a string of love struck men trailing you?"

"No way!"

"In that case I suggest we look out for a ring. Call it part of the camouflage"

We reached the Schwarzwalder Hof and were greeted by Inge, covering the night shift.

"Good dinner?"

"Fine thanks, tomorrow night?"

"I've swapped shifts with Birgit and Maria has already asked Dave to have dinner ready a bit earlier"

"Thanks Inge, you're a treasure!"

"That's what friends are for"

"We'd best get to bed" Den mentioned

"Let her get some sleep though Dennis" Inge suggested. I blushed all the way to the roots.

"In her own bed, she snores" Den retorted

"Good night Inge" I managed

"Güten Nächte"

Maddy Bell 19.06.04

© 2004

Pictures of Nena have been generated using Ania's 'Cherie' Fkiss doll on Angy-Chan's template and are Copyright 2004. They are used with permission, if you'd like to see more go to www.acharsi.prv.pl

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