“Come on kiddo, we've got to be in Köln by eleven.”

“I'm coming!” I huffed.

“And I can't believe you slept through someone tattooing your face.”

“They're not really tattoos.” I pointed out.

“You really do take the biscuit sometimes Drew!”

I think she's a bit p'ed at me.

“I'm ready.”

“Come on then.” She sighed ushering me out of the door.

I have to say my stomach has been doing flips all morning and I'll be glad to get today out of the way. Maybe by the end of the day they'll have some diagnosis of why my testo level is so low. The good news is that my chest seems to have stopped expanding; all I need now is for it to go into reverse – now that would be good. Oh bum, they are bound to want to look at Herbert and the boys and I've got that stupid heart down there. If its not one thing…

This is a new experience for me, getting treatment in a German hospital. Amazingly my only visit since we moved here was to see Roni after the boar incident! Which given my previous record is amazing!

“So my junge friend, the results are good but also not so good.”

This guy really does talk in riddles, don't get me wrong Dr Fischer is a nice enough chap but his attempts at humour invariably don't make the translation into English!

“Can you explain for us Doctor?” Mum asked.

“Okay, of course. As you know we took quite a bit of blood this morning and I know the scan wasn't that pleasant but it has been very informative. Well let's start with that.” He paused to find some paperwork.

“Right, well the good news is that everything you should have is present, all the equipment is there.”

“There's a but isn't there?” I suggested.

“Well yes Drew there is. There is some anomaly which we need to explore a bit more fully.”

“Not a tumour?” Mum went into immediate panic mode. Not that I was any happier.

“We don't think so but we need to check so we'll do ultrasound after this meeting and maybe a biopsy depending on what the ultrasound shows.”

What about the bloods?” Mum enquired. It really did seem like they were draining me this morning, they must've taken a pint of the stuff!

Selecting another sheet, he scanned the detail before replying.

“Well it is mostly what we would hope for, normal white count, ferric level is maybe a little low, we'll up your dose for that. The hormone percentages are still somewhat adrift of what we would hope to see but they haven't changed significantly from your last tests in England.”

“So my um boobs will stop growing?”

“They are still doing so?”

“They've um got a big bigger since Christmas, like half a cup size.” I admitted.

“You never said kiddo.”

“Its not something you exactly broadcast Mum.”

“Hmm,” the Doc mentioned to no one in particular, “I'll arrange for another bank of tests to look into that, usually the breasts do not grow so large.”

“Can I like get one of those mascomy things?”

“Mastectomy? I think in time yes but I think for now we need to find the cause. They may still reduce naturally and I'd like to give that a chance before we embark on surgical procedures.”

“I agree Drew, you've managed so far and you have ‘commitments' still.”

“I guess.” I sighed.

“So shall we get this ultrasound sorted out.” It was a statement rather than question.

“Okay young lady, lets take a look at you.” The nurse started.

Grrr! It was bad enough that we had had to come to the Geburtsklinik in the first place but now this!

“The patient is male nurse.” Doc Fischer corrected her.

“I am so sorry, she sorry he looks so much like a Mädchen.”

“Shall we get on?”

“Of course, this will be a bit cold Junge Mann.”

She wasn't kidding! She slapped a dollop of lubricant on my lower stomach, I had tucked Herbert out of the way, I do have some modesty!

“So nurse, we are looking for a mass in the lower abdomen.”

I could see the screen, if you've ever seen one of these things on telly I can assure you its well weird when its you it's looking at!

It took the nurse a moment to get a clear picture.

“So, looks normal so far, intestines, colon, fallopian, bladder – where is this mass?” she asked Doc Fischer.

“Behind the bladder.”

“Hmm, not picking anything out that shouldn't be there, bladder, uterine mass.”

“Uterine mass, show me.” The Doc seemed a bit animated.

“Here,” she pointed to the screen, “I would say its pre mense by its size, two fallopian – all there.”

“I think we may have found the problem.”

“Problem?” nurse Klutz enquired.

“You do remember the patient is male?”

“Oh meine Gott!” her hand flew to her mouth.

“Erm is this like bad?” I enquired. My German translation couldn't keep up with everything they said but it didn't sound like all was well.

“Get me a print nurse, lets get you cleaned up Drew, we need to talk with your Mutter.”

Now I was worried, the Doc was trying to act nonchalant but failing miserably!

“So what you are saying Doctor is that my son is really my daughter?”

“Sorry no, perhaps I wasn't clear. We'll need to have a proper look inside but the scan shows that Drew apparently has a set of immature female reproductive organs. That doesn't mean he is female, its not as rare a condition as you might think, many with this condition go on to father children.”

“But others don't.”

“I won't lie to you Frau Bond, Drew, there may be some tough decisions in the next months, surgery most likely. It is unusual for this not to be identified much earlier so that in itself may cause complications. For now I want to schedule the exploratory work as soon as is practical, I have an opening next Monday. I'll be straight with you, if - when the scan is confirmed I would suggest immediate removal of the organs, they have a tendency to become cancerous if left and may store up problems for later.”

“Mum?” this is scary stuff. First he says I've got girl bits inside and then he says he wants to cut them out because of the C word.

“Its okay kiddo,” Mum hugged me close, “Do you mind Doctor, if we take some advisement?”

“Of course, I'll hold Monday open, if you can let me know your decision by Friday. We should have the other tests back by then too.”

It looks like I spoke too soon this morning! I'm a freak but I guess once they've cut me up it'll be over and I'll just be Drew Bond again.

“You okay kiddo?” Mum asked as we joined the autobahn towards Bonn.

“Er kinda, its not every day you find out you're half girl.”

“That's certainly true enough, how do you feel about that?”

“Shocked and confused, the weird thing is that it's the thought of having stuff taken out that bothers me most.”

“But you were talking about a mastectomy earlier.”

“That was before I found out I'm a sort of girl. And like what he said about having kids, like there's no guarantee that getting rid of stuff will make things work is there?”

Mum sighed, “no kiddo, none at all. We'll do some research and get a second opinion before we let them remove anything, we probably should let them take a look though.

“I suppose.” I agreed with a sigh of my own.

The conversation ended there and I resorted to staring out the side window, leaving Mum to her own thoughts. Its kinda ironic really, everyone seems determined to make a girl of me and here I am, a girl – well sort of. The thing is, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

“You okay kiddo? You want to stay off school tomorrow?” Dad enquired.

“I'm not ill or anything.”

“Just thought you might need some time to yourself that's all.”

“Um okay, I'll think about it.”

I must say that Dad took the news of my freakdom remarkably well. It must've been quite a shock nonetheless.

“Why didn't you mention that your chest was still growing?”

“Um like I said to Mum I don't like to worry you.”

“You make us worry more when you leave us out of the loop, I take it your sister knows?”

“Well, er yeah.”

“Drew lad, we've told you before, if there's stuff you need to talk about, anything, we're always here for you, you know that.”

“Uh huh.” I agreed.

I didn't take Dad up on the offer of a skive; missing one day of school is bad enough when you have to catch up afterwards.

“So why were you at the hospital?” Brid asked.

“Brid!” Anna admonished.

“I only asked.”

“'S'okay, I've um got a bit of a plumbing problem.” I allowed.

“Oh poor you.” Anna mentioned.

“Ingrid had some problems down below the other year.” Pia mentioned.

“Too much information!”

“I hope its nothing serious Drew.” Steff put in.

“We don't know yet, I have to go back on Monday.”

“Being ill sucks.” Connie noted.

“Don't I know it.” I sighed.

“You have been krank before?” Anna asked.

“Well not like this exactly but I've fallen off my bike a few times.”

“Not since you came to Dernau?” Brid noted.

“Who's ill?” Nena enquired joining us.

“Gabs, girl problems!” Con advised her.

Con, you don't know how close to the truth you are.

“Give over!” I flustered.

“Sorree Drew, oh if you have to go to hospital Monday will you be working Sunday?”

“Don't see why not, Bern'll be here so I'll probably bring her to hang out.”

“When does she arrive?” Pia enquired.

“Thought I said, they arrive Friday morning.”

“They?” Steff asked.

“Yeah her mums coming for the weekend to like hand her over to my rents.”

Maddy Bell 04.01.09 © 2009

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