"I've been telling Drew you think he's a girl." Mad began.
Rhod spat his mouthful of coffee back into the cup.
"That's not what I said." Cat replied defensively.
"Alright if it wasn't that what was it then?" I asked.
"All I did was ask Maddy why you were wearing a dress when you were on the podium with your mum in Paris."
"And I explained to you that it wasn't Drew, he was sick." Mad chipped in, I nodded.
Rhod and Aunt Carol did their best to add their weight to the argument but it didn't seem to be enough, Cat was adamant and I was getting close to breaking point.
She must have had enough when she said, "I'll say whatever you want me to say but you can't tell me what I saw."
I, however lost it completely.
"You can say what you want, no-one will believe a stupid little girl like you anyway."
The upset she was feeling was written all over her face as she said "I wasn't going to say anything to anyone." and bolted from the table out into the mall.
"Way to go Drew." said Mad.
"Well, she was asking for it." I seethed.
"No Drew. She wasn't." sighed Aunt Carol.
She gestured at Mad and both the Peters girls went off to search leaving me and Rhod on our own.
"Drew mate, I've known you for as long as I can remember but I've never seen you be that nasty." he said.
"You know what will happen if other people find out, my life won't be worth living. It's bad enough when people mistake me for a girl but when they can see through Gaby to me I'm in real trouble."
"Weren't you listening, she said she wasn't going to say anything and even though I've only met her today I thought she meant it. I think you were too busy getting in a panic. You'd better hope Mad and Mrs P find her before she does something stupid otherwise your ass is grass."
Oh god I hoped so, all of a sudden the realisation of what I had just done hit me. The images of Cat fleeing, police searches and having to face her parents mingled with everything else and left me cold.
I tried to calm down hoping that my brain would stop racing and start working rationally again. How had Cat read me when everyone else was totally convinced that I was a girl, sometimes even when I was dressed as a boy. Forgetting whether I believed she would tell people about me it was just as important to discover from her what had given me away so I could do something about it.
Hang on a minute, what was I saying? It was ok to be Gaby so long as no-one recognised me as Drew? I must've been out in the sun too long. I tell you I am never dressing as Gaby again.
It was then that I saw Mad walking back towards us alone, 'please tell me that you found Cat', I thought as she returned to her seat next to me. She could tell how I felt.
"Yes we found her, she'd only got as far as Marks and Sparks.*"
"She ok?" Rhod asked.
"Yes, lucky she doesn't know this place well or we might be chasing buses by now. I hope you've calmed down now Drew."
I nodded.
"You sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure, I'm calmer than a Buddhist on a millpond."
Mad giggled. "Well I'm not sure you're quite that calm, but compared to five minutes ago it's a big improvement. If you go back to the car mum should be there with Cat by now so the two of you can talk. She wants to apologise to you can you believe that?"
I think I owed her an apology too but first there was something bugging me. "How did they get there, I didn't see them come by."
Maddy responded, "They went round the outside, straight into the car park, mum wanted me to be sure you were ok before we put the two of you back in the same place. I know you were worried, but try not to scare her off again. OK?"
I was more than worried but there was no point trying to explain further, so I nodded and headed back to where I remembered the car was. As I made my way across the car park I made a decision, to find out what had given me away I would have to add Cat to the list of people who knew that I was Gaby.
Aunt Carol saw me approach and pointed me to the seat behind hers. With Cat in the front passenger seat she could keep us apart if it kicked off again. Before I could say anything she took control of the situation.
"I'm sure you've got questions Drew but first I think there's something you both need to say to each other."
I remembered this kind of speech from mum and dad when I was younger and had plagued Jules, first the apologies then the explanations.
"I'm sorry Drew I didn't mean to freak you out. I thought about it after Maddy caught up with me and I know how it must've sounded."
"I'm sorry too Cat, I totally lost the plot for a while there and said some stuff I shouldn't have."
"Drew." Aunt Carol said. "You've got questions and maybe Cat has some answers but you've got to promise not to go off at the deep end, and you young lady have to promise not to run to Rotherham. I don't want to have to explain that to your parents, if you're going to run can you aim in that direction?" She pointed, I guessed it was south east and then she broke into a smile.
"Ok Mrs Peters".
"Cat, I know I'm not related to you but after the stunt we pulled in Bhs if you want to call me Aunt Carol for today that's fine."
"Ok, Aunt Carol."
She smiled and looked from one of us to the other. I guess that was our cue, I took a deep breath before starting.
"If I admit that it was me with mum in that picture will you tell me how you knew?" I asked.
"Well I think you just did admit it so yes I'll tell you. And you don't have to worry, your secret is safe I promise."
I managed a smile and she continued. "I didn't make the connection until after we had met, but when I took another look at the picture I saw something familiar about the girl, I thought it was just a family resemblance. But the more I thought about it the more it looked like you, not a sister or a cousin but Drew. Then there was the article about your mum in Cycling Weekly with daughter Gaby. But I didn't get confirmation until we were coming out of Sainsbury's, when Mad's.. I mean Aunt Carol, said about my bra everyone else looked at you and the last piece fell into place."
It wasn't the first time my friends had slipped up but not like this, they had just confirmed Cat's suspicions. The interview in the comic hadn't helped either. If she knew then surely someone else must.
"When you looked at the picture what gave me away?" I asked.
"Not a thing, you looked stunning. I loved your dress, I've got a top like that at home. If anything I was almost jealous."
Mrs P stepped in.
"We'll have no false modesty here, you're very pretty too."
Too? I thought, I don't want to be 'pretty too' I don't want to be pretty. Through a grimace I said, "Thanks aunt Carol."
"Sorry Drew, but you have to admit that as Gaby you do make a lovely girl."
'Grrr' I thought, gave her a look and picked up where I had left off.
"So if nothing gave me away then how did you tell?"
"When I was younger I had a friend who was a girl trapped inside a boy's body and ever since then I've got this sort of radar, most of the time I could tell if someone in a film, or on the telly is doing what you do."
It made some sense but I wasn't totally convinced, it would have to do for now though.
So with things more or less resolved we went back inside and found the others finishing their drinks. Cat and I no longer had the stomach for ours so Rhod and Mad disposed of what was left before we headed for WH Smith where I could distract myself by bashing a few magazines and books. Rhod, Mad and I each did our own thing but Cat stayed in the same general area as Mrs P. Can't say I blame her for feeling a little wary of me after my outburst.
When we were finished browsing and buying there was still plenty of time for an afternoon movie. Rhod liked the look of American Pie 2, Cat wasn't sure her mum would approve but he tried his best to win her round. He could see she was wavering so he got down on his knees and pretended to beg.
"Alright alright you win, now get up and stop making puppy dog eyes." She said giggling uncontrollably. She wasn't the only one laughing either.
Laughter really is the best medicine, by mucking about Rhod had managed to diffuse all of our tension and set things up just right for the film. We all knew we had made the right choice long before the end credits rolled. The 'little incident' from earlier was nothing more than a memory.
We started back towards the car but our card carrying shopaholic (Maddy) wasn't ready to leave, she wanted to hit the shops. In the end she had to settle for the promise of coming back when her exchange partner arrived and showing her everything that the Meadowhall had to offer.
By the time we left the overcast skies were delivering the rain we had been promised and were slowing down everything on the roads. Yuck.
Our original plan had been to drop Rhod off first then Cat and end up back at the Peters but the minute we pulled away him Cat made her own suggestion. "Can we go somewhere to talk some more please?"
I looked into the back and wondered what was on her mind.
"Once we've unloaded the car there will be a quiet spot at home for the three of you." Mrs P suggested.
"I would prefer it if it was just Drew who heard what I've got to say." Cat replied.
Knowing Maddy so well I could read the signs and tell she was a bit put out at being excluded but she did a pretty good job of concealing it from Cat.
Her extra pair of hands came in useful again, we transferred everything from the car to the kitchen in record time and left Mrs P to put things away.
Cat and I sat down in the front room to talk, Maddy hovered around us for a few moments and was just about to head off to her bedroom when Cat stopped her.
"You trust Maddy with your life don't you?" she asked me.
I wasn't sure where she was going with this but answered truthfully. "Yes, I have done." I remembered some of the occasions where I had relied on Mad and she had come through for me.
She got the message and now joined me on the sofa.
"Well I'm about to trust both of you with mine." Cat continued.
This was getting more curious by the second.
"You know about MAD don't you?"
"Know what about me?" Mad asked.
Cat giggled.
"Sorry Maddy, I didn't mean Mad as in you I meant MAD as Mutually Assured Destruction. We did it as part of history last term."
I had heard of it but we hadn't done the cold war yet in history so I let her continue.
"If someone pushes the button to start World War 3 then someone else fires back and everyone dies. So no one is prepared to start it because they know what's going to happen in the end."
A bit morbid but I got the idea.
"I've told you that I won't share your secret with anyone but you're not totally convinced."
She was right, there was just a little shadow of doubt in my mind.
"So if I tell you a secret about me then we are even, if I tell anyone about you then you can tell them about me. I won't do it so you won't need to but it's there as a kind of safety net."
"What can you tell us that could make things bad for you as what you know about me?" I asked unconvinced.
"You would be surprised." she replied.
"Surprise me then."
She thought for a second as if trying to find the right words.
"You know I said I knew someone transgendered when I was little?"
I nodded, I still hadn't been convinced by it.
"It was me."
The look on Cat's face was one that I recognised as well as the one she had when we first met. That time it was cramp but this one was the one you got when you waited for the world to collapse around you. I had experienced that one a few times since I started doing the Gaby thing.
"No way!" Mad exclaimed.
Cat nodded.
We all sat in silence, how can you follow a revelation like that?
"Isn't anyone going to say something?" Cat asked.
"What do you want us to say?" I replied, I really wasn't sure what to make of it.
"Well I was expecting you to freak again or to not believe me or at least ask me a question, any question."
"How about 'Who's going to win the Prem ** next season?' that's a question." Not one I was bothered about, but football is supposed to be a national obsession.
"Funny." Said Cat, completely deadpan.
"What's to freak about? As someone who gets dressed up as a girl I'm in no position to judge." I said. It was easy to say that to someone I had recently met, if it was someone I had known a long time I might have reacted differently. "The only thing I don't get is that you saw through me but I had no idea."
"That's an easy one. You're a boy who has dressed for a year or two, I never was. I might have started off with a boy's body but I was always a girl where it counted, in my head and my heart."
"So you've lived your entire life as a girl?" Mad asked.
"I wish. I think I was about five when mum accepted something was wrong, finding me playing in their bedroom wearing a half slip as a dress and her fluffy slippers probably helped," Cat giggled. Mad was gobsmacked by that, now there's a first. "When I was seven things had moved on a bit, dad knew, doctors knew, so I was a girl everywhere except school because they thought it would cause trouble. It wasn't until I changed schools at eight that I was finally able to wear my school dresses for real and live as a girl 24/7."
"Wasn't that about the same time you got into cycling." I said somehow recalling what Cat had told us when we first met.
"Yes, by the back door." she giggled.
What did she mean by that? She must have read my mind because she started to explain.
"Mum had me trying all sorts of girlstuff then, ballet, tap dancing, gym club. One of them was horse riding and the stables was a couple of miles away and we only have one car so I had to bike it or walk it. The horses just were not my thing but I really enjoyed the cycling to and from, so mum and dad got me a better bike, that's the one I used for the time trial." She said smiling.
"But that's enough about me, this whole thing started because of you in Paris, now 'fess up."
So I told her about the broken bottle of solvent that left me with boobs and meant that I had to travel to Paris as Gaby. I then gave her a blow by blow account of the final stage as we saw it from the grandstand. She was pretty impressed, and I think even a little jealous to find out what had gone on.
We could have gone on exchanging history for hours but Mad had either seen it or done it so she was getting bored. She suggested that we finish looking at the con pictures. Now that my secret was out Cat could see what I really looked like that weekend.
"Hermione, I should have guessed." she said.
I just smiled.
"There are some seriously cool costumes here, I don't recognise many of them so I don't even know if they look like they are supposed to but when they look that good does anybody really care?" said Cat.
"Well most of them are pretty authentic, it's not often you get a naff one or someone saying 'well actually the insignia you're wearing is the wrong colour and those hats weren't worn until season 2' but it does happen." The nerdy accent Mad used for the last part had us in stitches, she sounded just like Mr Bean.
We checked the rest out and found some more pictures with us in.
Cat said, "That's you Maddy? Wow, that dark wig makes you look like a different person. It really suits you."
"Thanks. That's what these things are all about, pretending to be someone else." Mad replied.
That seems to have been the story of my life over the last few months. I wasn't sure that I wanted to know what that said about me.
We were still looking at the pictures when Mr Peters arrived, tea was almost ready but there was just time for Cat to hear the Tom Baker accent that went with his pic from the weekend before she had to go home for her own tea.
After tea was done Mad and I chilled out together and worked our way through her extensive collection of con pics until I had to go home so I could catch mum's phonecall.
She was already speaking to dad when I got back so I waited my turn then filled her in on the details from the weekend then we got onto Tuesday's ride. I gave her the times that Mad and I had posted.
"You'll have to look to your heels if she keeps this up" she joked.
"I think I've got more competition from elsewhere." I chuckled.
"Oh?"
"We ran into a girl, well actually she ran into us. It was her first time trial and she got the same kind of time on a 4 year old storebought bike as Mad did on yours. I'm no expert but she seems serious about her cycling." I paused for effect. "And she's a fan of yours."
I got the feeling that my unflappable mum was blushing so I changed the subject and asked about the weekend's race, second by less than a tyre width - you can't win them all but mum was certainly trying to.
The last thing we got to talk about was the arrival of our exchange visitors, I did my best to reassure her that we were ready, I was looking forward to it but had some secret doubts as well.
I put the phone down and got ready for the last night in my own bed for a while.
Well today's the day, I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Another bus ride, this time to Mansfield for a bit of bowling. It was just the regular gang today. Bernie had already booked so we couldn't have had anyone else tagging along although I think Ally would liked to have checked Cat out for herself (I wondered what Rhod had told her). It was definitely a good call by Bernie to book, the place was absolutely heaving.
We had a laugh as we bowled although a few times I wondered if I should ask for the gutter guards. Oh for some skill at bowling.
Got back home with enough time to help Jules with the last tidy-up and to move my stuff into the spare room before we had to be at the school.
The coach arriving marked the start of the American invasion. Of course Mad's partner was the first off and the Walters girls, well they were the last. We took care of the introductions then loaded up the camper and headed for home.
* Marks and Spencer, a high street clothing chain that also sells good quality food.
** The Premiership, the top professional soccer league in the country.
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